


Let the Games Begin!

by Caillieach, MeinNameIstJette



Series: Judging the Verdict [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Angst, Apprentice - Freeform, Balthier is a little shit, Falling In Love, Famfrit's Kiss, Judge Balthier, M/M, Mechanics of Airships, Night Time Missions, Noah is emotionally constipated, Noah's done with his shit, Old Archades, RP-based but it's a smooth read (we promise), Strahl, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 80,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caillieach/pseuds/Caillieach, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeinNameIstJette/pseuds/MeinNameIstJette
Summary: Balthier despises being a Judge. However, his knack for the role and the fact he graduated top of his class has him in the running for work as a Judge Magister. So far, he's managed to ruin three apprenticeships and working on his fourth.Balthier's one issue now istheJudge Magister Gabranth. Regrettably, a surprising adversary.
Relationships: Balthier/Gabranth | Noah fon Ronsenburg
Series: Judging the Verdict [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682284
Kudos: 12





	1. Challenge Accepted

**Author's Note:**

> **IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!** This is a copied-and-pasted Discord roleplay between meinnameistjette, who is writing Balthier Bunansa, and Caillieach, who is writing Noah fon Ronsenburg/Judge Magister Gabranth. As is usually the case with roleplays, the point of view changes often to highlight how both of the characters perceive the events as per our characterisation of them. We decided to post it after noticing an almost blatant and sacrilegious lack of Balthier/Gabranth fanfiction despite the fact that, given Balthier’s past as a Judge, it is quite possible that they may have known each other, at least in passing.
> 
> That being said, this is an AU following that idea. Due to the quite frankly extensive timeline of events in FFXII and its corresponding mediums (e.g. Revenant Wings), we have decided to adjust it slightly to fit our plot. The most notable change is that Balthier, at the beginning of this RP, is 18 while Noah is 23 and hasn’t been a Judge Magister for long.
> 
> However, we would also like to point out one very important thing: Both Balthier and Noah are still very young here and therefore may seem a bit different to their in-game characters as we know them. They are simply less jaded and haven’t made many experiences that shaped them yet. In Balthier’s case, he hasn’t left Archades, his family and his life behind to become a sky pirate yet; in Noah’s case, it hasn’t been long since Basch left their family, Landis fell and he came to Archades which means the negative feelings in him haven’t had a chance to fester as much yet as at the time of the main game.
> 
> So far, we have about 300 Google Docs pages worth of content which we are planning to post as we proof-read and edit them, but please be warned (just in case because at the time of posting, the muses are very loud) that while the first part of this adventure has been completed, the second (yes, there’s a second part being written!) or any further parts may not have a clean or concise ending - it depends on our inspiration.
> 
> **Last but not least, this is a reminder that we wrote this for fun and first and foremost for ourselves. We do appreciate comments but ask you to refrain from constructive criticism as this is not meant to be judged (despite the serie’s title).**
> 
> Now, please enjoy~!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Thank you, [Octomerlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octomerlin), for agreeing to beta this monster for us! You are the best! ♥
> 
> * * *

Life in Archadia was....interesting for a lack of a better word.

Interesting for many reasons, one of them being that as highly regarded as most of the judges were, Ffamran knew them to all be idiots. Idiots in power and quite the tragedy too, considering what Archadia is hoping to accomplish.

Each judges’ first blunder, so far, was to underestimate Ffamran. Their second blunder was to assume he was only there thanks to his namesake. A name that he wasn't particularly fond of and one that he thought of changing on a multiple of occasions. To a far better name for a hume like him and one he affectionately called himself when alone, Balthier. It was a name that he hoped to one day take for himself, a name that he felt represented who he is and would continue to be in the future.

Ffamran, Balthier, couldn't tell anyone. Not yet. But eventually, he would be able to use the name that felt right. The epic of Balthier had only begun its origin story after all. There was just one more thing he needed to do before he could reach his full potential, the protagonist to this adventure novel. And, currently, this prologue has brought him to the final stages before his big reveal, the office of one known as Judge Magister Gabranth.

Fortunately, said Judge Magister was not currently in his office.

A perfect opportunity for Balthier to make himself at home in an office he's sure he'll be well-acquainted with soon enough. He circles the lavish looking oak desk that was sparsely decorated, if he counted the gold paperweight that all judges were gifted upon their appointment.

Boring. This man was boring.

Hazel green's shift to the few drawers along the inside of the desk. He takes a seat, rolling the chair closer to the drawers as he pulls them open, one at a time. Nimble fingers sift through the folders and papers in each of them. Lips curve downwards at the lack of an interesting discovery. No treasure.

Suspicious.

It meant that Judge Magister Gabranth may not be as boring as Balthier first anticipated. He can't help the slight pout as he closes the bottom drawer and leans back against the comfortable leather office chair.

The treasure, Balthier suspects he's looking for, was hidden within Gabranth's person....and now that he was here, he needed to figure it out before he could move on. Before his Chapter One is to truly begin.

So, Balthier makes himself as comfortable as possible, pushing the office chair back so he can prop his feet on Gabranth's desk. He knew full well that most judges hated when their office space was desecrated by someone as young and disrespectful as him. The thing was, that so far, none of the judges had caught on that he was playing with them, figuring each one of them out by pushing all of their buttons.

Observing, biding his time for the right moment to strike, exactly what his father had taught him.

His father's words remained with him.

_Life is a game, Ffamran, that once you figure out its rules, you can play around with them and make them suit your needs._

A good saying to live by and one that Balthier had internalized.

Judge Magister Gabranth would be no different from the other ones and so Balthier had every intention to end this one quicker than he had the others.

Balthier glances at the intricate looking clock on Gabranth's wall....another gift he imagines considering how utilitarian Gabranth seemed to be otherwise.

He just can't wait to see the face of the judge when he sees Balthier sitting in the one place he probably shouldn't be.

_Let the games begin, Gabranth, let them begin....and see who was truly the smarter man._

* * *

_Ffamran Mied Bunansa._

If Draklor Laboratories best scientist hadn't already made a name for himself even in the spacious but mostly empty halls of the palace and the heart of Archadia's imperial court, his son would have achieved it shortly after becoming a judge if the rumours circulating the military are any indication.

Made a judge at the tender age of 16, the boy has proven to be a menace, albeit one that can't be pinned down if the rumours are to be believed. 

Noah isn't quite sure what to think yet except that finding himself with the 'menace' in question assigned to him doesn't suit him at all and that Bergan's gleeful smirk at the announcement rubbed him the wrong way. Frowning, he makes a mental note to take the brute down a notch the next time he approaches him for a 'training match' that is really just a poorly disguised excuse for attempting to take Noah down a notch. 

So far, Bergan hasn't succeeded.

And if Noah has anything to say about it, he won't. 

A dark scowl fixed to his face, Noah's testy mood is obvious and discourages anyone think about approaching him on his way back to his office. The weekly briefing about the state of war in Rozarria should have ended an hour ago but didn't. Bergan's glee and disdain directed at him didn't help with his sour mood either and Noah wishes he could put meeting his new protege off for another day or at least a few hours but it wasn't to be.

And to think Emperor Gramis expected him to figure out why their spies in Ambervale, Rozarria's capital, have gone quiet and failed to check in as soon as possible. Fat chance of getting to it right away with his new responsibility as mentor getting in the way.

Although...despite the annoyance Ffamran ( _honestly, what kind of name was that?_ ) presents, Noah actually finds himself intrigued. So far, he's only ever seen Bunansa from afar trailing after whoever he was assigned to at the time, but he has never met the boy. The rumour mill makes him out to be the usual noble son with influential parents hoping to make a career without much effort, but somehow, Noah has his doubts. He has to have a good head on his shoulders or he wouldn't have been able to get his supervisors into trouble without coming under direct suspicion so far. _If_ his hunch is right, Noah will have to watch himself lest Ffamran tries to pull a stunt with him too.

_Well, he can try._

Reaching his office, Noah stops short in the doorway for a brief moment at the sight of a young honey blond man sprawling in _his_ chair with long legs propped up on his desk. Irritation rears its head, but Noah pushes it down as best as he can. Bright, hazel-green eyes belie the boy's obvious intelligence and instinctively, Noah knows he's in for an interesting time.

"You've made yourself at home, I see." Noah deadpans and closes the door behind him. Considering the younger man - not a boy - in front of him, Noah knows this one will test his boundaries and limits. Deciding to see how Bunansa reacts to an authority figure not acting as expected, Noah moves closer and settles down in one of the visitor chairs in front of his own desk.

"Comfortable?" Noah arches a brow and folds his arms in front of his chest.

_Let's see what you're made of, Ffamran._

* * *

_Ahh, there he is, the beloved Judge Magister Gabranth. Imposing and yet fragile, although very handsome._

Balthier was far more intrigued than he should be and even more so when the man closes his office door and sits in the visitor chair. It certainly has Balthier arching a brow as well as a lip, a smirk settling across his features.

"Yes, quite." Balthier responds as he slides his legs off of the desk, rolls it forward, and then rests his elbows on the hard wooden surface. Balthier folds his hands and rests his chin on it. There's a twinkle of intrigue in his eyes.

"The infamous Judge Magister Gabranth. The second youngest appointed judge in Archadian history. A man of great physical prowess, a strategy genius, and the man who single-handedly restructured Archadia's spy network." Balthier hums purposely listing off the things his mentor had done. "The loner judge and yet a man of high moral standard."

Balthier's smirk widens. "And, with great honour and prestige, my mentor."

It's Balthier's turn to lean back against the leather office chair and mimicking Gabranth, he folds his arms over his chest. The fact that he hadn't gotten angry at the clear show of disrespect had caught Balthier's interest. He wants to know more...see what else would come of this _short_ mentor-mentee relationship.

No matter what, this wouldn't last long.

"Noah Fon Ronsenburg....or would you prefer Noah Gabranth? Hmmm? I'm intrigued. That story must be an interesting one." Balthier comments. "So, Judge Magister Gabranth, what is the first order of the day? Whatever shall you impart on me?"

* * *

Noah regards the young man coolly, taking him in while he speaks. 

Cocky. 

Quite confident. 

Rebellious.

Well, maybe not exactly rebellious, but definitely trying to see how far he can go with him. Probably a tactic the young judge tries with every authority figure he comes across. Noah pauses. So far he has only considered what an inconvenience an apprentice is to him. But what if Ffamran is just as pleased about the matter, or rather, not?

Hazel eyes narrow just a fraction.

"Good, you're able to memorize your information if it's given to you." Or acquired otherwise. "You won't be completely useless then."

Maybe he's being a bit harsh, but what does the boy think he'll accomplish with his little speech? Garner Noah's favour? Noah hopes not. If that were the case, he would have misjudged Ffamran and would be disappointed if he's entirely honest.

So far, the young Bunansa is nothing like he expected and yet exactly what he expected. It's a riddle Noah finds himself interested in solving more than he thought he would.

"I don't know about honour yet. Might just be misfortune." Noah keeps his voice as neutral as he can, knowing that failing to get a rise out of someone can work better in getting a rise out of his opponent than an obvious reaction. And something tells him that's exactly what Ffamran is. An opponent. "For both of us."

If nothing else, the following weeks promise to be much more interesting than usual - certainly more challenging than playing a game of cat and mouse with the Rozarrians - but also tiring, to a degree. If there's one thing Noah is fairly certain about yet, it's that Ffamran has more energy than is good for him sometimes.

Case in point...Noah's expression doesn't change outwardly, but the air he projects around himself drops a few degrees with a dangerous edge to it.

"Want to tell me how you got into sealed records of a Judge Magister?" he asks although the tone of his voice makes it clear it's not a question nor a request.

* * *

Balthier had known how testy this man is, he'd heard from the other judges, seen enough of the interactions between judges to guess the type of dynamic between the lot. It was easy to pit them against each other which was such a shame. Judges should work together. Cooperation was key to success, especially in this type of work. It was probably why Balthier didn't quite enjoy any of this. When he'd been forced to become a judge by his father, the prospect had held some intrigue, but mostly because he’d wanted to make his father proud. That intrigue had dwindled and turned more into a form of entertainment until he was able to spread his wings and fly. Fly out of Archades, preferably.

Judgeship wasn't....what Balthier had imagined it to be, not that he imagined very much considering being a Judge was the last thing he had wanted for himself. It wasn't suitable for a man of his character. This was not the position for the protagonist of his epic nor the soon to be leading man of quite the political intrigue.

Gabranth's tone does elicit a soft chuckle out of Balthier.

Misfortune. Oh no, now Balthier was enjoying this too much. This was not a misfortune for him, not yet, and he hoped never. Perhaps, more so for Gabranth. The man wouldn't know what hit him, metaphorically. There would be no actual hitting unless he was made to spare with the Judge.

"That's where you're wrong. I'm quite enjoying your company, Judge Magister. Although, I should be offended that the sentiment is not returned." Balthier hums as he arches a brow and studies the older man before him.

The shift in the room has Balthier sitting up a little straighter. He keeps his arms folded over his chest, but the man's tone was one he had heard of and never experienced until now. It doesn't frighten him, in fact, it exhilarates him. The fact that Gabranth thought he could intimidate him like any simple foot soldier was laughable. Balthier had endured more duress than any of the judges gave him credit for.

"If I told you, this game would be far too easy." Balthier hums challengingly. "For the man in charge of Archadia's intelligence and our elaborate spy network, you certainly do try to take the easy way out. My secrets are my own as I'm sure yours are your own."

Balthier's lips curve in what would become a very devilishly handsome smirk when he's just a little older. "If you want to know, you'll have to do more than ask me. Where's the fun in that?"

* * *

“I didn’t think you’d be naïve enough to form attachments quite this easily if you’re ‘enjoying my company’ without knowing me or what to expect from this arrangement yet.” Noah says completely unimpressed. “But to each their own, I suppose.”

Internally, Noah smirks. It seems Ffamran is hellbent on provoking him into losing his cool - _well, good luck with that, boy_. Or he really is this naïve which is still a possibility Noah can’t rule out before getting the measure of him. Although his gut feeling clearly warns him that this is a young man who will grow into someone to be reckoned with - only ten minutes into their acquaintance and Noah realises, surprised, that he’d be disappointed if the boy proves him wrong.

Maybe being saddled with an apprentice wouldn’t be so bad.

In fact, it could turn out to be quite interesting if his hunch holds true. Potentially irritating beyond measure as well as tiring...but interesting nonetheless.

“Consider this your first lesson, Bunansa, because this is where you’re wrong.” Noah makes sure to lay enough weight into his voice to catch his apprentices attention. “This is not a game. Information means power. It is sensitive, it is dangerous, it can get people hurt - or killed.”

Noah pauses for emphasis to let his point sink in. If they are to work together, and Ffamran to learn his responsibilities, it is imperative that he understands and internalises this as soon as possible.

“The moment you walked into this door, you accepted your position as my apprentice and with it the responsibilities this position brings. If you cannot appreciate the volatile nature of intelligence work - the door’s behind me.”

He doesn’t bother pointing at it. In fact, Noah is quite comfortable in his seat, arms folded in front of his chest as well as his armour, allows projecting how unimpressed he is with the young man’s behaviour so far. Although a part of him is thrilled about the challenge the Bunansa presents. Because in all honesty, this _is_ shaping up to be a game - between the two of them.

But still, the lesson he’s trying to impart here is the most important one in his line of work.

“I do not expect an answer on how you got your hands on information that shouldn’t be publicly accessible and only privy to a handful of the highest ranking people in this building.” Noah lets that sink in, waits for Ffamran to realise that he has absolutely no intention to answer his questions about his person. “I do, however, expect a deficiency analysis on my desk within the week and a concrete proposal on how to improve security measures on storing sensitive information here. Understood?”

_Let's see how he deals with this without revealing his contacts or 'secrets of trade'._

* * *

"I am humble enough to admit that I have a soft spot for a handsome face." Balthier comments wondering if such a blunt response would get some kind of response from this incredibly stoic man.

It wasn't as if Balthier ever really concealed his intent with any of the judges. They were just too blind to see what he was doing. That was the best type of concealment, out in the open. And, he can easily say that he did learn a lot under the other judges, it was just less to do with their mentorship and more to do with Balthier's own curiosity and mischievous streak.

Balthier does unfold his arms, and he gets up from Gabranth's chair as he circles the desk and perches himself on the ledge of it, right in front of the Judge Magister himself. There was no fear nor any sign of intimidation. But there was open curiosity and a bit of a thrill at what's to come. It was also a perfect angle to admire this man's face and if anything, Balthier did enjoy the simple luxuries such as this one, even if they don't lead to anything particularly exciting.

He crosses one arm over his chest and rests an elbow in his hand as a finger taps at his cheek thoughtfully. There was a twinkle in Balthier's eyes at the mention of volatile and intelligence specifically. "I certainly did." He almost purrs.

The handsome smirk returns to his features as he shrugs lightly at Garbanth's next words. "Oh, understood fully, Judge Magister." Balthier winks. "In fact, let's make this an event. I'll make a full one hour presentation and dress the part." A simple report was below Balthier, this needed to be bigger and far more showy than that.

"I'll even be _honoured_ if you invite others." Balthier's smirk just grows. "Does this mean I'm being dismissed?"

* * *

Noah doesn't jerk with surprise, but it is a near thing. His eyebrows arch almost imperceptibly as he meets Ffamran's confident hazel green gaze. This is...not what he expected when the young man left his seat in favour of perching provocatively on the desk in front of him.

This is not what he expected at all. Period.

Humble certainly isn't the word he would use to describe Bunansa. Not that he seems overly arrogant, although it's too early to say in their short acquaintance. But he does seem very confident and carries himself with a certain swagger that definitely doesn't count as 'humble'. Noah finds it rather amusing, actually.

...so Ffamran Mied Bunansa finds him attractive?

An interesting piece of information and one Noah will store away for further consideration...or usage. It might come in handy, particularly if his apprentice is dancing out of line or presents trouble otherwise, who knows?

"You'll have to try harder than that if that was your attempt at gaining my favour, Bunansa." Noah drawls. "You may have a pretty face but I'll reserve judgement on if there's anything behind it that would warrant my consideration."

Not that Noah would actually entertain anything in that direction. While the young judge is most definitely pleasing to the eye, he is also his subordinate. And Noah knows better than to invite trouble into his bed or use their imbalance in power to his advantage.

And besides, he doesn't actually fancy having to deal with Bunansa the Elder on the off chance Ffamran won't be able to handle anything casual and reacts as most young men do when they realise Noah has no serious designs on them.

Although the sight Ffamran presents perched on his desk, slightly above him forcing Noah to look up to him...is a nice one. He can admit as much to himself.

"An 'event' will not be required." Noah shoots the boy down. "Intelligence work doesn't come with the glamour you seem to crave, so you'd better get used to it. The sooner you do, the easier our working together will be."

It is a far more direct warning than Noah would usually offer to most people, but despite the inconvenience, a part of him does actually want to keep this headache waiting to happen around. Gods know why.

"I expect you to report to me tomorrow at 0800 sharp. You're dismissed."

* * *

"Mmm, shame but understood." Balthier shrugs as he slides off of Noah's desk to stand. "A deficiency analysis and proposal it is, in that case."

It was clear from his tone that he wasn't even bothered in the slightest by the idea of having to hand in any analysis. Balthier already knew what he needed to do, he was the security breach after all. He'd welcome the challenge anyway. If Gabranth decided to even take any of his suggestions to heart. The man didn't seem unreasonable from what he's seen so far. Any other interaction he's had with Gabranth has been from a distance and mostly speculations from former actions.

Now, he had a better idea of the man. It wasn't a full picture, but pieces were falling into place. It would only be a matter of time before he figures him out completely.

That's what Balthier was finding that he wanted, especially at the very strategic move of telling him he had a pretty face. Well played, Gabranth. Balthier would be the last person to deny that he wasn't a slightly vain creature. Looks certainly played in upholding reputation and it would also be something that would help him build his own as Balthier once he was done here.

"Here?" Balthier finds himself asking, wanting that confirmation but also hoping that the man would have them meet somewhere more interesting. Gabranth would learn that if he didn't continue entertaining Balthier, he would find himself in quite a bit of trouble. Balthier was fantastic at occupying himself, and he would do so in a very constructive manner. The thing is, it probably wouldn't be as constructive for Gabranth, more of a permanent migraine.

Although, that would be another side of the infamous Judge Magister that he would learn about. Balthier wanted the vulnerable with the bad, and this man hid his vulnerability within his physical and metaphorical armour.

Balthier moves towards the door and pauses there, waiting for his _mentor_ to confirm a location before he made scarce and planned his next move.

* * *

A bit of tension unravels within Noah. He hasn't expected Ffamran to back off this easily or gracefully for that matter. Truth be told, Noah has been prepared for more subtle verbal battles. And it makes sense that the young Judge would want to get the measure of him, test his boundaries in a way. 

But this is nice. 

A good sign, certainly, or at least Noah decides to take it as one.

Perhaps working with the boy wouldn't be as tiring and challenging as his first impression suggested...although Noah knows better than to count his chocobos just yet. He'll keep an eye on Ffamran, get a better understanding of his character and see how he does in his new function and line of work before he'll do that.

"Here. _Outside_ the door if I'm not here yet, otherwise knock and wait until I bid you enter." Noah confirms. 

Perhaps he's being a bit too harsh, even a tad bit patronizing. But he knows he'll have his hands full with this one, and setting boundaries right from the start is one of the things Noah finds both incredibly useful and important.

The moment Ffamran leaves his office and the door shuts behind him, Noah allows himself to relax in his seat and the stoic mast to fall.

He groans. "Figures they'd saddle me with the most impertinent Judgling the Academy has seen in a while…"

Well, there's nothing for it now. His own past and rough start as a Judge on the forefront of his mind, Noah resolves to give Ffamran a fair chance and teach him how to swim in this pool full of sharks. That he's intrigued by the young man and wants to find out who he really is behind the mask he's so obviously wearing is just an added bonus albeit one promising entertainment.

And Ffamran _is_ hiding who he is behind more than just one layer of invisible armour, of that Noah is sure. Maybe it's not as obvious to others, but to him who is trained in spotting what most people miss it is as obvious as a drop of red on white.

_I'll figure out what the deal is with you, Ffamran Bunansa…_

The thought doesn't leave him alone for the rest of the day, present in the back of his mind even as he pours over reports and later tries to unwind by losing himself in a book in his quarters and it keeps his mind occupied during his usual training regime in the morning.

This is not the first time he has had an apprentice or rather a mentee, he's had a few before. None of which stayed long, judged as unsuitable for the intelligence branch. But in Ffamran's case, Noah has a feeling it will be different. In many ways. Going over his plan for the day, Noah decides that despite this premonition, he won't treat the boy any differently than his predecessors.

Ffamran will have to prove himself before he'll be trusted with more 'interesting' work.


	2. Sleep Never Got Us Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

Balthier is 1000 percent sure that Gabranth is purposely trying to bore him to death. A part of him had been excited at the prospect of challenging _the_ Judge Magister himself, and now....he's already trying to figure out how to end this tiresome mentor-mentee business as quickly as possible. The one issue with Gabranth was that the man didn't have very much dirt on him. As far as Balthier could tell, he held himself to an impeccable standard and the only thing that had been really interesting was the change in surname.

It seemed he wasn't proud of his origins in Landis. Balthier had never been, but he couldn't see how it could shame a man. There must be something else there....perhaps a familial relation that he wasn't too keen on. That would make sense to why he would change his name and to something a lot more Archadian.

Despite the day being boring, Balthier does behave. It was their official number one and as loathsome as it was, Balthier did get to observe Gabranth in his element.

A boring element, but one nonetheless. He was mostly watching the Judge Magister as he interacted with various parties, the way he gesticulated, the way he spoke, the tones he used, his body language, and above all the bit of moral backbone he could gather with how mundane their day had been.

To keep the illusion, Balthier does complete his tasks. With not too much protest, but he certainly takes advantage of the curious company around him. Prying into their brains to see what he can learn with the most casual of conversations. He was a conversationalist after all and he prided himself in the fact that he could usually get the information he wanted out of people.

It was a skill that had taken him a bit of time to learn, but one he appreciated well enough.

There was a lot of down time, Balthier was finding, and he was using it specifically to get the deficiency analysis prepared. It would be wrong to say that while doing this analysis, he was discovering quite a few other things. Nothing alarming just yet, but things of interest. With Gabranth away, Balthier isn't shy as he leaves his _holding cell_ to wander around the Intelligence Department.

As a fledgling Judge, no one questioned him and no one would dare either considering his namesake. It wasn't something that he quite liked, but there was nothing he could really do about a reputation that had been established far before his birth. However, it wasn't as if Balthier wouldn't currently use it to his advantage. He wanted to know more about what he was slowly unraveling and he would do so even if that meant irritating Judge Magister Gabranth.

Which!

He's sure he's done considering he'd all but disappeared without a trace before he could be properly dismissed by the man himself. Technicalities, really. Gabranth would thank him the moment he discovered exactly what was going on....because something was clearly amiss.

More than amiss, it would seem.

It may have been 3:00 in the morning, but Balthier knew better than to wait to tell his mentor something of this importance. It was just a shame that he would have to reveal the fact that he knew where the man slept and that he'd soon be entertaining an unexpected visitor. It was also a shame that whoever had locked up the hoverbikes had done an excellent job, but not enough to keep one like Balthier out of them.

Once again, technicalities, and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

That's how Balthier found himself working Gabranth's window open and slipping as quietly as he can into the man's abode. He suspects to be caught, but it wasn't as if he were planning to mask his presence. His intent was to speak with the Judge Magister himself. This, unfortunately, couldn't wait until morning and more so because Balthier was wide awake and on a high at the stuff he had uncovered.

* * *

Only one day into his new role as mentor and Noah is already sure that this mentorship would be different from the others he's had so far. It certainly started out very differently, seeing as this time he didn't volunteer to take on an apprentice. No, this time he wasn't asked but _volunteered_ for the task by….he'll find out, and soon.

A fact he had been very annoyed with when he had first been told, but one that has lost a lot of its original meaning in record time. Because _Ffamran Mied Bunansa turned out to be as interesting as his name was unusual_ within their first short meeting, and their first full day only cemented the fact. 

It brings Noah not just a little amusement he makes sure to conceal carefully, to see Ffamran doing his best to be attentive and professional while his boredom shines only through in his eyes and the way he moves just a smidge too lazily all day. 

Oh, he's good about it and if Noah hadn't trained himself to pick up on the slightest hints in a person's body language and the way they carried themselves, he would have easily missed it. But he did and he doesn't, and all in all, Ffamran grinning and bearing it brings him more entertainment than he's had since Ghis' hair stylist messed the coloration composition up which resulted in a lovely lilac sheen. 

It isn't lost on him how the young man tries to make connections within the department and how he tries to glean secrets and knowledge during casual conversations as much as possible. He's surprisingly subtle about it. Skilled, even. It warrants the question when and how Ffamran learned this particular skill set. And why? Even if he has always had the talent, his skill is too honed to be merely that.

Curious. Really curious.

At the end of the day, Noah is as quietly amused as Ffamran is secretly bored out of his mind and he's sure that it won't be long before the boy will start to show his infamous mischievous streak.

Well, Noah will be ready. It's not as if he didn't warn his mentee that intelligence work wasn't glamorous. Most of the time it's a lot of research and desk work, mind numbing in its monotony. 

Quite satisfied with himself, oddly looking forward to the next day - and perhaps the answer to the question how much more boredom Ffamran can take before he snaps? - Noah doesn't find it hard to fall asleep for once.

Only to be woken up abruptly by the sounds of his bedroom window being opened and someone trying to enter his domain under the cover of night. Having always been a light sleeper, the slight 'click' of the window opening and the rustle of clothes is enough to rouse his trained instincts and before Noah is even completely awake, he's grabbed the dagger under his pillow and fallen into a defensive crouch, ready to attack even before the intruder has set foot onto the wooden floor.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes without averting his gaze from the figure only illuminated against the backdrop of light outside the palace, something strikes Noah about the posture and physique of the trespasser. Something vaguely familiar.

...Ffamran?

Could it be? Yes, Noah decides as he takes the shadowy figure in. It is definitely his brand new- and _former_ if he doesn't have a really good reason for breaking into his rooms - apprentice crouching on his window sill. Irritation and anger rise within Noah at being awoken in the middle of the fucking night and having his privacy invaded.

Sure that it is his unruly apprentice and not a silent assassin out for his head, Noah lowers the knife a fraction and reaches for his bedside lamp. Weak golden light floods the bedroom and tension gives way to annoyance. 

Very aware of the rumpled pyjama he's wearing and his short but tousled hair and the hint of stubble on his jaw and cheeks, Noah scowls at Ffamran.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

* * *

Balthier can hear the shift in the bed a few feet from the window.

Ahh, so this was the Judge Magister's room, and here he had thought he had overshot. He can't help but be a little impressed with himself and it shows with the curve of his lips into his trademark smirk.

Hazel green eyes study the knife and it doesn't deter from his slight glee at discovering the man like this....and of course he would discover him like this. No sane soul would be up at this time aside from Balthier, who was a man on a mission.

A very pertinent mission that required the Judge Magister's time at this ungodly hour.

"I pegged you for a nude sleeper but this has certainly debunked that myth." Balthier begins as he steps further into the room, glancing around curiously. It wasn't as utilitarian as the man's office, but it still left a lot to be desired.

Without fear, which he certainly should have been experiencing, Balthier moves to make himself comfortable on the side of Gabranth's bed as he pulls out a report that he'd taken the time to actually write out.

He offers the wad of paper towards the man. "There seems to be something unbecoming occurring right under Archadian noses." Balthier begins, finally.

"While I was working on your deficieny analysis, I stumbled across something similar in nature but much more pressing than the kindergarten homework you assigned me." He goes on to explain.

"I've laid it all out in what you have in your hands. If you're quick....we might be able to do a bit of investigating before it gets bright and we draw too much attention to ourselves."

Balthier really should have been more worried about waking Gabranth, of all people up, but any unease was impossible to detect.

"The decor in your room leaves much to be desired." Baltheir comments offhandedly. "I could offer suggestions if you'd like." And now he was only being cheeky.

It was 3 am...he really needed to tread prudently.

* * *

Far from impressed with the smugness rolling off of Ffamran, which the young man isn't even trying to hide, Noah scowls darkly. He's of half a mind to kick this overly confident and brazen idiot back from whence he came and be done with it, but he doesn't really fancy having to explain to Bunansa the Elder why his son fell out of his bedroom window.

That would just be a migraine waiting to happen.

But still, this should and will have consequences for the young Judge. Noah makes a mental note to reassert their boundaries...in the morning. Or better yet, teach Ffamran the meaning of the word first because apparently, it's not part of his vocabulary yet or if it is, he's choosing to ignore it.

And that is not going to fly. Not with Noah but not with any of the other Judges, the Senate or the Imperial family either. Especially not with the Imperial family. 

Ffamran would do well to learn some proper decorum, and fast.

For the moment, though, Noah won't grant the young man the satisfaction of having caught him off guard. Acutely aware of his state of undress, Noah hides the discomfort behind an unimpressed huff and sits up straighter before sliding his dagger back under the pillow.

He won't need that anymore...probably.

Although it might make for a nice intimidation factor, even though Ffamran seems to be immune to intimidation tactics so far. Well, two can play at this game. It is not the first time Noah finds himself unarmed and somewhat vulnerable in the presence of another person. Just because he isn't wearing his armour doesn't mean he won't appear as if he was.

"I hate to disappoint you but I don't make it a habit to conform to myths or gossip." He rasps, his voice a bit husky from sleep, leaving no doubts that he really couldn't care less despite his words.

The sheer nerve of the young man making himself comfortable _on his bed_ renders Noah speechless for a short moment, allowing Ffamran to explain why he's here. Which is probably a good thing or he would have found himself sprawling undignified in a heap on the floor within a heartbeat. As it is, Ffamran's words catch Noah's attention. The ones about something 'unbecoming' going on in Archadia, not the dig at the assignment Noah has given him (although he makes a mental note about that as well).

Only mildly distracted by the frankly ridiculously stilted way the man speaks, Noah reaches for the report his apprentice prepared - which, honestly, is a point in his favour in Noah's book as is the fact that he even managed to find his home and break into it _several floors above the ground_ despite how irritated he is with it all. 

"This had better be good."

 _'Or else'_ goes unsaid but despite his frankly concerning tendency to rush ahead against better knowledge, Noah does trust that Ffamran knows what he is doing breaking into a Judge Magister's bedroom at - a quick glance to the clock on his nightstand - 3AM in the morning.

Skimming through the actually really well-done report quickly, Noah's lips thin and his brows knit with every suspicious thing Ffamran stated and elaborated on painstakingly. Suddenly, Noah feels a little cold. This...this _looks_ like it might just be a minor thing, but his gut feeling tells him it is not. That this is something huge, potentially more so than Ffamran thought when he decided this was important enough to disturb his sleep for.

Which it was. So maybe they'd still have to talk about boundaries in the morning...but perhaps a punishment of some sort for trespassing won't be required after all.

"We're leaving in ten minutes." Noah announces curtly, mind already running a mile a minute with what their next steps should be, which angle to take in their approach...although he can't resist answering the man's damn cheek. "You're welcome to move to the chair in the corner over there if the view from here isn't to your liking."

In fact, Noah would rather prefer it if Ffamran moved off his bed and to a less private, somewhat intimate seat, but they don't have time for that.

The young man does have a point about wanting to avoid drawing attention to themselves after all.

* * *

It wasn't entirely disappointing. It was the first time Balthier had ever seen Judge Magister Gabranth not in his armour and looking normal for once. Well, as normal as someone as handsome as him can look. The sight was certainly a pleasing one, although a part of Balthier had hoped the rumours were true.

He wonders if he should remark concerning the size of his cock considering the man in question had just said he didn't conform to myths or gossip. Now that would be such a shame.

"Oh, I can assure you that it's worth this small intrusion." He says as he falls silent the moment the man starts reading his report.

This is probably the quietest Balthier has been in Gabranth's presence as he takes in the Judge Magister's room a second time. It really did need more colour....and more pictures. It was as if the man had no family, or connections to anything but his work. It has Balthier arching a brow and side eyeing his mentor.

He's the one that pushes off the bed to stand when he hears Gabranth's announcement. It has his lips curving up in excitement. "Your chair would certainly offer me a better view of you. However, I think it best I take my leave. Meet you somewhere less conspicuous if someone were to see us leave together." Balthier shrugs a little. "Not that many would be surprised if the rumours circulating about me are, in fact, true."

There were many who speculated that Balthier enjoyed sleeping around. That was far from the truth, and in fact what Balthier enjoyed more was the thrill of the chase, the flirting, rather than the bedding. It wasn't that Balthier wouldn't be inclined to, but he wasn't the type to just fall into bed with whomever's company he was currently enjoying, in spite of the impression his personality gave off.

Hazel greens eye Gabranth for a second too long.

Although, perhaps he would have made an exception if the Judge Magister wasn't so fickle with his patience, time and attitude.

Balthier makes his way back to Gabranth's open window as he pulls himself up and sits on the ledge. "I can meet you in the hover bike hangar?" He suggests. "Or out in the field adjacent to the palace. I suspect anywhere in the palace where there are eyes might also be a bad idea."

* * *

Noah has to give it to Ffamran, his suggestion does actually make a lot of sense and is one he himself probably would have made if he had been entirely awake. It is not very likely that anyone would see them leave at this time of night, but Noah can certainly agree that caution should be exercised. Less so to avoid any rumours - the entire Palace knows by now that he doesn't care if or what they are gossiping about him behind his back - although Noah has actually heard about Ffamran's alleged reputation; but more so because any Judge Magister makes enemies over the years.

Noah himself is no exception. 

And as trying (if intriguing) his short work relationship with Ffamran has been so far, Noah doesn't want him to accidentally get hurt in his hubris if one of those enemies happened to watch. That aside, Noah does allow himself a very brief moment to take the young Judge in despite the urgency of the situation. 

...it's possible, he decides. 

He could see the rumours about Ffamran being true. The Bunansa is certainly a very handsome man, even Noah can agree to that. He doesn't think Ffamran has grown into his full potential yet, but he already does fit the 'heartbreaker' bill of what people say about him. And he is a social butterfly to boot, with an infuriatingly winning manner. 

But then again, Noah knows better than to believe rumours at face value. If all the rumours about himself were true, he'd have quite a few notches on his bedpost too - and nothing could be further from the truth. Life as a public figure comes with very little freedom and a lot of attention, and Noah values the little privacy he has. Hooking up for the sake of fleeting pleasure has never been his thing, he's far more careful and picky than that. 

Besides, if he's learned one thing about his apprentice yet (or suspects, really), it's that he's a lot about self-representation with a surprisingly more serious and professional core. So perhaps, or most likely, those rumours are exaggerated. 

But those considerations are neither here nor there right now. Turning his back on Ffamran, Noah calls himself to order.

"You would be right about that." Noah agrees, already pulling clothes out of his wardrobe. Dark to better blend in with the darkness outside and bolstered in vital places to make up for the fact he does not have time to put his armour on. Besides, the clanking is a dead giveaway. "Meet me at the willow tree on the field. Less chance to be overheard if no one can sneak up on us."

Looking over his shoulder at the man in his window, Noah gives him a look.

"Be careful. Take this-" He throws a tiny earpiece in Ffamran's direction "and contact me if you think you're being followed or are in trouble."

* * *

Balthier may be watching Gabranth as he slips out of bed and heads to his wardrobe. What he doesn't expect is for the Judge Magister to toss an earpiece at him. Balthier is glad that his reflexes are good, and he manages to catch the small device, glancing in his hands at it. He picks it up between his thumb and index finger as he studies it. His lips slowly curve up at the meaning behind this, temporary he's sure, gift.

"What an honour." Balthier hums as he places the earpiece into his ear. "It seems we'll be having a longer and more colourful relationship, Judge Magister Gabranth."

He heaves himself up a little more so he can fit through Gabranth's window. Balthier balances himself on the seat of the hover bike as he glances down.

Quite the fall if he were to slip. Good thing he didn't intend to.

Balthier glances up at his mentor with a slight hum. "See you soon." He says before he disappears completely.

The ride back to the hanger is a quick one. Balthier does try to keep a low profile, but it's a little hard at this time of night and with the added fact that there are no hoverbikes in sight. If anything, he knew he could play off on his 'reputation' and use that as his cover story. He's pretty sure that people would be more inclined to believe that than Balthier actually being productive in a good way.

He makes sure the bike is in its spot before he sneaks off to wait for Gabranth at the willow tree. Balthier knew exactly which one and if anything....this could also play into his story of being infatuated with a nameless person, hence why he's out so late, hoping to get their affection.

Yes, that was a good cover story. It wasn't one that Balthier necessarily wanted to use, but he would to keep their cover.

At the sight of the tree, Balthier's lips are curving up and he doesn't hesitate to jump up to grab one of the lower branches, and heave himself up to sit there as he waits.

* * *

Noah doesn't know if he should roll his eyes at Ffamran's apparent need to have the last word - and to get subtle, inappropriate comments in - or laugh. Well, huff in amusement at least, he doesn't remember the last time he really laughed freely. 

"Get your head out of the clouds, Bunansa." he mutters as a compromise, not loud enough for the man in question to hear. Besides the fact that he took off on 'his' hover bike already, anyway.

The realisation comes as he's in the process of lacing up his boots made for stealth rather than combat, although a kick with them would definitely still hurt. In fact, the realisation comes far too late. Noah pauses, shoelaces in hand, before he curses under his breath.

_He could have left - with Ffamran - on his hover bike!_

Goddammit. It would have been easier and faster and anyone watching likely wouldn't have thought to keep an eye on this side of his quarters given how high up and inaccessible they are. 

This was what having to kick his brain into gear in the middle of the night did - nothing. 

Or rather, it's working far too slow, still feeling a little sluggish with sleep. Perhaps he should see about stopping to work late into the night and not getting enough sleep on a regular basis to prevent this frankly annoying state of mind. Except, with what Ffamran discovered and the nagging feeling that this has the potential to blow up in their faces, Noah knows he won't get the chance.

Tightening the laces with perhaps a tad too much force, Noah stands up, grabs his cloak from the rack next to the door and quietly leaves the Judge's wing.

Their designated meeting point technically isn't far and Noah knows his way around the Palace's shortcuts to save time traversing the endless dark and silent corridors - but it still takes him longer than he'd like. It's the trying not to be seen aspect that's costing him both nerves and time, but Noah's learned to listen to his instincts a long time ago.

And they are screaming at him to consider this issue carefully and from all angles. To exercise _caution_.

Which he will. He just has a feeling he'll have to look out for Ffamran too, keep him from rushing head first into something, thinking himself super smart.

Slipping out of a hidden entrance in the east wall feels oddly freeing, a deceptive thought considering he's much more visible out in the open despite his dark clothes. But still, Noah breathes a bit easier and quickens his pace, eyes fixed on the willow tree he can see in the distance. Although he does make sure to be aware of his surroundings.

It doesn't surprise Noah that Ffamran beat him there. It does please him that the young man thought to keep himself hidden up in the foliage, although he suspects that it was done for comfort rather than taking cover. Still, it worked well. If he hadn't known to look for Ffamran, he probably wouldn't have spotted him.

Noah leans against the tree trunk, aware that his silhouette wouldn't stand out against the might sky that way, at least from afar.

"So, want to tell me what exactly you meant when you said we could do 'a bit of investigating'?"

* * *

It's the rustle of clothes that alerts Balthier of Gabranth's arrival. He doesn't say anything just yet, waits for the man to take cover under the tree as he glances down from his perch on a lower wrung branch.

"The warehouses at the outskirts of old Archades." Balthier murmurs, quite aware of how loud his voice sounds with how quiet the area around the willow tree is. "If what I suspect is occurring, there will be evidence there."

Balthier shifts as he grabs the branch above him, he swings out and then lands beside Gabranth before he's straightening up to look at him. "We go by foot until we're far enough from the palace to slip into the waterways." Balthier's lips curve up. "I know a perfect place we can enter that is unguarded and virtually unknown."

It wasn't as if anyone needed to know where they'd gone to if this investigation did go to morning. Gabranth had enough authority that no one would question it....and if he brought Balthier along, well, he's sure that would also go unchallenged considering the man's disposition.

"I believe getting concrete evidence is the best way to prove that the discrepancy I found is not merely a data mistake." Balthier continues.

It's clear how invested Balthier is in this considering he hasn't made a single outlandish comment and, for once, it seemed as if he were behaving his position as fledgling Judge.

* * *

The warehouses. Noah can't say he is surprised. Given what little he read in Ffamran's report, it is the most logical place to begin their investigation. It would also explain why his apprentice thought it prudent to do this under the cover of darkness. 

Located at the edge of town between Archades and Old Archades, the warehouse district is well-guarded at all times. Or it should but might not be if shipments have gone missing recently.

"Why am I not surprised that you know of such a place?" Noah sighs but pushes himself away from his position against the tree. "We can certainly look for concrete evidence. Although I doubt there will be any if whoever's behind this is smart."

Which they probably are. If he remembers correctly, Ffamran's report stated that the first discrepancy seemingly had occurred at least six months ago. Which doesn't mean it hasn't gone on longer that this. But even if not - six months is a long time for whatever the missing raw materials were needed for developing into a headache-inducing problem for him, perhaps even into a migraine. 

Particularly the magicite.

How no one noticed a highly volatile and valuable material like magicite going missing is beyond him. Although Noah has seen a lot of things in his still rather short career as a Judge Magister leading the Intelligence Bureau. Some people will always be more willing to turn a blind eye than others, and some changes will always be more noticeable than others too.

Such as the observation that Ffamran has abandoned his somewhat flippant, charmingly provocative behaviour for the time being. He's finally acting the Judge he is supposed to be considering he does actually have the rank already despite his ongoing training. It is as reassuring and interesting to see as it seems somehow wrong.

Which is...a startling realisation. When did Noah grow so used to the distinctive way Ffamran carries himself and in only a few days no less?

Well, it is a realisation best left to be considered at a later time. It doesn't really matter, not at the moment.

"The waterways it is, then." Noah agrees to Ffamran's suggestion. "Lead the way."

* * *

Balthier nods at Gabranth as he turns from him and motions for the older man to follow. He hadn't expected the man to let him lead, but seeing as he was the one that knew where they were going, it made absolute sense to let him lead. A responsibility that Balthier would not forget anytime soon. It was also such a contrast to the other Judges and the fact that they refused to relinquish a little control and power. Gabranth had not once been upset that Balthier had discovered something new or that it was a bad idea to do this investigation.

In fact, the only thing Gabranth had been upset about was the fact that he had woken him at 3 in the morning. An irritation that had slowly diminished the moment he realised why Balthier had come to his room.

Unusual practice, Balthier knows, but waiting was not an option.

What if someone else had gotten a hold of his report? That could have been catastrophic, especially considering it was impossible to know who to trust in the palace. Even the other Judges were questionable at the best of times, at least in Balthier's perspective.

They leave the field under the cover of the dark and right into the high end neighborhoods of Archades. Balthier weaves them through varying streets, taking the long way, before he arrives to an area that looks inconspicuous if you weren't paying attention. Balthier glances around as he beelines over to it and begins to feel the stone wall for, ah ha, there it was, Balthier pushes it in and the wall smoothly opens inwards.

No sound and an astonishing sight.

Balthier turns to Gabranth and arches a brow as he motions him in first. He follows right after and makes sure to close the door behind them so no one would be the wiser. Now that they were in the waterways, Balthier lets out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

"This should lead us to the bridges. I have a way across where we should go unnoticed. I hope you're not afraid of heights, Judge Magister Gabranth. Once we clear these waterways, we'll have an enjoyable time of ourselves near the bridges."

* * *

Noah doesn't say a word as they leave the field and make their way through the quiet streets Archades' better situated citizens call their home. It is interesting what a small action like letting Ffamran lead has done to his entire body language.

Still focused, the young man carries himself with more confidence - one less rooted in how he perceives himself or wants to be perceived and more in how long a way a little validation and trust can go. It tells Noah a lot about how his former mentors must have treated Ffamran and perhaps even about his family life although that _might_ be a bit of a stretch. Either way, Noah doesn't think Ffamran is aware of how much about himself he is giving away at this moment, and he doesn't plan on bringing it up anyway.

Although he does make a mental note to teach his apprentice the risks of a too open body language and the value of manipulating it to one's advantage. As entertaining and interesting as the mostly unfiltered version of Ffamran he's getting is, the young man would definitely benefit from these lessons.

As is Noah from letting Ffamran call the shots for a while. A hidden door in the wall? Noah hates to admit it even only to himself, but he hadn't known about this entrance into the waterways. And here he was thinking he knew this city like the back of his hand by now…

Apparently not.

The entrance to Archades' waterways yawns like a black endless chasm even against the backdrop of the night. It is unsettling, uninviting. Even to a hardened warrior like Noah. 

He doesn't let it show.

The lack of lighting does present a problem though, he realises as the door closes behind them with a soft 'click'. While there is very little danger of plunging into the depths of the waterways courtesy of the geographical conditions of Archades and her frankly a bit ridiculous architecture and urban development, the danger of slipping and injuring themselves is very real. As is taking the wrong direction and getting lost down here.

"Heights won't be a problem." Noah affirms coolly. "However, I do hope you thought to bring some form of a light source as I'm assuming you've had this in mind even before you broke into my home."

* * *

It was indeed very dark.

Balthier had almost forgotten that, but his past self was quite ingenious and when he was very upset with his father, he had had a habit of coming down here.

He turns, bumping into Gabranth by accident, and then pauses as he realises that this is the first time he's touched the man...and with no armour. Balthier doesn't linger, he presses his hands against Gabranth's chest to anchor himself before he's side-stepping and walking around the man.

He goes down on all fours, feeling around before he makes a low noise of victory. Balthier pulls the flashlight he had left here and turns it on. Fantastic, it was still working.

"Let there be light." Balthier murmurs.

There was only one which revealed that Balthier never came here accompanied, always alone.

"Shall we?" Balthier hums as he motions forward, but then he's taking the lead again.

"It's a twenty-minute walk to the bridge from here but once across, it won't take us too long to get to the warehouses." Balthier comments almost unsure if he should say anything or let them continue on in silence.

Garbranth had trusted him…,and the man was still here. That was a good sign.

* * *

Noah doesn't stagger when Ffamran bumps into him, but if he hadn't been training his foothold for years, he might have. Younger though he may be, Ffamran was still very much a tall and well-toned though a bit on the slender side man and as such would have been able to make him lose his balance. Reflexively, Noah's arms come up to clasp the young man's elbows to steady him.

It is an odd moment, being this close to each other here, in this place. To be this close without warning in general. It is just a fraction of a heartbeat, really, but to Noah time temporarily slows down out of the blue and for a moment, they are just two men rather than Judge Magister and Judge Apprentice in the velvet darkness. And Ffamran feels far better than he has any right to in his personal space.

As do the hands pressed against his chest as Ffamran carefully steps around him, using him as an anchor. Rather suddenly, the random thought that he is glad to have chosen padded clothing as his partner wouldn't be able to feel his heart beat randomly crosses Noah's mind. 

An odd thought befitting an odd moment.

Listening to Ffamran rummage around behind him, Noah stays where he is. As much to avoid tripping over something as to not take Ffamran's point of reference away in case he doesn't find what he's looking for. 

It pays off - the weak flickering light of the flashlight Ffamran unearthed from _somewhere_ is not much, but the beam of light grows larger and brighter as slowly as most flashlights do, affording them at least a limited sight. Anyway, it's much better than before.

"You always come prepared, don't you, Bunansa?" Noah murmurs, trying to keep his voice down to avoid the echoes the waterways' vast emptiness is prone to produce but his approval swinging in his words. "Come on, the sun's going to rise in roughly 2 hours, maybe 3. If we want to make the best out of this we need to move now."

* * *

"Preparation is the key to success." Balthier answers as he glances over his shoulder with a slight smirk. It wasn't as if Gabranth wasn't aware of this, the man probably knew it better than him but Balthier had always made it a point to have things he may need in areas he frequently visits.

It had been a while since he'd come to the waterways but he remembers leaving these items knowing full well they would be here if he were to return.

Gabranth does have a point. They don't have all night to get to the warehouses. They needed to get there, investigate and then return, before anyone was the wiser. So, Balthier does pick up his pace. He had been down in this area enough times that he had it essentially memorized like the back of his hand.

He only slows down when he feels a breeze and the sound of the outdoors can be heard in front of them. The light of the moon illuminates their exit and Balthier eventually turns off his flashlight to clip to the belt around his waist. It was best to keep this on his person, he's sure there would be another moment where he would need it, as in when they return into these waterways.

Balthier stops when he reaches an opening with a perfect view of the bridge that leads into old Archades. There was a thick rope trailing under the bridge, one that could easily go unnoticed given its position and its colouration. Just above Balthier, there was a mechanism with handles that sat there waiting for someone to use it.

Balthier peers over the edge to what would undoubtedly be a terrible fall before he's turning around to face Gabranth. His hazel greens glance up, hoping that Gabranth will do the same before they're settling back on his mentor.

"We take this." Balthier jerks his head at the mechanism. "Across to Old Archades. It has us travelling discreetly under the bridge and in the guise of darkness, even less of a chance of being noticed."

This was not a place Balthier had ever taken anyone, much less the Judge Magister of the Intelligence Bureau. He has a feeling that after their investigation, Gabranth would seal this area off. It had been nice while it had lasted and Balthier would mourn his loss, but it was for the greater good, and that was something far more important than an interesting place he used to like to explore.

"I can go first and then you can cross right after me. The warehouses shouldn't be too much further after that." Balthier murmurs.

He's the one reaching up to grasp at the handles, testing the grip before he's wrapping them completely around to hold on tight.

* * *

Noah's lips curl up in an amused smile, secure in the knowledge that Ffamran can't see it from in front of him. _'Preparation is the key to success'_? Well, Noah certainly agrees. Ffamran is right, and it's good to see he is aware of at least some intricacies of life many of the noble houses scions usually have to learn first when they take their place in the world. But still, for a moment his young apprentice had seemed so very mature and professional but also so very eagerly hopeful, perhaps even innocent at the same time.

It was honestly kind of adorable.

So, Ffamran made it a point to always be prepared. Noted. It is another piece slotting into the puzzle that is the young man walking ahead of him. The fact that Ffamran navigates the labyrinth of the waterways with an obvious ease tells Noah a lot about what kind of mischief the man has gotten up to in his life.

No one who hasn't explored this secret world under Archades' street extensively would know where to go without hesitation. Or would have stored a flashlight at the entrance for that matter. Noah shakes his head at himself, amused with the order of facts his brain presented to him.

It is interesting how he should be much more focused on the reason for sneaking through the waterways at 4 in the morning (and he is, a part of his mind is busy with examining the information he has so far) but finds himself observing his apprentice instead.

Sudden and rude wake-up call aside, this night is getting more interesting by the minute and proves quite illuminating in catching glimpses of the real Ffamran, the man behind the public persona he presents to the world. It is fascinating and Noah is now sure that there is a lot more to the Bunansa than he let's on.

For a while, the slight echoes of their steps and the quiet gurgling of the water are the only sounds penetrating the silence. Perhaps Ffamran is unnerved by his silence, perhaps not, but Noah isn't about to make small talk just for the sake of it. And besides, as isolated as the waterways seem, sort of like an underworld, they aren't. Sound carries and there are plenty ventilation shafts connecting this place to the surface.

The last thing they need is any kind of unwanted attention or rumours about Judge Magister Gabranth and another man creeping through the waterways at night. 

Surprisingly, it doesn't take them long to reach the bridge connecting Archades to Old Archades, just as Ffamran had said. Noah doesn't say anything but in the privacy of his mind he admits that he's impressed. A little. And he makes a note to look into the accessibility of the waterways as he catches sight of the mechanism Ffamran is indicating.

This is...curious. Very useful for their purposes indeed, but Noah can't say he's at ease with the knowledge that apparently he overlooked something in his quest to make the city safer. He'll probably have to take care of this once they don't need this secret path anymore.

Stepping up next to Ffamran and into his personal space, Noah reaches up and wraps a hand around the rope. He tugs forcefully a few times, testing the hold and how stable it is, needing to make sure they wouldn't tumble into the abyss. It would be a terrible fall …

"For both our sakes I hope this hasn't been here, unused, for long enough to become brittle." Noah murmurs quietly. "I'll be right behind you. Do step away from the landing site if you don't want me to flatten you."

* * *

Balthier is loath to admit that a shiver runs down his spine the moment he feels the heat of the other man radiating behind him. A part of him wants to lean back into the man, but he refrains. It was not the time for his mind to enjoy the presence of another when that was not the reason they were currently together.

Hmmmm....

Although, he did wonder what kind of lover Gabranth made. He was far from any of the Judges he's apprenticed under and despite his constant irritation, he has never done anything to Balthier that would warrant any proper mischief. In fact, the man has challenged him and never once assumed he was inferior due to his age or his father's legacy.

Interesting, interesting.

Once again, probably not thoughts he should be having of Gabranth of all Judges.

The man's chest just behind his back was not helping his thoughts, and Balthier was annoyed with himself for being so easy to affect.

His gaze moves up to the rope that Gabranth was testing. It was a fair worry, and he didn't fault the man. In fact he expected it, it would be worrisome if the Judge Magister of Intelligence and Security, didn't check the line.

"Hmm, yes, I can assure you I haven't left it to rot." Balthier assures. "However, as for you making it over. You will have to wait until I cross before I can pass you the zip line."

And because it's been much too long of serious conversation, Balthier entertains himself. "Unless you're planning on joining me across."

A preposterous suggestion given that there wasn't enough hand room for the both of them.....well, not really. Balthier does glance over his shoulder at Gabranth pausing for a second at the fact that the man was even closer than he had anticipated. He tries to not let it affect him as his lips curl up in a challenging smirk.

* * *

Noah notices the way Ffamran stills in front of him. 

They aren't close enough to touch, but they are very close; enough so that Noah can feel the body heat radiating off of his apprentice. Perhaps this has been a mistake, he thinks as he let's his hand slide off the rope. 

Hazel eyes drop down to meet the hazel-green ones looking at him over Ffamran's shoulder. With both interest and surprise, Noah realises that while they are at eye level, Ffamran somehow seems...smaller this up close. Lankier. Betraying the fact that despite the confident, even mature (well, mostly) way he carries himself, Ffamran is still quite young and hasn't yet grown into himself fully.

The realisation gives Noah pause.

It is a strange thought and a strange moment to remember how very young Ffamran still is, even though he is considered an adult legally. Given how close they are - _close enough to raise his hand and pull Ffamran in_ , Noah's brain helpfully supplies - and how….intimate the situation seems, Noah isn't sure he likes this blurring of lines.

"I am aware of that." Noah states drily. "This won't be the first time I'm using a contraption like this, _Ffamran_."

Maybe it's a little petty, and it is definitely not advisable to call his apprentice by his given name so soon. But Ffamran's comments have become increasingly brash in the sense that Noah could detect a certain double meaning in many otherwise mostly innocent statements that it's hard to miss. And Noah is neither blind nor thick. He noticed the way Ffamran took him in earlier in his bedroom, noticed the way the young man looks at him sometimes.

Hell, Ffamran complimented him on his looks right after meeting him for the first time.

It is meant to be a subtle yet plain reminder of their status, designed to put the Bunansa in his place - yet the moment Noah's mouth forms the name he feels as if he's making a mistake.

It is just one word, but just like that, he's basically admitting to Ffamran that he's gotten to him, in a way. Even though Noah wouldn't particularly care about Ffamran's attention if they weren't in a potentially risky situation right at this moment. But they are and they don't know what's waiting for them in the warehouse and Noah needs Ffamran to focus, not be distracted by what he may mistake as attraction.

"Does this answer your question?"

* * *

It was the sound of his name that reminds Balthier of nails on a chalkboard. He's the one recoiling from Gabranth as takes the only two steps he could without pitching himself over the edge. His grip on the handlebars of the zip line tighten before he's shifting them so he can turn his body around. His brows knit together, tight, and his lips thin, showing the displeasure that Noah has brought about by uttering his name.

There were so many mixed emotions when it came to the name Ffamran. The one his father had bestowed upon him at birth and one that he hadn't minded all so much when he had been young and his father would affectionately call him to his study. However, _now_ , it was poison.

Balthier is reminded of the very few letters he's received from his father since he'd gone off on his many scientific excursions. He's reminded of the way his father was behaving every time he would come home from one. He's reminded of the fact that both of his older brothers had left the house and hadn't bothered to come for visits. The shattering of his family....and for what?

It was hard to hide the absolute agitation his legal name had pulled out of him. He's staring Gabranth dead in the eyes, grip tightening against the handles, he's not facing the exit. He doesn't have to nor does he care.

"Yes, it does." Balthier replies barely above a whisper and voice tense with..... _hurt_.

Keeping his back to Old Archades, Balthier pushes off, zipping across backwards and away from Gabranth. He hadn't wanted this morning to be marred with a sour taste in his mouth, but it couldn't be helped. Balthier could remain professional, but he now knew where he stood with his mentor and he would work within those constraints.

Balthier manages to land gracefully in spite of not being able to see. He launches the zip line back down the rope for Gabranth, but he doesn't even wait as he heads further into the waterways and away from the opening. He stops, knowing it best to not go too far, but he doesn't linger close by either. The good foundation that had slowly been building had clearly been weaker than Balthier had expected, seeing as it had all crumbled before his eyes.

* * *

Noah blinks.

This...is a more pronounced reaction than he expected. Quite a different one, too. Somehow, he had expected Ffamran to react to the subtle warning quite by doing exactly what he has been doing all this time - making thinly veiled inappropriate comments.

Not this...staggering back, dangerously close to the edge with an expression on his face as if Noah had committed the worst crime imaginable. Which he's fairly certain he didn't…or did he?

The pinched expression on Ffamran's usually good-natured, even mischievous face suggests he did. Noah frowns, wanting to say something, anything to find out just what went wrong when Ffamran's serious gaze stops him short.

The words are spoken so softly that Noah has to strain his ears to hear them, and when he does, he winces internally. Ffamran's voice sounds...seriously and alarmingly _off_ . If he didn't know better, Noah would say there was a world of _hurt_ in it, a hurt so profound that it's almost robbing Ffamran of his voice. Which would match his displeased expression - but it doesn't make sense?

Noah did only call him by his name, didn't even outright scold him.

He pauses, mind whirling. Caught up in his own thoughts, Noah still instinctively reaches out to Ffamran as he watches him pushing himself off the edge and zipping across the chasm _backwards, oh gods, please don't let him get hurt under his watch-_

Ffamran lands safely on the other side and Noah groans, relieved, hands still extended awkwardly in front of him.

"Oh, for fucks sake…" Noah sighs and lets his arms drop down to his sides. 

How the hell did things go wrong so quickly? His mind turns back to his thoughts from right before Ffamran's risky manoeuvre. 

So, his name...could that be it?

Brows knit together, Noah has to admit that it is highly likely. Nothing else makes sense. One second there was this odd tension building but an overall positive air between them, the next Ffamran couldn't get far enough away from him sporting this hurt-doe-in-the-headlights look. It had to have been something he said and in that sense, only his calling him by his name made sense.

Well, shit.

Reaching out to catch the zip line Ffamran launched back for him automatically, Noah realises that he's made a monumental blunder it seems. If he's right and this is about Ffamran's name...well. Noah himself is no stranger to issues with a name. He might have to address this at a later time...or wait for Ffamran to bring it up with him, because now is definitely not the time.

But he can make sure to avoid using the young man's given name until he knows what the fuck happened there between them.

Nodding to himself, Noah resolves to do just that before he pushes himself off the edge, too. Ffamran is nowhere to be seen on the other side but Noah spots the weak shine of the flashlight a bit further into the waterways so he hurries to catch up to him.

"Apologies." Noah murmurs after a moment's hesitation but doesn't say anything else, preferring to let Ffamran draw his own conclusions. This way, he isn't forcing the man to address what happened if he doesn't want it - but he'll know that Noah realises he made a mistake and regrets it, at least.

Curious. Noah doesn't quite remember when he apologized to anyone the last time and meant it.

* * *

Not.....what he expected, at all.

Balthier had heard Gabranth before the murmured apology, which was not something he _ever_ thought he would hear from a Judge, let alone the infamous Gabranth. It has Balthier stopping in his tracks to look at the man, or what little he could see of him in the dark and illuminated terribly by his light. He stands there, knowing he looks the fool and knowing they're wasting time, as he _scrutinizes_ the man in front of him. He was clearly learning a LOT more in this short time with Gabranth than he has with the other Judges.

He feels a little foolish for letting his emotions get the better of him. That was not fair on his mentor, especially when he didn't understand the reason why Balthier had reacted so viscerally. Name and tone.

"I prefer Balthier." He finally says. "Ffamran," he makes a face. "Doesn't suit me. Any fond meaning behind it is gone."

It was funny how far a single apology could go, even though technically Gabranth had not done anything wrong. Yes, it was the first time that he'd called Balthier by his legal name, but aside from that.....his anger on his mentor was undeserving. Balthier inhales deeply and then exhales. Trying to let go of the emotion it had invoked in him.

"Shall we? You said it yourself. We don't have much time." Balthier murmurs embarrassed at the fact that he'd shown nearly a complete stranger a very vulnerable side to himself and then asked him to call him a name that he hadn't told anyone but himself. It had been nerve-wrecking, but it had felt right. So, Balthier had held onto that feeling as he had uttered the name he knew to be him to a man that surprised him more and more each day.

* * *

Noah doesn’t react to Ffamran’s obvious surprise outwardly, but mentally, he very much wants to kick himself for having unsettled the young man so much.

He stops, deciding that this isn’t the time to be an asshole and keep walking. No, instead he lets Ffamran collect himself and process his apology because it is clear that was what stopped him short. It is an odd feeling to see him standing there so… _lost_. Confused. Vulnerable.

So very much not how he usually presents himself.

Not how Noah thought he’d ever see the young man. And he really is still young, his youth shining through in this moment. For once, Noah doesn’t find it particularly hard to read his apprentice, which is quite an experience. And one he knows he shouldn’t expect to occur again soon if at all, but it is an experience Noah stores away to examine in a quiet moment, nonetheless.

The silence stretching between them doesn't feel heavy, exactly, at least not to Noah. But it does have a sense of anticipation, nervosity even. Quietly studying Ffamran, it seems as if he's building up the nerve for someth-

_Balthier._

Oh.

Well, shit. Again.

So he was right about Ffamran's name being the issue. Noah fights to keep his face neutral even as his mind drags him back to a time he had still been known under another name before he became Gabranth. A time before he had no first name, no family association. To a time he had been someone else.

A part of him is curious what lead Ffam-...no, Balthier to this, but it is not his place to know or ask. If Balthier wanted to talk about it, he will. No, far more important is that the young man trusted him with this. Noah gets the feeling he hasn't revealed this to many people yet, and he can respect that. Appreciates it, too.

Honestly, he hadn't expected such a show of trust.

Keeping a careful eye on Balthier, Noah studies him but not obviously so. There's a fair bit of apprehension on his face, but also what seems like relief? Yes, Noah decides, it seems to fit the emotion.

"We don't." Noah agrees but doesn't make any moves to continue on their way just yet. Instead, he closes the little distance between them and clasps Balthier's shoulder lightly. "Thank you for trusting me with this. It's nice to meet you, Balthier."

Allowing his lips to twitch into what _could_ perhaps pass as the attempt of a smile, Noah gives Balthier's shoulder a squeeze and moves past him in what he thinks (hopes) is the right direction.

"Now come on, the sunrise won't wait for us."


	3. The Tragic Reveal of Famfrit's Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

Balthier, for a quick second, feels as if he must be dreaming. This can't be true. And yet, he was very much awake. He was very much in the present, and he could feel the humidity that accompanied him into the sewers.

The hand on his shoulder is warm, firm and...comforting.

Balthier hates that his mind can't catch up to his tongue, and he's mostly standing there bewildered by the easy acceptance from a man he, once again, misjudged. A terrible trait for a fledgling Judge, too.

The squeeze to his shoulder has a ragged breath escaping past barely parted lips.

_ Nice to meet you... _

And....a.... _ smile _ ? Did he manage to get the solemn-faced Gabranth to smile?!

His brain is still slow when Gabranth squeezes his shoulder a second time and then walks right past him. The warmth on his shoulder was a stark reminder that he had just been accepted and without question.

Balthier mentally kicks himself as he closes his slightly ajar mouth and then pivots on his heel to follow after Gabranth, who was walking in the right direction.

Balthier is quiet as they continue on, knowing full well that they were getting close to the exit that would finally lead them into Old Archades.

"Is this what you hide under your armour?" Balthier breaks the silence. His hazel-green gaze is fixed on Gabranth as if he's proven to be an even more complicated puzzle to assemble.

He strides forward, surpassing Gabranth as best as he can. "You were right about not conforming to myths or gossip."

There was a look of appreciation on Balthier's features that he couldn't shake off. A vibration in his core at Gabranth's acceptance. A confidence that it had brought him.

A part of Balthier wants to ask Gabranth where he put his mentor....but this was evidence that Balthier hadn't bothered looking past the rumours. He was no better than the people spreading rumours about Balthier.

* * *

Not surprisingly, Balthier is quiet following Noah's words, but he hadn't expected anything else, anyway. Having gone through a very similar experience once, Noah knows that he basically just dropped a bomb in his apprentice's lap, one Balthier needed to realise and process first and that would take time.

Which is why it comes as a surprise how fast Balthier shakes his stupor off and seemingly finds back to himself even though he is still far from his usual impertinent self. 

Noah arches a brow in question. "And what is that?"

Astounding how fast Balthier seems to have found his footing again. Or perhaps - Noah's gaze follows the man as he strides past him. No, that is perhaps a bit too much of an assessment. There is still a shadow of incredulous awe on his face, but his trademark cheekiness is definitely shining through.

Good to know.

Noah can respect the show of silent strength visible in Balthier. He may not be aware of it himself yet but if he had to wager a guess, Noah would say that Balthier Bunansa will go far one day.

Although something tells him Balthier's future might not lie with the Judges. This world,  _ his _ world, seems to be too small for a free spirit like Balthier. 

Noah looks at Balthier from the corner of his eye but doesn't answer his statement about not conforming to myths or gossip. It doesn't warrant one, in his opinion, and if his apprentice disagrees...well, he could always ask directly.

Which doesn't mean he would answer, but still. Noah much prefers the direct approach over beating around the bush. It's part of why he loathes life in the Archadian capital on more days of the year than he doesn't. 

"Once we get to the warehouse, I expect you'll follow my orders." Noah states calmly, not commenting on how Balthier seems to carry himself taller again. "You're smart and you've done a good job so far, but I expect you to trust my judgement."

'Because you don't have enough experience yet' is what Noah doesn't say, but he trusts Balthier to pick up on the hidden meaning and the fact that he doesn't mean it as a bad thing, merely an observation. The young man  _ is _ awfully smart after all.

It is rather entertaining to see him spread his wings.

* * *

Balthier crosses his arms over his chest. "That you're a lot more compassionate than you want others to know."

A lot more. More than any of the other Judges and more than many Archadians that he had the misfortune of knowing. The nobility in Archades were a rare breed, a terrible one, and one that Balthier occasionally lumped himself in. It was his upbringing that gave him his silver tongue and confidence.

Although, Balthier suspects that he would have been confident regardless, if his free-spiritedness was a birth  _ defect _ as he's sure his father would now say.

The transition back to their 'mission' does have Balthier falling silent. They would have many more days to discuss what occurred here in the waterways. It didn't have to be now, and Balthier had gotten enough of what he apparently had needed, without realising he needed it.

"Judge Magister Gabranth, please, I already have a big enough head. No need to inflate it more." He comments, lips curving up and bringing back the young man he's sure Gabranth is used to.

Balthier does sober up because he did owe Gabranth some compliancy. "Within reason, of course." Well, he tried.

However, he's sure the look in his eyes is enough for Gabranth to know that Balthier would listen to his mentor. He takes in the man again, and then he pivots and heads towards the exit. This too is a door where Balthier presses in a few sections before the stone structure gives way. It's surprisingly quiet on this side and a relief when the light of the moon enters through to illuminate both of their figures.

Balthier takes Gabranth in through his periphery, trying to be discreet and barely a second after he steps out, inhaling deeply.

He doesn't say anything because he knows they need to be quiet and now that they were out, Balthier turns off his flash light and tucks it away again. He waits for Gabranth and lets him take the lead. The man did say to follow his lead and he would, reluctantly, do it but only because he now respected him.

* * *

Compassionate? He?

Noah doesn't snort, but it's a near thing. If he ever had compassion, it's been long gone. It is kind of endearing how just a few occasions on which he treated Balthier decently seemingly made him believe in the good in Noah when all he does is cling to his sense of justice as the one thing relatively untainted from the past.

After this long, he has trouble to remember a time during which the bad didn't outweigh the good in his life and in which his brother's betrayal and his own subsequent anger and hurt didn't overshadow everything. Even though he has gotten good at not letting it dictate his day-to-day actions.

It is the moments before he falls asleep at night and the quiet hour before dawn during which he often lies awake that hold all his volatile emotions he rigorously keeps locked away otherwise. Perhaps….perhaps he's gotten so good at it that people - like Balthier - perceive him much like the person he used to be, in a way. On some days, he can almost believe it himself. That he isn't as terribly jaded as he is.

It is kind of nice in any case, this kind of naively innocent assessment of his person. Nice enough that Noah is tempted to be less harsh on Balthier, just a little. Maybe.

"It wasn't meant as a compliment, Balthier." Except that it was, kind of. "Merely an observation so don't let it get to your head."

Noah shakes his head lightly.

"For now, 'within reason' is good enough for me but don't expect that to always be the case."

Very few people in the palace would afford Balthier the same courtesy, so the sooner he learns this lesson, the better.

...he isn't doing a great job at being a little more accommodating, is he? Such a strange concept he hasn't entertained for so long. But somehow, Balthier in his youthful enthusiasm and still charmingly bright goodness makes the part of him that hasn't withered away yet want to try. Mentally, Noah shakes his head over his own behaviour.

"Just Gabranth will do." Not something he'd normally offer, and his tone makes it clear that it is a privilege that can be taken away again. But his full title is quite the mouthful, after all, and he's always been a simple man. He does command and expect respect, but Noah isn't one of those who demands his ridiculous title to be used at all times. 

Following Balthier outside, Noah takes their surroundings in. The street they're in looks vaguely familiar and less desolate than it probably does in broad daylight, but still holds the vague sense of misery and foreboding so typical of Old Archades. Turning to Balthier, Noah catches him discreetly looking at him, although not discreetly enough to escape his attention.

"I take it you know which warehouse we are looking for?" He inquires quietly.

Perhaps he should have elaborated earlier. He does expect Balthier to follow his lead when he gives orders, particularly on how to conduct the actual investigation part or if they were caught - which hopefully won't happen. But aside from that, Noah is content, even curious, to see how Balthier handles responsibility.

...and Noah didn't exactly have time to read Balthier's report in depth so he doesn't actually know if it was specified which warehouse they are looking for. He has no intention to state this out loud, but…

"You've done a decent job leading so far." Noah acknowledges. "Consider this me assessing your abilities so I know what I'll have to focus on during your apprenticeship. I'll take over if necessary in which case my earlier statement applies."

* * *

There was a lot to read and infer from this interaction alone. A lot more was visible with the light of the moon and the fact that he could distinctly discern Gabranth's facial features. Even in his continued state of disbelief at how well his mentor had taken to his new name or the fact that he'd gotten an apology at all. That was still a hard thing to fully digest in the short time since leaving the waterways.

"Too late." Balthier whispers mostly to himself but if Gabranth heard he wouldn't be too upset.

And then his mentor surprises him a third time. Balthier arches a brow when he's being invited to call Gabranth by his name rather than his full title. It has Balthier wonder once again if he were dreaming but the slight breeze around them and the distinct sounds of a mostly sleeping city reminded him of the here and now.

Balthier nods slowly before he's letting out a soft hum of affirmation at his mentor's inquiry.

The compliment about having done a fair job leading, Balthier knows that Gabranth is only saying that because his mentor had no choice but to trust Balthier when it came to navigating the waterways. He's not sure how often Imperial Judges went out to map out the unseen parts of the city. And, although Balthier quite enjoys a good compliment here and there, he wasn't quite a fool when it came to accepting them without thinking about them.

"Well then, let it be known on this day, that Mentor Gabranth has put quite a bit of faith in his prodigy." Balthier hums softly. There's a slight smirk on his lips before he's taking off in a brisk walk and weaving them through the streets. This walk is shorter, easier to navigate with natural light and the few street lamps that were functioning.

They make it past the worn neighborhoods towards an area with few structures around it. However, lined up a good distance between each one were the warehouses that Balthier had written about in his report. There were approximately three on this side, and Balthier glances around to make sure the coast was clear.

He takes Gabranth a back way, lining the first warehouse, so that they could arrive at the middle one. He heads to the back of the structure, trying to figure out if there was a back entrance that they could pry open and slip into without being noticed.

"It's this one." Balthier murmurs over his shoulder at his mentor. "How would you like to proceed?"

He did assume that at this point, Gabranth would want to take over, dictate how they broke in and how they would tackle the task of figuring out a paper trail of missing resources.

* * *

Noah does hear Balthier's quiet, somewhat disbelieving whisper but doesn't let on that he did. It is eliciting a curious feeling in him, this incredulous awe rolling off of the man, and Noah doesn't quite know what to do with it.

Was it so hard for Balthier to believe that someone would readily take him at his word and respect his wishes? 

And what does that say about the kind of past the young man has had?

Noah keeps his face schooled neutral, but he is curious and resolved to keep a closer eye on how the people around them treat his apprentice, just in case. It may have only been two days, but so far Balthier has proven himself radically different to what Noah expected based on the word about him going around in the palace. 

And in a way, he is Noah's now. His apprentice, his responsibility. Granted, Noah is aware that he isn't the most approachable superior to his people, and quiet by design, too. But he does make sure they are well taken care of while under his command. It is why despite his typically cold, aloof demeanour those who work under him work well and rarely leave.

Although interestingly enough, Noah finds it a little harder to maintain his distance and treat Balthier Bunansa like any other of his employees. It is puzzling and interesting, and above all, very confusing. And it makes Noah look forward to the coming weeks - Balthier presents a change out of the ordinary in many ways, not just because the young man somehow unearthed a conspiracy within the first 48 hours.

"Not quite sure about the prodigy yet." Noah states neutrally even though he privately agrees that Balthier has at least the potential. Nevertheless, he let's the young man have his fun. It is clear he thrives under the trust Noah is placing in him, even though it is such an inconsequential thing. Once again, Noah resolves to find out how it can be that such a bright young man can crave validation this much at such a young age.

Noah follows Balthier's lead and keeps an eye on his apprentice under the pale light of the moon, all the while keeping his senses sharp and tuned to their surroundings. This early, this part of town is so quiet that it seems almost dead, with only the sounds of the occasional stray cat or dog digging through the dumpsters disturbing the silence. 

The warehouse Balthier leads them to looms above them as a block of concentrated darkness, the light in the alley behind it even more scarce than on the street in front. Noah briefly looks at the young Judge beside him as he digs through his pockets, unearthing two pairs of thin tight gloves and caps.

"Here, put these on. We don't want to leave any traces behind to identify us with, do we?" 

Stepping closer to the small window a bit above eye level, Noah stands up on tiptoe and examines the lock in the weak light, preferring to not use their useful but far too obvious flashlight. Rummaging through his jackets pockets again, he finds his emergency set of lock picks and goes to work on the window.

A quiet 'click' announces his success a short while later and the window swings open much to Noah's satisfaction. So he was still able to do this, despite not having to use the skill for far too long.

"Shall we?" Noah looks at Balthier over his shoulder, one brow arched questioningly.

* * *

When Noah passes him gloves and a cap, Balthier takes them but then stares at them in slight distaste. He gets it; they need to maintain some discretion and both of them unfortunately stood out. Balthier sighs as he pulls the cap on over his hair and slips the gloves on. He stares at his hands for a quick second before he's glancing up when he sees Gabranth pull something from his pocket. It does have the younger of the two arching as he watches Gabranth pick the lock of the window.

Interesting.

"Are all Intelligence employees required to know how to pick a lock?" Balthier finds himself asking, curious but amused.

Looking out in the distance, Balthier can already see traces of the sun's light as it tries to peek over the horizon. It was getting closer to sunrise; they would really have to be quick if they didn't want to get caught. On top of that, Balthier wasn't entirely sure that there wasn't a skeleton crew working either. He'd have to keep his mouth shut as they looked around and made sure they weren't spotted.

Balthier moves towards the window, grips the edge, and peers over it to see if the coast is clear.

"If you hold the window, I can slip through and open the back door for you. I suspect we're not entirely alone here. I also suspect that the skeleton crew that might be working are not expecting two individuals like us to break in." Balthier hums softly. "It's best that I get caught over you. Plus, this type of behaviour is very much expected of me."

Balthier was confident enough that he'd be able to weave a convincing enough story for why he was in the warehouse. Then, he could pretend to be apologetic; hopefully Gabranth would play along and 'punish' him for his indiscretion and then they could move on with their lives.

And when Balthier meant move on, find another way that they could explore the warehouse for more information. He wasn't going to relent until he got to the bottom of this. There was something very much amiss that Balthier was getting very terrible feelings from. That didn't happen often, but they were similar feelings to when he reads some of his father's letters or the few times he's seen his parental figure after a certain out-of-town expedition.

Now, his father barely had time for him.

The reminder has Balthier's lips thinning, the only indication of some sort of displeasure whether it had to do with the mission or not, Gabranth would never know.

* * *

Noah grins with his back safely to Balthier so he can't see how his face betrays his calm disposition. "Not all, no. Most field operatives do - or at least those that are worth their salt."

Noah steps aside easily to let Balthier look his fill. It amuses him how the younger man can act so utterly sure of himself, so very professional...and then his youth gets the better of him again and his excitement shines through. It's entertaining and even somewhat endearing.

Nevertheless, Noah noticed the impending sunrise too, so as much as he'd be content to let Balthier find his footing on his first 'real' mission in this department, he would have to cut it short. Although...Balthier beats him to the punch.

Interesting.

And he does make good points, points Noah himself has already considered, too. But Balthier need not know that, and Noah won't take his satisfaction at coming up with a good plan away. There's no need for it. And besides, it's nice to not always be the asshole rebuking his underlings for their half-cooked plans. Surprisingly enough, Balthier is doing a better job than many others Noah has seen over the years.

"Do you now?" He asks, his amusement only visible in his eyes but thankfully mostly hidden in the dark. "Time is running out, so we'd best get a move on. After you, Balthier."

Noah steps up to the wall and holds the window open, then makes a small gesture at the window indicating to Balthier that he should get ready to enter. In all honesty, Noah doesn't quite like how Balthier speaks about himself, or rather how people perceive him. But he can very much respect that the young man is aware that he can use it to his advantage and does so readily.

It is a good skill to have in general but especially as a Judge and in this profession.

"It might be too early for a skeleton crew to be here yet, but best be on your guard and expect interference." Noah advises quietly. "Be careful, Balthier. No unnecessary risks. And be quick...do you need me to give you a boost?"

* * *

"No boost needed." Balthier answers as he easily lifts himself up and slides through the window as if he'd been born to break into warehouses.

It doesn't take him long to slip through, he lands quietly and then he moves to take cover behind some crates as he peers around. The place is huge. It's much bigger on the inside than what it looked on the outside. There were lights but it was dimly lit. Balthier stands there for a couple of minutes listening, wanting to make sure the coast really is clear. When he feels a little more at ease, he moves towards the back door and unlocks it.

It's his face that Gabranth sees first as he pushes it open and then smirks at his mentor. "Coast clear for now." He greets quietly.

He releases the door to let Gabranth in, and he's already moving to look around. His gaze takes in every little thing that catches his attention. There was an office higher up, looking over the warehouse, and the only way up was a set of steel stairs. The place was fairly barren besides the shipments that were clearly being stored here.

Balthier's gaze falls back on Gabranth. "Start in the office?"

If there was any paperwork that they could find that, maybe, indicated what happened to the missing shipments....or if there was a particular hidden spot that one could store  _ missing _ shipment. There were so many possibilities, and Balthier wondered if they would have enough time to properly look around. They would just have to make do with the time they had and, as promised, Balthier would let Gabranth call the shots. He'd never technically done something of this magnitude on his own. So, he was glad that he was here with someone a lot more experienced than him.

Already, he was learning a lot and being far more stimulated than he had expected.

* * *

Noah arches an eyebrow at the ease with which Balthier lifts himself up and slides through the window silently. Doesn't look like this is the first time he's doing this. Interesting.

Noah turns and leans against the wall next to the door to have a better vantage point for keeping an eye on the dim-lit back alley. But he strains his ears to pick up on a possible scuffle inside the warehouse. However, everything stays quiet.

Without knowing Balthier's status, Noah assumes that they might be in the clear - but he'll see.

The door unlocking alerts Noah, so he meets Balthier's shadowy eyes when the door cracks open. He nods at the statement, confirming his suspicion. Good. This will be much easier undisturbed.

Taking a quick look around to get the layout of their surroundings, Noah stops Balthier moving around with a hand on his elbow.

"Watch where you're going. Your footprints will be visible in dusty areas." Noah warns his apprentice. "If it can't be helped, we'll have to cover our tracks but let's stay clear of those patches."

Taking another look around, Noah nods. "Start in the office. It doesn't look as if there's much down here except for the crates."

Of course there was always the possibility that some crates had been wilfully mislabeled and thus 'disappeared' but before they went down that road, Noah hoped to find some clues in the paperwork. The steel stairs groan quietly under their weight but all in all, the warehouse is in a surprisingly good condition - if one doesn't count the too easy locks of course.

Case in point, it takes Noah not even a minute before the office door swings open before them, but he doesn't enter immediately. Looking up and into the corners of the room, Noah checks for the telltale minuscule red light giving security cameras away. But there seem to be none.

Small mercies.

"You take left, I'll take the right side. Be careful with handling the documents; leaving them not where they were or wrinkled pages could alert the owners that someone's been here."

And they don't want that. Pulling out a tiny but sufficient flashlight, Noah moves around the desk to check any documents on his side he can find keeping in mind that a hidden drawer is also a possibility.

"I only have one of these." He apologises as an afterthought. "You can use your flashlight but either keep it pointed to the floor or wrap a thin cloth around it so the shine doesn't give us away."

* * *

Balthier follows Gabranth, making sure to watch where he's stepping and trying to be even more careful as they make their way up the staircase. He stands behind his mentor as he picks the lock of the office again and examines the room for any cameras. He steps in only after Gabranth does, and he's already taking in the sight of the simple office. It really didn't have much to offer, but there were certainly more pictures on the wall.

"Cozier than your room." Balthier murmurs as he heads towards the left side of the room to work open the file cabinets.

He was a quick reader, so hopefully he'd be able to find something of use through the files they had locked in the cabinet. He starts up and makes his way down. Reading through each document and trying to be as careful as possible. It was straining work, especially considering how boring many of the reports could be.

Eventually, when he makes it to the bottom drawer, Balthier notices something odd. His brows knit as he pulls the folders forward and reaches into the cabinet, letting his gloved hand feel over a mysterious folder. One that was not filed like the others, but taped to the side of the inside of the filing cabinet.

Balthier shifts his position as he works the file free from its confines and then he makes a noise of triumph. Not too loud but loud enough for Gabranth to hear. "I believe I've found what we're looking for." He hums.

He stands, stretching a bit, before closing the drawer and moving towards his mentor.

"Hidden in the filing cabinet on the inside. Someone didn't want us finding this." Balthier comments. "A poor place to hide it, but I'll forgive them for making my job easier."

Balthier flips it open, and he's already scanning through the documents in the folder. His hazel greens fall on a name that he recognizes, and it has him going cold. His expression hardening as his eyes roam over that same name over and over again.

_ No _ .

Balthier closes the folder and tries to shake off the heavy feeling that had fallen over him. He swallows around a lump, and then offers the folder to Gabranth. "Here....maybe you should look at it." His voice comes out a little terse.

* * *

Noah grimaces internally. Of course this room which would seem more like a shoddy living room rather than an office if not for all the files seems cosier than his flat. He has never really bothered to brighten it up a bit, make it seem more like a home rather than the simple place to sleep that it was.

No, Noah arrived in Archades with only the clothes on his back and his dying mother by his side and nothing more. Now, years later he had a 'home', a job and what many would describe as a comfortable life. Objectively, Noah knows he’s come far. But the one person he would have liked to share it with, who had always loved him...wasn’t here anymore, had left him, too.

So what would he hang on the walls, put on the shelves but reminders of what he used to have and lost?

He doesn't give an answer to Balthier's offhand comment, and he doesn't let on that it roused memories that had better stayed asleep. Noah focuses on skimming what files he can find, but so far, they all seem to be in order, no hint at anything illegal going on. He's beginning to think that they aren't going to find anything when Balthier makes a soft noise of triumph next to him.

"A poor place indeed, but good for us." Noah hums as he watches Balthier flip the file open. Technically, it is his prerogative to sift through possible evidence but it's just the two of them here and besides, Balthier found it. Letting him get the first look is no sacrifice, he's earned it.

But Noah does keep a close eye on his apprentice, studying his expression for hints. He is not disappointed - Balthier's expression hardening is not lost on Noah and his gaze sharpens even though he keeps his body language open and unsuspecting.

_ What was that? _

If he didn't know better Noah would have said Balthier had seen a ghost, an unpleasant reminder of  _ something _ ....but he doesn't know better, does he? It is entirely possible he spotted something Noah isn't picking up on as he skims over the offered file. Except...this looks promising.

Rather sizable payments in small increments for unspecified services? Vague delivery details with odd working hours?

"I think we have found what we were looking for." Noah murmurs. "Here, hold the flashlight up a little so I can take some pictures."

Luckily for them, Noah thought to bring his mini camera specifically designed for field work with him. They could have used the copy machine tucked into the corner of the room, but it would leave an electronic trail. Unlikely to be detected, but this was better.

"I'd like to keep looking, but the sun's almost up by now. We need to leave, but this is a good start." Noah murmurs as he puts the desk back to rights quickly. "Good work, Balthier. Now come on, time to disappear."

Unfortunate that he doesn't have time to try to find out what spooked Balthier because something definitely doesn't seem right. Noah files it away instead, intent on getting back to it later. For now, disappearing before the workers come in for their shift takes priority, but at least they have what they came for.

* * *

Balthier's mind is racing a mile a minute. He's trying to pay attention to Gabranth. He vaguely remembers holding up a flashlight so that his mentor can take pictures of each page. He also vaguely remembers placing the folder back where he had found it so no one would suspect, or the fact that they'd left the warehouse completely.

Was he leading? No, no, he couldn't be. It was most definitely Gabranth.

Did they lock the doors before leaving? Did Balthier really have to ask? Judge Magister Garbanth knew every precautionary measure that needed to be taken so no would suspect a break in.

He does vaguely remember the window he had slipped through being shut and locked.

Balthier hyper-focuses on Gabranth's back as they weave through the streets towards their destination of the waterways.

_ Famfrit's Kiss _

Balthier wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what that was referencing and then coupled with his father's odd behaviour.

**No, no , no.**

One look at Balthier and the fact that he was so quiet was enough of an indication that something was very wrong.

* * *

Noah frowns in confusion and even a little concern.

Balthier was acting seriously off. Granted, if he hadn't gotten a good impression of the young man so far he might not have noticed and if he didn't somehow like him Noah wouldn't have cared either. But he did, and the change in Balthier is quite obvious to him.

In fact, Balthier is trying to hide it, but he seems seriously out of it at the moment. Now normally, Noah would give him a little time to collect himself, but they don't have time. They needed to disappear posthaste.

Keeping a watchful eye on his apprentice, Noah takes care of covering their tracks on their way out, taking the lead for now. Balthier did a good job for the most part, Noah was content to take it from here.

Not that he had a choice.

Thankful for the small mercy of Balthier following him out and through the still rather deserted streets, Noah tries to remember where exactly and how Balthier found and opened the hidden entrance into the waterways. It takes him two tries, but on the third, he's successful and the door swings open.

Checking for anyone watching - which is thankfully not the case - Noah ushers Balthier in and closes the entrance behind them again. The darkness envelops them, and for a moment, Noah considers asking Balthier what the hell was wrong.

It has to have something to do with what they found, nothing else makes sense. But what? What could have made such an impact on this otherwise remarkably unflappable young man? Noah frowns thoughtfully...

...but now is not the time. Not here, in a damp and dark waterway underneath the city. Not when Balthier is still far too lost in his head. No, Noah will wait and bide his time. Perhaps being patient and considerate just this once would work better than demanding answers from the stubborn young man.

It is not far back to the zip line that will take them back to Archades but once there, Noah has to break the heavy silence between them.

"Are you going to be able to cross over on your own?"

* * *

Balthier knows better than to let this bother him at a time like this. It's only Gabranth's words that pull him out of his head, especially when he realises that they're at the zip line already.

That was quick.

He glances behind him trying to figure out how he'd gotten here too, but he doesn't question his feet. Balthier does make an attempt to lighten the mood and to distract his mentor from his odd behaviour.

"Are you offering to carry me across like a damsel in distress?" Balthier questions but the tone was off and Balthier was far too distracted to remedy it.

He heaves a sigh and then shakes his head. "I can cross on my own." He finally settles on, and he's the one moving forward to reach for it. He'd crossed first, and he would be the first to return as well. It wasn't as if he were in the right mind to just leave Gabranth behind in the waterways. Although, it was in these waterways that his mentor managed to continuously destabilize his facade.

This particular moment wasn't Gabranth's fault, per se, but the information he had unearthed. How on Ivalice was he going to tell Gabranth that he suspects his father to be involved in this crime? His father would never.....well, in the past his father would never.

Right now?

Balthier's not sure what his father is capable of.....but now he was afraid....of this realisation.

He grips the handles of the zip line but instead of pushing off his head droops forward until his chin is resting on his chest. Balthier sighs once again before he's straightening up. With that, he pushes off, landing on the other side and sending the zip line back for Gabranth. This time, he lingers closer by, but far enough to give his mentor enough room to land once he made it across.

* * *

Noah quirks his lips in an amused smirk, completely despite himself. "I don't know, you tell me.  _ Are _ you a damsel in distress?"

It is a somewhat weak attempt to find back to himself on Balthier's part, it is plain as day that he's trying because he isn't alone, not because he wants to, but Noah can appreciate it. And he won't make it harder for Balthier than it needs to be.

"Alright then." Noah nods his understanding. Balthier seems listless, the energy Noah has gotten used to in his voice absent, but for the moment, he seems well enough. 

Although the constant sighs are beginning to wear on Noah. Whatever it is, it is weighing heavily on his apprentice’s mind and seeing as they are still 'on a mission' in a way, it affects not only Balthier but him too by association. Or at least Noah will keep telling himself that it's the only reason for his unusual concern.

Watching Balthier zip off, Noah frowns. They will have to have a briefing anyway when they get back to his office, so maybe…

Catching the zip line Balthier sent back for him, Noah follows after him, landing gracefully on the other side. Balthier hasn't gone far this time. Good.

"Come on, we're almost out of here. There's a hot drink waiting for both of us back in my office."

It sounds like an invite, but Noah's tone makes it clear that it's not a request. Maybe in a quiet environment he'll be able to get to the bottom of this and if not...perhaps he'll at least be able to put Balthier at ease a bit.

Although he doubts it going by how shaken Balthier still seems.

* * *

_ Is _ he a damsel in distress?

More like a man drowning in his emotions, but he supposes that in a sense that could also be considered a  _ damsel _ in distress. Not a way he'd ever describe himself, but his emotions had really gotten the better of him. When he'd first started noting his father's changes, it had taken quite a bit of coping to be able to function normally, but he'd managed. It hadn't been easy and Balthier had wished he had the embrace of a solid and strong presence at his side to alleviate some of the pain he'd been feeling,  _ is _ feeling.

When Gabranth lands and the zipline stills, Balthier can't even look him in the eye for fear of giving away the truth of what he knows. Right now, his father is only safe because Gabranth is unaware that Famfrit's Kiss is a nickname given to Dr. Cidolfus. One that Balthier had heard many times when he's spent them under the care of his father and his colleagues.

Balthier can hear the tone in his mentor's voice indicating that what he is suggesting is an order. What Gabranth would need to get used to is that even in this kind of state, orders were merely guidelines that he could follow if he wanted.

"It's been a long night. Can I not wash up and change before hot drinks?" Balthier complains tiredly, almost pathetically.

He wanted Gabranth to feel a little bad, but he's not sure if he'll achieve it. The man was impenetrable emotion-wise, but his mentor needed to remember that Balthier had not had the luxury of sleep. He'd been awake all night compiling this report and even longer when he'd suggested going to investigate. Now that they had good evidence, the least the man could do was allow him this small reprieve.

A hot shower would be nice......just standing under the spray and trying to forget exactly what he had seen on that report and how that relates to his life and his relationship. He had never wanted to be a Judge. He had done this because of his father and Balthier had  _ tried _ for him, to make him proud. He had derailed his own life for a man who couldn't even recognize him anymore.

" _ Please _ ." Balthier breathes.

He knows, cheap shot....but he couldn't sit in Gabranth's office and lie to him about what he knows. Not now. Not when he's so shaken and susceptible to the whims of his emotions, not logic.

His father wasn't completely gone....and Balthier thinks he can pull him back from whatever madness he'd fallen into. Balthier could fix whatever is going wrong, and then they wouldn't have to worry about these missing shipments. Things could go back to the way they were and if it made his father happy, Balthier would commit to being a Judge and see where that truly takes him.

The thing is....Balthier knows he's just lying to himself. Making one more excuse to keep from doing what he knows he must do.

The expression on Balthier's face is hard to decipher, but it was certainly not tired in the way he's trying to convey.

* * *

The moment of levity and banter between them doesn't last long. As expected. What is new is that Balthier can't even look Noah in the eye which is honestly quite the inconsequential thing - but so far, it has  _ never _ been an issue and the fact that this has changed has Noah both suspicious and concerned.

Which is still an emotion he's getting used to again, unused to feeling anything like this for anyone not already long dead to him.

Noah keeps a close eye on Balthier's face, following his 'suggestion' which isn't one. Ironically enough, the fact that there's the mulishness he's come to expect from Balthier under the flurry of emotions on his face sets Noah at ease as much as it irritates him.

His first instinct is to rebuke the young man, remind him that they aren't in kindergarten anymore and that Judges are expected to suck it up and function in times of personal turmoil. That if Noah could do it, Balthier could too. 

Only...that is not entirely fair.

And perhaps Noah of all people should be able to understand those times of feeling like the ground falls out from underneath one's feet. Given that he's felt like that for the longest time, still does sometimes. Particularly when the memories are especially loud and his past present in the forefront of his mind.

It is this thought that has Noah relenting. That and the desperation hidden in this one word, in Balthier actually pleading with him and the peculiar face he makes, too.

"Fine. Wash up and report to my office at 1500." Noah relents. What they have discovered is important but it is not time sensitive in the sense of life and death or anything involving the Imperial family. So far, Noah doubts that a few missing rocks could pose a risk to the Emperor, so it can certainly wait for a bit. 

Besides, it was a long night for him but even more so for Balthier, and the expression on the younger man's face does seem inherently wrong.

"...you did well today, Balthier." Noah offers after a moment of hesitation. "Get some sleep. We can go over our findings later."

When they've had the chance to unwind a little. After Balthier had the opportunity of putting his thoughts into order.

Noah is far from a kind man, very aware of the hard and jagged edges he presents to most people as he keeps them at a distance. Usually, he would never offer it, it doesn't feel right, but somehow being kind, offering Balthier an out Noah already knows he needs and will take does feel right, too. 

It is quite a paradox and one Noah isn't going to be solving anytime soon, something he'll probably need to get used to if he keeps Balthier around.


	4. Bunansa Mied the Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

Balthier did not show up at 1500. There was not a single part of him that would have allowed himself to show up at Gabranth’s office. The compliment that the Judge Magister had bestowed upon him had felt hollow, empty, at least to Balthier.

_...you did well today…_

Did he, though?

How could anyone tell him he did well with the knowledge he now had to live with? That was now irrevocably in Balthier’s mind. That conjured up a different image of a man who he respected, had respected…., _still_ respected?

He didn’t even know now! 

The only thing that Balthier could focus on was the tightness around his heart and the fog heavy in his mind. He had gone home to wash up, that had been no lie, but there had been no rest to be had.

He had gone home to an empty house. A cold house. A foreign house.

Foreign, yet so familiar. Tainted….tainted with the information he had gathered and the behaviour he had witnessed first hand.

Balthier had tried not to linger too long. He had washed up. Changed clothes and then he had left. There was no point in remaining in the Bunansa Estate when every little thing set him off. Made him question his feelings and what was clearly occurring. Or what was clear as day with the given evidence that Balthier had managed to pull up.

Evidence that only he knew it’s true meaning.

Evidence he had wished he had never uncovered. Wished that he had never pulled Judge Magister Gabranth in for the same reasons that Balthier didn’t actually want to lie to his mentor even when this was very much detrimental.

Balthier didn’t linger. He had left Bunansa Estate quickly, and he had ventured back to Old Archades. Passed through the same waterways, the same zip line, had ventured through the streets, oddly quiet streets, and stopped a good distance away from the warehouse.

He was brought back to barely 5 hours ago when he’d been there with Gabranth. He could still see the phantom figures of the both of them at the side of the middle warehouse, picking locks, climbing through windows.

Hidden from plain sight, Balthier couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He had sat there and watched the place for what felt like hours. Nothing. But he knows the truth. He had recognized his father’s nickname. Balthier knew that whatever shipments were being taken, it had to do with what was changing his father, or at least he assumes so.

1800.

1900.

2000.

Balthier’s not sure when he had let the warehouse disappear from his sight. The one thing that he did know was that it was getting dark.

Dark...

And the streets were virtually abandoned. Balthier stops as he really takes in the oddness of Old Archades’ ambiance. The lack of life.

_Fear?_

No, despair was a far more appropriate emotion and word. It was not entirely the same feeling that Balthier was experiencing especially with the implications of his involvement and discovery of vital information. However, there were similarities that Balthier could empathize with.

2100.

When Balthier left, he had already spent most of the day in Old Archades. That despair that he had felt had kept him rooted in the area. Too curious for his own good. Balthier had inevitably discovered more.... More disconcerting things. Things that he absolutely didn't want to think on or concerning their implications. Because, if this, too, had something to do with his father, Balthier has slowly started to realise that he would be powerless in saving him.

From also saving himself from his own crushing feelings.

And then there was Gabranth…..and Balthier’s own Judgeship.

More things that he didn’t want to think about. That he now loathed because of what it had brought out of him. His own morbid curiosity and his own need to prove himself while making a fool out of people who deserved it.

Except Gabranth didn’t deserve it. The man had taken him seriously the entire time, had entertained his strange ideas, hadn’t even really scolded him when he’d broken into the man’s palace residence.

Balthier felt sick.

2200.

Drinks. Alcohol had been a fantastic idea. His silver tongue and the need for attention, bad attention, not such a fantastic idea. Especially when confronted with three men just a few years older than him.

Three men who also had a few too many drinks. Three men who couldn't handle his eloquent and demeaning prose. Two men who had watched as the third man's fist made contact with Balthier's cheek which he had taken without complaint.

It had stung. It had hurt....and Balthier knew that he would be feeling that in the morning but that pain was something to focus on and so he had egged them on with a few more choice words.

At least these mens’ anger was tangible. It felt more real than the whirlwind of feelings that Balthier couldn't...., no, didn't want to process.

His mind screaming at him to leave. Not the inn but Archades.

He was going to leave. He had to leave. He had to get out and never return.

These were just a few thoughts that were continuously berating him as he stared defiantly, almost arrogantly, at the three men in front of him.

"You punch like a Dalmascan."

Oops. The man looked angrier. _Shame._

Balthier stood there gladly waiting for the next strike.

* * *

_'You punch like a Dalmascan.'_

When Balthier didn't show up at 1500, Noah hadn't been surprised. He had hoped the young man would be dutiful enough to comply with Noah's wishes, which hadn't really been that unreasonable to begin with. But considering the odd mood and only semi-aware state his apprentice had been in he can't actually say this came entirely unexpected.

It did beg the question exactly what went wrong, though. Certainly added urgency to this hunch Noah has had since Old Archades that something went terrible, irrevocably wrong. Going through the pictures of the files they took that morning, Noah found a few things that would need some looking into but nothing particularly incriminating. Nothing that stood out to him immediately. Except for one thing.

_Ffamfrit's Kiss._

It sounded odd and Noah had no idea what or who could be behind this but it had his senses tingling, telling him that this was important. Which in turn brought up the question if this was the same thing Balthier picked up on. And why his reaction had been so strong.

...did Balthier know what _Ffamfrit's Kiss_ meant?

Only just having retired to his quarters, the call of Judge Zargabaath's personal assistant came as a surprise, especially considering the time. To learn that his apprentice has had a few too many drinks and looked like he was inviting trouble at the Molberry Inn...not so much. 

_'You punch like a Dalmascan.'_

Noah moves within a split second of assessing and understanding the situation, catching the fist, aiming for Balthier's face again mid-air. He tightens his grip around the other man's fist to the point it must be bordering on painful as he steps in between the two contestants, his back to Balthier. 

Even without his imposing armour and albeit his face not being as well-known as his name is feared, a hush falls over the room as the patrons realise the subtle sense of danger he exudes. 

"Picking fights now, are we?" Noah asks drily, mostly directed at Balthier behind him even though he speaks to the three drunkards who had answered Balthier's call. "You would do well to settle your tab and leave right now."

This was solely directed at Balthier's opponents, the 'if you know what's good for you' heavily implied. The man whose fist Noah is still almost crushing in his seems like he wants to argue, but luckily for him, his companions seem to have picked up on the implied threat. Good. Noah allows himself a tiny satisfied smirk that makes a few of the closer guests gulp.

Watching them scurry off, Noah finally turns around to finally get a good look at his apprentice. And frowns, very much not impressed. Looks like one of the assholes got a hit in because that cheek sure looks like it's going to turn from red to bruised soon. And by the looks of his bloodshot, tired eyes Balthier did not actually get the sleep he claimed he needed when they separated this morning, instead choosing to drown his sorrows in alcohol.

_Exodus' balls_ , Noah did not sign up for this.

But there is nothing for it. Not with too many people witnessing his intervention with the brewing fight on Balthier's behalf. And not with his own awareness of being responsible for the young man having taken him under his wing, no matter how unwilling.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." Noah reaches out to take Balthier's arm, intending to spur Balthier into moving.

  
No impact….but Balthier had heard skin make contact with skin. Perhaps if he hadn’t for that split second closed his eyes, he would have seen Gabranth step in front of him. He would have also seen his mentor catch the punch as if he were catching a ball tossed at him. It was the silence in the bar that really alerted him of the fact that he was not alone.

The second thing had been Gabranth's scent. Unmistakable and quite distinguishable now that he's been in the man's company for the past two days.

This was incredibly unexpected. It had Balthier's mouth shutting closed as he watched everything unfold. The three men that he'd been _affectionately_ holding their attention were gone, and all Balthier was left with was the reproachful look of his mentor.

This is not at all what he wanted! How in Ultima's ascent did the man find out about his whereabouts?!

Even in Balthier's drunken state, he had considered slipping away before he had to interact with Gabranth. Except, his brain, and the way time was actually passing around him, didn't quite coincide. So, when Balthier decided on slipping away, his mentor was already reaching for him.

The action had startled him, but he managed to jerk back and away from Judge Magister Gabranth. " _No._ " Balthier had hissed. "I am perfectly fine here and in the company of my fellow Archadians."

There was that strain there, the fear of going back home. He refused. He couldn't and he wouldn't. How dare Gabranth think that he could just show up, ruin his fun, and then assume he could manhandle Balthier back to the Bunansa Estate?!

He's curled into himself as he tries to keep some distance between him and his mentor. It was probably causing a scene, but he didn't care....maybe that would be enough for the elder Judge to _leave him alone_.

Balthier's hand does come up to rub at his cheek now that the adrenaline was fading a little and he could actually feel the aching pain. He would definitely regret this in the morning, that was for sure.

* * *

Balthier jerks back from his touch and for the first time in their acquaintance Noah can feel real irritation rising in him. Was that a _hiss_? 

Noah scowls and reaches for Balthier again, this time making sure to clasp his shoulder in a firm enough grip that Balthier wouldn't be able to shake him off easily again. Aware of the many pairs of eyes watching, Noah nods to the people in silent apology or perhaps a 'don't mind us'-gesture before he turns back to Balthier. Forcefully swallowing his irritation down; it wouldn't do to lose his temper in public.

"Are you done throwing your hissy-fit?" He asks, his voice making it very clear just how unimpressed he is right now.

And here he had been under the impression that Balthier was more mature than his age would suggest. Apparently, Noah had been wrong. What a pity.

"You are most definitely not fine here and I will not stand for you making a scene, Bunansa, so cut it out." 

So far, Noah has been very lenient with his young apprentice, aware how much pressure must weigh on him having been made a Judge at such a tender age. The expectations a Judge was held to were no joke, Noah knew, but Balthier had seemed well adjusted…

Perhaps he had been too lenient, should have treated the young man more like the apprentice he was rather than an admittedly young partner. That was his first mistake, and one he'd have to remedy. Although even now, in his own annoyed state, Noah can't help but pick up on the vehemence in Balthier's voice and what looked almost suspiciously like panic in his hazel-green eyes.

That was no mere drunken stubborn reaction.

Taking Balthier's sorry state in, Noah steers him to the closest table and makes Balthier sit down. Obviously drunk and slightly unsteady on his feet, Noah wouldn't put it past him to try to disappear the moment Noah turns his back on him. And he doesn't particularly feel like chasing the man through Archades because his sense of responsibility wouldn't allow anything else.

"Would you keep an eye on him just for a minute, sir? I will be right back." He asks the patron already seated at the table. The man nods, startled to be addressed by a stranger completely out of the blue. "Thank you."

Noah meets Balthier's eyes, expression dead serious. "I am not going to ask you what is going on right now." Perhaps that will put the young Judge enough at ease that Noah will at least get him out of this establishment. "You're going to stay right here, I'm going to settle your tab now and when I come back, you have a choice. I can take you home or back to my place."

With that, Noah turns and heads to the counter where the owner is more than happy that he took care of the brewing trouble _and_ settles the bill. That taken care of, Noah doesn't waste time to pick his wayward apprentice up. Tired and irritated, he just wants to get home.

"So, what's it going to be, Balthier?"

* * *

Gabranth was right in assuming that Balthier couldn't shake him off. Then again, he hadn't even bothered trying. The moment the man's iron grip landed on his shoulder it seemed to pull any fight right out of him, almost as if Noah had the power to suck resistance out of unsuspecting civilians.

He's also far more preoccupied with rubbing at his cheek as he glares _pathetically_ at his mentor.

Balthier didn't care that Gabranth was unimpressed, the man hardly knew what was going on in his head. Although, now that he was caught....was this something that he would have to share? This has him resisting a little more, but to no avail as he's pulled from the middle of the Molberry Inn to a table off to the side. An occupied table, but he's sure right now he has no right to protest if Gabranth's tone was anything to go off of.

The thought of bolting does cross Balthier's mind. However, he's really in no state to make a clean getaway and he knows that Gabranth would be able to catch him easily. In fact, he's sure that he'd trip over his own feet considering how much he's drank.

"I don't need a babysitter!" Balthier growls at Gabranth's back as he watches his mentor head to the bar.

He's sure the man was probably just going to ignore him and so he side-eyes the man at the table who seems to arch an equally unimpressed brow at him.

_Fair._

He hasn't really been on his best behaviour and now he was just feeling shame at being caught by someone he respected. Balthier would never admit to it....but he did respect Gabranth, perhaps a fair deal too much.

The hand that wraps around his upper arm doesn't go unnoticed and Balthier embarrassingly enough stands without much resistance. Damn his traitorous drunken self!

His lips are thinned out tightly as he stares hard at the ground.

He doesn't want to go to the Bunansa Estate. That was the last place he wanted to be....

Balthier can't even hide the way his body tenses at the word home when Gabranth enunciates it. It takes him a few more minutes before he's managed to swallow around a lump in his throat. He doesn’t look up either. "...Your place..." Balthier barely gets out over a whisper. "I don't want to go back to the Bunansa Estate."

The fact that he didn't say home carried a lot of weight.

* * *

Noah arches a brow at the petulant sass Balthier is displaying but sobers the moment he actually does make a choice. Something Noah hadn't expected, mentally prepared if not eager for more of a fight.

_The Bunansa Estate_...? Not _home_?

Even as wasted as Balthier is, Noah doesn't think this choice of words was a mistake. Drunk he may be but Balthier still seemed in full command of his mental faculties (if Noah didn't count the riling other patrons up). But it is also rather difficult to miss the way the muscles under his hand tense up, telling him that _something_ is amiss here.

Actually, a lot of something’s seem to be amiss here if Noah considers the events of this morning, Balthier getting drunk and trying to pick a fight and then the whole 'home' weirdness. It doesn't add up.

Or actually it does paint a picture Noah hesitates to see for what it is because he doesn't like the implications one bit. Silently, he vows to look into the Bunansa's affairs if only to find out why a man like Balthier seemed to balk at going home. 

But until then...

"My place it is then." Noah agrees. This is most definitely not how he imagined his evening to go nor did he expect to ever have a guest overnight. And yet this is exactly what's happening, and a part of him is darkly amused by his newfound consideration for others. The by far bigger part of him feels responsible though.

Balthier had been placed with him, given into his care in a way, as his mentee. As such, Noah does feel a sense of being responsible for the young man, at least insofar that he doesn't end up sleeping under a bridge or something because it is clear Balthier won't go back to the 'Bunansa Estate'.

There's a lot to talk about and probably a lot of trying to get information out of Balthier like blood from a stone. The joy.

But Noah will do it. If this nightly escapade has shown him anything it's that he doesn't really know the young man and probably shouldn't trust him not to bolt and do something else stupid. Even though he doubts Balthier would get far - but he isn't willing to find out so he keeps his hand on the man's upper arm just in case.

"Can you walk on your own?"

* * *

"Are you asking if I can be trusted to walk on my own?" Balthier answers Gabranth with a question of his own. "I would recommend keeping me in eyesight if you're planning to let go."

He was being honest. There was a large part of him that wanted to bolt and then another part that wanted to lie on the streets and pretend that nothing mattered. Both were terrible options. It was certainly not in any way how a Judge should be behaving, _but_ Balthier had never really wanted to be a Judge in the first place.

There were so many things running through his mind and besides having an iron grip on his upper arm, the throbbing from the punch was tethering Balthier to the present.

It's quiet for a good while before Balthier finally tears his gaze from the ground so he can glance at Gabranth through his periphery. "How did you even know I was drinking?"

If Balthier were a bit more sober he would have pieced things together, but as it was, he was hardly able to think beyond focusing on getting one foot in front of the other.

"Why did you even come?" Balthier asks next because that was the question of the evening. That Gabranth had even bothered to come check up on him when it would probably do him absolutely no good.

He suspects he's going to be in a lot of trouble in the morning. There would be no getting out of the fact that he hadn't shown up for the meeting that his mentor had set up for them and now he had to come out to babysit when Balthier could have easily handled himself.

* * *

Noah snorts, this time not even bothering to conceal it. "Oh, I'll keep you in my eyesight all right. Coming to your rescue once per night is more than enough."

And oh, wasn't it? This was not how Noah imagined his evening to go. Considering the rude wake up call in the middle of the night, their little excursion to Old Archades and the duties waiting for him after their return, he hasn't had a chance to just lie down for a quick nap or even just a small break so far. 

It's showing.

There's a headache throbbing behind his temples and his body just wants to sit down and rest. As Judge Magister he is strong enough to ignore these signs and power through for a few more days, trained to fight at a level no ordinary soldier could as he is. 

But this isn't war. 

This is Archades and an unexpectedly troublesome apprentice keeping him on his toes.

The honesty with which Balthier admits that he might try to bolt still is just as unexpected, but Noah appreciates it. It has some of his irritation dwindling down and he's choosing to see this as a good sign. Why would Balthier admit as much if he didn't trust Noah, at least a little?

It's probably - hopefully - a good sign for their future teamwork. And it might make the difference for when Noah will have to broach the topic of their findings, something he suspects is directly related to this evening's events.

Still, Noah keeps his hold on Balthier, just to be safe.

"Judge Zargabaath's assistant happened to witness you sinking into your cups and alerted me. It's called contacts, you know?"

And Noah has many contacts throughout the city, on every level and in every class. Comes with the territory.

"Why shouldn't I have come?" Noah eyes Balthier, one eyebrow arched. "There are many reasons, not least of them the fact that you are my apprentice and therefore my responsibility."

Which is true enough but what really compelled him to go was the feeling that this was tied to their early morning excursion and if that was the case...well, Noah is just as much involved in this as Balthier. And he did make the choice to treat Balthier more like a partner and less like an apprentice in this instance….of course he'd look out for him. And hope to find at least some answers to their newest riddle.

But Balthier doesn't necessarily need to know that. Still, curiosity gets the better of Noah.

"Come on, this way. Want to tell me what this was all about?"

* * *

Balthier is silent when Gabranth speaks, answers his questions.

The hand around his upper arm feels less constricting and a little warmer, almost comforting, as odd as that concept sounded rolling around in Balthier's mind. And, of course Gabranth had contacts everywhere. Half of Archades probably reported to Gabranth....a much more effective method than any current technological means. Although, Balthier hardly expected Zargabaath's assistant to alert anyone of Balthier's antics. He's staring at the floor again as he lets those answers sink in, that is, until Gabranth asks him a question in return.

He keeps his head tilted down to the ground as he sways it slowly from side to side.

There were many reasons why Balthier thinks that Gabranth shouldn't have come. It would be a terrible lie to say that Balthier didn't currently appreciate it even though he knows eventually he'd have to find a way to evade unwanted questions. That, or he'd have to figure out a convincing enough lie for the way he was behaving so that Gabranth wouldn't suspect a thing.

His father.....his father wasn't completely gone yet. Balthier firmly believed that. As hurt as he is right now, he can't give up just yet. Even though the thought had crossed his mind on many occasions.

Balthier suspects this is drunken wishful thinking. These thoughts were not what had propelled him to drink, and he felt a lot drunker than he had any right to be which Balthier suspects is closely related to the fact that he's been awake for more than 24 hours at this point.

Even now though, he could still hold his liquor, no nausea and hopefully not ever.

"I have a drinking problem." Balthier answers, trying to be smooth in his lie but he's not sure if it came across as such.

* * *

Noah huffs what could pass as a laugh, amused despite himself. He hadn't expected an answer but had asked anyway on the off chance Balthier would confide in him. Not surprisingly, that isn't the case, but Noah hadn't expected to get such a flippant answer.

"Right. And I enjoy pole dancing every other Tuesday when I know none of the Judges will frequent the various establishments." Noah deadpans. 

Balthier being an alcoholic is just as plausible and likely as this, meaning there's zero chance of it. But still, if the young man wasn't as wasted as he is and likely won't remember anything come morning, Noah knows he wouldn't have made any of the comments. Too much blurring boundaries for his taste but on the other hand, Balthier is bringing out the worst in him or rather, reminds him what it means to be human and to connect to other people.

To _want_ to be human and less like the machine bent on justice and if necessary vengeance he has trained himself to be.

A dangerous game. But no one has picked up on it yet, not even Balthier.

Noah steers Balthier to one of the side doors closest to his quarters, hoping that taking the less frequented path will offer a modicum of anonymity even if someone were to roam the corridors tonight.

"Fine. Keep your secrets then." Noah relents, suspecting that he won't get anything else out of the honey-blond. "We both know if it's regarding our findings we must talk about it eventually...but I am not going to make you right now nor tell anyone. I promise."

Fishing his keys out of his pocket takes but a moment and then Noah is ushering Balthier into his domain again, the second time in under 3 days.

"Bathroom's through there." Noah points out to Balthier before he motions for him to follow him further in. "You can have either the bed or the couch." He offers, preferring to leave the choice up to Balthier.

"Don't get used to it, this is a one-time offer only." Noah leans in the door of his bedroom, his energy beginning to seriously flag now.

* * *

Balthier actually laughs at Gabranth's deadpanned answer. The thought of this man pole dancing was an image that Balthier couldn't even fathom even if he tried and he felt as if he had quite the imagination, too.

It was easy to walk around when Balthier didn't have to do any of the thinking, although he would have preferred to lean against his mentor's side and just....close his eyes. Let all his worries and problems wash away for **five** minutes. To, for one second, relinquish any control he still had on his life, even though he feels as if he'd lost it the moment he'd been forced into Judgehood.

He's glad that Gabranth doesn't push. He can hear the slight annoyance at the fact that even drunk Balthier wasn't as forthcoming with information. Hazel-greens shoot up when Gabranth says he won't tell anyone. The promise feels empty because how in Belias Inferno was Gabranth, Head of Intelligence, not going to tell anyone about his father's involvement in smuggling resources destined for Archades, bought with taxpayers’ money and meant for use within the city?

"You can't possibly think you can keep that promise?" Balthier blurts out, lips thinning and brows furrowing together.

The door out of Gabranth's residence was right behind him. He could try to leave, make an escape before he has to admit to anything.

His fists tighten at his side and he feels off-balance now that Gabranth wasn't holding onto him anymore. He wants to say something along the lines of secrets that affect the Empire....are hardly secrets worth keeping. Gabranth had no relation to Dr. Cid. There was no need to protect him and Balthier was even less of an importance even though the man deemed it his responsibility to look after him, which was almost more ridiculous than his father going _insane_.

Judge Magister Gabranth was known for his professionalism but also his distance and cold demeanor....whatever in Hashmal's just court was happening here...it had nothing to do with the fact that Gabranth actually cared for him. He cared about the information, but Balthier was no idiot. He'd been played far too many times to let this small bit of comfort disillusion him from his mentor's true motives.

"I'll take the couch." He snaps, closing his mouth and moving towards it.

Balthier sits himself down and then buries his face in his hands, body tense.

He'd wait until Gabranth slept and slip out. He was drunk but not utterly exhausted yet, despite the fact that he should be, to run off.

* * *

Noah frowns as he takes Balthier in, sitting on his couch like he wants to be anywhere but here, but also seeming so despondent and tired that even Noah's own frozen heart thaws just a little.

Whatever it is that's keeping Balthier up and his mind occupied like this, it's not just a simple thing. Slowly but surely, Noah begins to suspect that whatever is happening here is bigger than he first assumed and that for Balthier, it might just be monumental. And apparently hard to stomach if it drove him to drink.

But still, why the sudden aggression in the younger man's voice? Noah withstands the temptation to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance, trying to think back on what was said that could have prompted this change from a rather docile Balthier to this bristling one.

...okay, so maybe Noah was more tired than he thought he was. 

Not going to tell anyone? Really? That explains Balthier's unamused reaction because it doesn't make any sense. They are both aware that Noah won't be able to keep that promise no matter that he actually does want to - and that's kind of a surprise.

Somehow, Noah _does_ want Balthier to confide in him and not only due to satisfying his professional curiosity either. No, somehow he's beginning to realise that Balthier is distracting him more than he thought possible. He's a puzzle, a diamond in the rough with so many facets that Noah can only surmise what lies underneath the sparkling surface, but he wants to _find out_.

Interesting.

"...in all honesty, I would like to keep that promise." Noah finally admits tiredly. "But we both know it's not that easy. I wasn't thinking."

It's not a direct apology this time, Noah feels vaguely uncomfortable with how many times he's apologised within the last day already, but it is definitely implied. 

"So let me rephrase. I'm not blind, Balthier. Making the connection between your behaviour today and this morning's findings isn't difficult." Noah holds up a hand to forestall any interruptions. "It is obviously affecting you and I should probably take you off this case. I will if that's what you want. But it doesn't seem to affect the Imperial family directly from what I can tell so I'm willing to give you some time to deal with whatever has you so shaken."

Noah let's that sink in for a minute.

"I do expect...no, ask you to be honest with me at some point. But it doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow. As long as you will come to me when you're ready."

Which is...more than he has ever offered anyone before. It's a new, in a way unsettling kind of feeling. Noah does not understand where his leniency with Balthier is coming from except maybe that he can recognise himself - his past self - in the young man sitting on his couch in many ways. Struggling to find his place in this city of opulence and pretenses. Perhaps his being drawn to the young Judge is due to a sense of kinship…?

No, it doesn't sound quite right or is at least not the only reason. Noah's lips thin at his own confusion, then he focuses back on Balthier. Who looks somewhat defeated on the surface but is still far too tense to have settled down and accepted the offer to stay here for the night.

"I'm going to make us a night cap. Bedding is in that dresser by the window over there. You can have more comfortable clothing to sleep in in a few."

Given how Balthier seems prone to trying to escape uncomfortable situations, it is entirely possible he will be gone by the time Noah comes back from the kitchen. But if there's one thing he believes Balthier may crave even more than avoiding confrontations, it's being afforded trust and being treated like the adult he is.

And Noah can do that, or at least try.

"Any preferences about that drink? Tea, hot chocolate, milk with honey...?"

Given how much Balthier already drank, more alcohol probably wouldn't make a difference but still, that hangover is going to be awful already and Noah doesn't want to contribute to it if he can help it.

* * *

No, Gabranth wasn't listening.

Balthier is glad that his face was in his hands, that Gabranth wouldn't be able to see any of the emotions flickering across them even with his eyes closed and the room spinning around him. He really shouldn't have drank that much, but it had felt good. It had felt good to feel as if he weren't chained to the ground. It felt good to feel as if his chest had opened up and he could say whatever he wanted without consequences. The freedom of drinking had felt good because for a minute, he didn't have that more logical part of him chaining him down, and keeping him down.

When he was ready?

By the time Balthier would be ready, he'd be gone. He'd leave this godsforsaken city and never return here again. At least, as long as he could avoid any return. This was all fleeting anyway.....

Just as fleeting as his relationship with his father, it would seem. All those nights stargazing together, the stories of airships, the mechanical projects they would undertake together, the family dinners....the adventures, the stories....the feeling of acceptance....of togetherness. That had all been pulled from right under him and although he had one remaining brother....he was off doing other things with not a care for Balthier, at least that's what it felt like especially with as many drinks as he had consumed.

He knows he loves him....but everything felt so wrong. His chest was constricting again and Balthier swears that he feels that oppressive weight settle on his back and shoulders. He's thankful a third time for the way he'd sat on the couch as he feels tears sting his eyes.

Pathetic.

And in Judge Magister Gabranth's quarters, no less. Balthier would give anything for some privacy so that no one would see him this way and things wouldn't change between his mentor and him. He didn't want any look of pity when they worked together....or special treatment because the man thought him fragile.

These thoughts were just feeding his frustration and....and despair. Widening the small hole in the chest, hallowing him out.

"Tea." Balthier finally croaks.

He doesn't have the energy to leave. He wants to...but now that he was faced with getting up, with revealing to Gabranth the tears that were probably streaking his cheeks, he just couldn't bring himself to leave. Or to even move and get any of the bedding the man had informed him about.

A part of him is realising that there's an itch in his hand....one where he can drown his thoughts by taking apart engines....re-constructing them to make them better. To re-purpose the disgraceful airships that the Empire is so proud of. That's what he wants to do....at the moment that's the only thing that he feels will help him feel better.

He was in the palace after all.....

Balthier moves to stand, the world spins badly, and he tips back until his ass makes contact with the couch.

He knows he looks pathetic, so he turns onto his side and buries his face against the back of the couch as he grips at the fabric.

Pathetic....

* * *

Balthier’s voice sounds awful, the tears audible in it when he finally responds without looking up. Given that it seems he’s hiding tears behind his hands, Noah isn’t surprised. And, although he does feel somewhat awful for it, rather relieved that Balthier is trying to hide his coming undone from him.

Yes, this is more or less what Noah was trying to achieve and it’s a good sign in many ways that Balthier is letting some pressure out even though it doesn’t look like it’s willingly. But on the other hand, Noah isn’t prepared to deal with...emotions. Or his emotional apprentice. It has been so long since he last had someone to comfort or take care of that he doesn’t quite remember how to.

Basch had always been better at it being the more outgoing, open one of the two of them while Noah used to be the quieter one. Eyeing the way Balthier’s shoulders shake almost imperceptibly, Noah wonders if offering comfort would still come as easily to Basch as breathing if he were still alive, then scowls at his own thoughts.

It doesn’t matter. Basch doesn’t matter. Not anymore. He lost the right to Noah’s affection the moment he left and never looked back.

The memories rising in the back of his mind are hard to shake off but the vulnerable young man on his couch helps Noah to center himself in the here and now just by being there. Even though he brought this trip down memory lane up in the first place.

“Tea it is.”

Recognising the need to be alone in the tense lines of Balthier’s shoulders, Noah takes his time to prepare their tea. Hesitating just briefly in front of his cabinet, Noah scowls at asking himself what Basch would do but chooses a tea containing lavender, chamomile and passionflower for their anxiety and stress lowering effects, nonetheless. Balthier does seem like he might benefit from it just as much as Noah does on the rare bad nights sleep won’t come to him and the ghosts of his past keep him up.

While the tea steeps, Noah contemplates his next steps. It is clear that Balthier has reached his breaking point, and it is very likely that he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so in his presence. There is not much Noah can do about that, unwilling to let Balthier out of his sight or at least his vicinity for now. But there are a few things he can do to give Balthier his privacy.

When he returns to his living room, Balthier has curled half into the couch and Noah’s plan to leave him to his own devices, to afford him some privacy goes right out of the window. Chaos’ wings, this is going to be difficult. Years of not having to deal with more than the occasional mess of his agents, Noah feels more than just unprepared to deal with the situation.

...but he did invite Balthier into his home, aware that this might be a possibility given the man’s heavy drinking.

Noah sighs.

Okay. His own complicated feelings aside...how would Basch handle this? Or his mother? Noah ignores the surge of anger, pain and longing and focuses on what he remembers.

They’d offer comfort. Right. Kind of what he’s trying to do. But how?

Physical contact. A hug.

...no. Noah might not know Balthier very well but if there’s one thing he’s very sure of it’s that Balthier would detest to be treated like a child. And their imbalance in power given their status would easily give that impression, so he’ll have to tread carefully.

Squaring his shoulders, Noah closes the distance between them, sets their tea mugs down on the coffee table and grabs the woolen blanket thrown over the armrest to drape over Balthier’s shaking form. Again, Noah hesitates for a moment, unsure if what he’s doing is the right thing but...he sits down behind Balthier but close enough that his shoulder and arm press against Balthier’s back.

Offering warmth. Contact. Hopefully grounding, conveying that he’s not alone.

It is probably terribly awkward, but Noah feels a crippling helplessness. Is what he’s doing the right thing? Does Balthier even want someone, want _him_ , here? He doesn’t know, but he’s guessing he’ll see.

Okay, so what next?

Both Basch and his mother would probably try to talk to him if it were him in Balthier’s place. But given that he’s already promised not to make the young man talk, that is kind of out of the question and Noah isn’t exactly the best at finding comforting words. Besides, more often than not whatever one says in a situation like this feels empty to the one in need of comfort, anyway.

Taking in the fine tremors running through Balthier’s body and the white-knuckled grip he has on the fabric, Noah frowns. Perhaps...Noah reaches for the remote on the coffee table and turns the tv on, setting it to a random radio station. Volume turned down low enough that it’s just a background noise but loud enough to hide any sniffles Noah hopes it will help with setting Balthier enough at ease to let the tension flow out of him.

“It’s all right. There’s no one here to judge you.” Noah mutters awkwardly. “Only me and I’ve been where you are now before.”

* * *

Balthier can feel the couch dip and then a warm presence to his awkwardly turned back as well as a blanket being draped over his shoulders.

Great. All he needed was awkward Judge Magister Gabranth thinking he can comfort him. The man had no idea what he was dealing with and the last thing he needed was to tell the man that his father was hearing several voices in his head.

He doesn't move from his position as he tries to inhale and then exhale --and is he hearing this right?! Did Gabranth turn on the TV?!

Balthier's grip loosens a bit, and he's about to turn when he hears the man's awkward muttered words. He pulls away from the couch so he's sitting straight again as he wipes at the tears on his cheeks with the palm of his hands.

_I've been where you are now before._

Balthier's brows are knit together and he's trying to figure out how in Chaos' holy wheel, he knows what Balthier is going through?

"Except for the Judge Magister of Intelligence himself." Balthier reminds Gabranth of his title.

He does turn enough so his knees press against Gabranth's knee and his watery and red hazel-green gaze meets a set of brown. Somehow the red had brightened Balthier's eyes and although he felt shame, he knew he was human, he knew he held these emotions and he wasn't going to hide his pain now that it was out in the open.

"Have you really?" Balthier frowns. "Because you don't know the reason why I'm upset. I don't know how you can make that claim so confidently."

He wouldn't lie about being frustrated at this situation.

* * *

Tear tracks glisten on Balthier's cheeks when he turns to meet his eyes and Noah tries very hard to keep his face neutral and understanding despite the urge to hightail it out of this situation. He has _no_ idea what he's doing or how to proceed...how the hell did this happen, anyway?

Right.

Bringing Balthier back with him instead of letting him drown his sorrows in fights and alcohol was the right decision. Noah is still convinced of this much at least. But he didn't really consider the possible consequences and definitely did not factor in that he'd have to deal with a drunk and openly emotional apprentice in any way. 

Clearly an oversight on his part. But there's nothing to it now, he'll have to deal with this, preferably in a manner that doesn't put Balthier off entirely and destroys the bit of rapport they have managed to establish so far.

Noah sighs. "Right now, I am just a man, not Judge Magister Gabranth. There are no titles within these walls, Balthier."

There couldn't be. This was literally the only place in all of Archadia Noah allowed himself to be, well, himself. Noah fon Ronsenburg, the man. Not Judge Magister Gabranth, the Empire's weapon.

"I cannot claim to know why you are upset nor do I. Unless you talk to me I won't know but I will not make assumptions or force you to tell me against your will right now." Noah promises with a solemn face.

"But whatever it is," Noah instinctively raises a hand to wipe some moisture away from underneath Balthier's bright green eyes. "I mean it when I say I've been in your place. Literally, if probably not for the same reasons."

No, very likely not for the same reasons unless Balthier's brothers had turned on him without warning and his sole living parent was dying on him slowly and painfully leaving him stranded in a country not his own having to fend for himself in a cutthroat unfamiliar city.

But that is neither here nor there.

"I'm not going to go into details but sitting there like you do struggling with my emotions...I'm very familiar with that." Noah admits quietly before he decides to make good on his claim that there are no titles here between them. "I won’t lie, I am not good at offering comfort and I have no clue what I'm doing." He pauses, trying to gather his thoughts despite his tired mind. "But I'm trying or willing to, anyway. So if there's anything you need from me, tell me."

Otherwise chances were that he probably wouldn't pick up on it. Suppressing his emotions and schooling himself into the cold, detached mask the Empire required him to wear had seen to it.

* * *

Balthier swears he feels butterflies in his stomach the moment Gabranth wipes at some moisture under his eye. He feels as if the comforting touch had burned him, seared into his skin and although Balthier doesn't recoil, he does swallow around a thick lump lodged in his throat. Neither the butterflies or the lump are outcomes from his drinking and as strange as it sounds, Balthier feels more sober than he has the entire night so far.

It was clear that Gabranth was a lot more surprising than he gave him credit for. Complete honesty and even admittance that he wasn't the best at comforting.

That admittance isn't really a surprise, he half expected it.

Balthier does glance from his periphery at Gabranth as he studies him. "And here I thought you were good at everything, what a relief. You are a hume." Balthier exhales but there's a slight teasing smile even if it doesn't reach his eyes. It was difficult to keep from taking the jab even in his state, even with the pain in his heart.

His expression sombers and his shoulders hunch.

Was there anything he needed from this man?

Honestly, Balthier knew that he needed his father to stop this descent into madness, but that wasn't something that Gabranth could help him with. Balthier knows that he always found comfort in physical touch. His family had always been quite tactile, and it was something that Balthier realised he did need in his life.

He's glancing over at Gabranth again and wondering if that was something he could ask of the man. It was an odd request and probably not something that his mentor had ever received.....at least not in the recent past. It just didn't fit the bill of who Balthier had thought Judge Magister Gabranth to be.

It was refreshing.

Balthier might tell Gabranth that one day, but not now.

He makes a bit of a face as he inhales deeply, trying to mount the courage to ask....a much easier task as tipsy as he was now. "Can you hold me? Until I fall asleep? I always find listening to someone's heartbeat soothing."

Balthier's cheeks do flame at that admittance, but if Gabranth truly did want to help....that was the best method. It would be a good distraction....and he would never speak of this moment again if that's what he needed to do to make this happen.

* * *

Noah huffs a laugh at Balthier's attempt at teasing him. It is clear as day to him that the young man is just trying to deflect how vulnerable he must feel even with Noah's assurances that there's nothing to be ashamed of. But it is at least something, and engaging with him seems like a generally good idea.

"No one's perfect, least of all me." Noah denies mildly.

Was this how Balthier saw him? As _perfect_? Interesting. A thought hard to wrap his head around, but definitely interesting.

Somehow, Noah has a hunch what Balthier will ask him for even before the younger man does. But the request still comes as a surprise, and Noah stills.

...holding him? Holding Balthier?

Noah swallows, suddenly very unsure of what to say or do in this situation. He _did_ offer, yes...but he wasn't actually expecting Balthier to ask for this. Or anything really given how independent the man seemed to be and how stubborn and proud he was at the best of times.

…

But it is a simple request. Physical comfort was _easy_ where trying to offer comfort with words was not. And it required very little thought. Noah certainly wouldn’t be able to stick his foot in his mouth with this.

Turning his body a little more towards Balthier, Noah takes the younger man in. The red-rimmed, tired eyes that seemed as if they had seen far more than Balthier’s age would suggest; a noticeable change from just this morning. The way Balthier holds himself, as if he gathered his courage to ask and nervously waiting for his answer now. The pallor of his face only interrupted by a blush tinting his cheeks and the bruise developing beneath a hazel-green eye.

“Fine.” Noah sighs, too tired to care for what was proper or any boundaries. It wasn’t as if anyone would know anyway and besides, it is not an unreasonable request. “Drink your tea, I’ll find a pyjama for you. Sleeping in that won’t be comfortable no matter how fancy it looks.”  
.  
If nothing else, the tea should make sure Balthier won’t dream too much and fall asleep soon if his exhaustion doesn’t do that. And besides, he should probably drink at least some water to counteract the alcohol in his system.

Pushing his tired body up from the couch, Noah pauses and makes a split second decision.

“Come over into the other room when you’re done.” He turns to look at Balthier properly. “Neither of us got any sleep after getting back earlier so I’m liable to fall asleep on you pretty soon. No sense to sleep on a couch when there’s a perfectly fine bed next door.”

And Smjasa’s flowing cape, Noah wants very much to just fall into bed and end this long and exhausting day. He suspects he really will doze off very soon once he lies down, but if he feels like this, how much worse must it be for Balthier then?

Rummaging through his wardrobe for a pair of comfortable and soft pyjamas for Balthier, Noah triumphantly shows them to Balthier from the connecting doorway and leaves them on the dresser next to the door in the living room before getting ready himself.

The linen sheets feel cool on Noah’s skin when he slides into his bed after getting ready for the night and he sighs appreciatively. It feels entirely too good to get off his feet and spontaneously, Noah reaches for Draklor Laboratory’s newest invention - a long distance communication device Noah hasn’t really needed so far - and sends a quick message out to his staff after fiddling with it for a moment.

_Will work from home tomorrow. Don’t disturb unless absolutely necessary. G._

There, that should give them both some time to catch up on much needed sleep. And who knows what mood Balthier would be in in the morning? Noah couldn’t very well kick him out first thing after waking up. Well, technically he could, but that would defeat the entire reason for putting up with this. Namely, building trust.

Still, Noah hopes Balthier won’t let him wait too long. Half sitting up, half lying down in his pillows, a blanket pulled up above his waist, Noah can feel his body grow heavy with approaching sleep.

* * *

Balthier pauses for a second to really absorb and digest the answer that he had thought he had momentarily conjured up. Except, the sigh gave it all away. Gabranth had agreed to it and that was.....and that had Balthier feeling a lot warmer than he has in a long time, even with the alcohol.

He's nodding dumbly as he reaches for his tea so that he can sip at it. It had had time to cool down so it was much easier to consume. Balthier turns his head to follow the man's movements and then he's arching a brow at the invitation to his room. Well, it wouldn't be the first time, just the first time he was properly invited.

When Gabranth disappears, Balthier finishes his tea. He's placed it on the coffee table the moment Gabranth returns to show him the sleeping wear he could borrow. He stands just a little wobbly, as he starts unzipping himself out of his clothes. Oddly enough, Balthier does have enough sense in him to pick his things up and fold them. He sets them to the side before he moves towards the dresses to pull the soft fabric on.

Balthier wasn't really used to wearing anything to sleep. The last time he'd worn pyjamas he swears he was at least 12. He does pay a visit to the bathroom, washes his hands, stares at himself in the mirror, makes use of the bottle of mouthwash because he's positive he won't enjoy his breath come morning, and then heads to his mentor's room.

What an odd night....

Balthier was far past exhaustion at this point. He pauses at the doorway, taking Gabranth in. This was far different from when he had broken in the night before. It also felt weird that he could smell the man on the borrowed pyjamas. It was a comforting scent....and that too was a new revelation.  
.  
The young Judge clears his throat as he steps further in and then he moves to sit on the edge of Gabranth's bed, much in the same way he had the night before but this time a completely different intent.

"Any preference?" Balthier asks and almost rolls his eyes at how that may sound to someone not currently in the room.

He is shifting to pull his legs up and he's turning his body towards his mentor as he meets his gaze expectantly. As if hoping for Gabranth to also help position them.

* * *

His clothes are too big on Balthier.

It is the first thought crossing Noah’s mind when Balthier enters the bedroom, clad in _his_ pyjamas which aren’t terribly big on him but just lose enough, especially around the shoulders. Noah swallows, unsure what to make of the oddly pleased feeling accompanied by an unexpected surge of possessiveness.

_What in the…?_

Noah swallows again and ignores his traitorous mind, instead focusing on the young man again.

Balthier Bunansa certainly is a very handsome man.

A very handsome and _young_ man about to join him in bed. Noah almost wants to groan, annoyed with himself and wanting to know at which part he thought agreeing to Balthier’s request was a smart idea. He may be a very controlled man, not indulging himself very often, but he is still just a man. One who cannot remember the last time a stunning man like Balthier came to him with the intent to join him for the night, no matter that the intentions are wildly different.

Luckily, he’s also a very tired man.

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate the sight Balthier makes though. Or the strange hesitation Noah is very much unused to seeing from Balthier. It is almost adorable to see the young Judge, usually so confident and cocky, to look so unsure of himself. Almost shy.

Very unusual indeed.

Noah’s eyes track Balthier’s approach, catching on to the exhaustion dogging his every step. The bed dips underneath Balthier and for a moment Noah feels like this is a déjà-vu of the previous night. Except he can smell the faint scents of old smoke, sweat and the sharp odour of high-proof alcohol surrounding Balthier with the man’s own much more pleasant smell almost hidden underneath.

Balthier would need a shower in the morning but for now, Noah doesn’t care all that much and besides, if left to his own devices, he’s pretty sure his guest would just keel over in the shower. So better not, it’s fine.

Does he have any preferences?

Good question, but also a loaded one even though Noah knows the innuendo is not intended. Not this time, not with an obviously beyond exhausted Balthier sitting in front of him. The hesitation rolling off of Balthier in waves is as unexpected, given the request came from him, as it is refreshing. Endearing even.

It helps Noah to center himself and forget about his traitorous thoughts. There is something about the vulnerability Balthier is allowing Noah to see - and he has no doubt he wouldn’t see this side of his apprentice if he didn’t want him to see - that has him wanting to step up and provide support. Offer a shoulder - well, chest apparently - to lean on.

“Well, you did say something about listening to my heartbeat.” Noah murmurs and lifts the blanket invitingly. “So why don’t you come here and get comfortable, hm?"

* * *

It was a good thing Balthier was so tired because he doesn't catch the eyes that his mentor is giving him or the fact that the older man seems to appreciate his looks. He is hesitant, unsure, in spite of his desire to be close to someone. Gabranth's words remind him exactly of what he had admitted to when he'd asked to be held. That's right.....the man knew that he found heartbeats soothing. A reminder that a person was alive no matter the circumstances and no matter how much hurt they've endured or will have to endure.

Balthier didn't have to be told twice. He's shifting closer until he's able to lay his head down against Gabranth's chest. He wraps an arm around his mentor's waist, and then lets out a small exhale.

Already, Balthier can feel his eyes grow even heavier.

The steady rhythm of Gabranth's heart was soothing, melodic in its steadiness. He's shifting a little closer before his entire body relaxes against the other man.

This was good....this was exactly what he needed. Balthier closes his eyes, and the room stops spinning, but he also feels himself descend into sleep a lot quicker. He's not quite there, but he'll get there....once Balthier felt Gabranth's arms around him.

It was also nice, the warmth that radiated off of his mentor. Usually, Balthier liked to sleep in cooler conditions but right now this was perfect and exactly what he needs. It was what he wanted, but he's realising that he needed this....he needed to touch another person's skin to anchor him, remind him that he has every right to be hume.

Even if it was just for tonight.....

* * *

Noah watches Balthier shift closer and keeps his eyes on the honey-blond locks coming to rest above his heart, a few stray hairs tickling the skin above his sleep shirt’s neckline. Balthier’s head is heavy on his chest, but it is a surprisingly good feeling. Comforting.

Still a little odd, but Noah doesn’t care to examine on how many levels they were violating their work relationship right now. It didn’t matter, anyway. As Judge Magister, only the Emperor stood above him in rank and Noah had never cared about the other Judges’ opinions of him.

They would never hear about this instance, but if they did...well, good riddance.

Noah does tense briefly when Balthier shifts even closer, embracing him...this was entirely wrong and...nice, surprisingly so. The body wrapped around his feels warm and pliant and better than any blanket. Noah had honestly forgotten how good, how reassuring it felt to - well - _cuddle_.

Because that’s what was happening.

Exodus help him.

They were cuddling. _Noah_.

It is clear by how Balthier’s body goes slack against him that he’s already falling asleep so Noah dares to wrap his arms around the young man in turn, shifting very carefully to get a bit more comfortable. Reaching down to pull the blanket up to their shoulders, Noah lets the tension of the day fall away and relaxes into the sheets.

Listening to the slow, steady breathing of the man sleeping in his arms, it doesn’t take Noah long to fall asleep.


	5. Cuddles, Masturbation and Unfortunate Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

The bright mid-morning sunlight tickles Noah’s nose, slowly waking him up. Awareness trickles in slowly, almost lazily, but it is a much more comfortable and relaxed ascend to wakefulness than he is used to. Unsure what time it is, all he knows is that he slept in for once. Noah has no intention to complain.

The last time he got to do this was….he can’t remember.

It takes Noah longer than it should to pick up on the slow, even breaths in the bedroom’s quiet to realise that the wonderful warmth came from another person. This realisation is followed by the sudden rush of memories and Noah remembers.

Remembers the last night’s sudden wake up call, the day’s events and frustrations, the nightly episode involving his apprentice. Balthier sliding into bed and his arms for comfort.

Oh.

Cracking one eye open, Noah confirms what he already knows. Unruly honey blond locks fill his vision when he looks down his nose.

Balthier.

_Balthier._

Well.

Noah blinks tiredly, not quite awake yet and unsure why that doesn’t seem quite right. It doesn’t matter though. Balthier is still fast asleep by the looks of it so Noah stops his train of thought, preferring to focus on the here and now for once and ignore the slight grumbling of his stomach.

Food can wait a little while longer.

With how tired they had both been, Noah figures they could use more sleep. Balthier especially.

Besides, the slightly more awake part of him reminds him of how this was a bad idea and how despondent Balthier had been the night before. Well, hopefully this helped after all. He’d have to wait until the young man woke up to learn about it from him...but for once, Noah has no intention to get up or kick Balthier out. Yet.

Listening to Balthier’s breathing proves to be too soothing for him. It doesn’t take long for Noah to doze off again, content to enjoy this unexpected contact with someone for the first time in ages for the moment.

...perhaps a brunch didn’t sound terrible for later? Would Balthier enjoy that?

Noah wonders, half-awake, when the young man clinging to him would wake up.

* * *

It's an incredibly deep sleep. It's a sleep that Balthier hadn't had in a long time, but clearly his body had needed. The exhaustion of his emotions, of the fact that he hadn't slept all that much, and then all the physical tasks he'd been made to do, it had taken a toll on the young man. The alcohol had helped keep him heavy, drag him under the moment his head had made contact with Gabranth's chest.

The one thing that most people didn't know about Balthier was that he was a very still sleeper. He didn't move much when his mind succumbed to slumber.

He inhales deeply once signalling to Gabranth, if the man were awake, that he was slowly waking up. The arm around his mentor's waist flexes, tightens around him as he shifts closer without meaning to, and then he seems to settle again. Except, Balthier is awake, not completely aware as his senses focus on the steady beating of Gabranth's heart again.

The loose arm around him is comforting and Balthier just lays there, not wanting to break the spell by waking up, dislodging himself, and then having to have any awkward conversations. A drunk Balthier can get away with asking his mentor to hold him in his moment of grievances, a sober Balthier.....not so much.

Surprisingly, his head was not hurting as much as it probably should. In fact, he felt fine, good, but also a little lazy. Desperate to keep the illusion that had fallen between them going for a little longer.

Maybe if he doesn't say anything, he could have at least one more hour in Gabranth's arm and then he would properly face reality, like an adult.

He didn't care what time it is.....this was nice and Balthier knows he's not getting this again for.....who knows how long....some point in the unforeseeable future.

* * *

Being a generally light sleeper, the moment Balthier starts shifting the slightest bit indicating that he’s woken up, supported by the deep inhale Noah can both hear and feel, Noah slowly surfaces from his slumber. Awareness returns slowly. So slowly in fact that Noah has time to consider what to do before he even thinks about blinking his eyes open.

This time around, he knows what kind of situation they are in.

They. Because Balthier is still draped over him like a second blanket. Seemingly very much unwilling to let go yet if Noah is right and the young man is actually waking up.

Once again, honey blond locks swim into view when Noah cracks an eye open. It is far too bright in his bedroom; having forgotten to close the curtains last night meant allowing the sunlight to flood the room, so it takes him a moment to adjust. With his brain still somewhat sleep-addled, Noah thinks it’s nice to be able to see every tiny twitch on Balthier’s face.

It also means they won’t be able to hide the unavoidable awkwardness in the welcoming darkness once they get up. But that is a problem they can deal with when it’s time, Noah decides, and makes no move to shove the young man sleeping - or pretending to - on his chest off just yet.

It is far too comfortable for that and no one expects him anywhere today; he remembers taking care of that.

Noah can’t remember the last time he’s felt this…light, comfortable, deliciously heavy-limbed. Who would have thought coming to his apprentice’s rescue in a bar fight would lead to the most relaxation he has known in years?

This was surprisingly nice.

On a whim, Noah decides that it is far too late to worry about decorum anyway, so he might as well make the most of this and enjoy. Arms tightening around Balthier a little, Noah closes his eyes again. This time not falling asleep again but rather focusing on the feeling of another person in his arms, the warm cocoon around them, the soft sound of Balthier breathing...the hair tickling the skin under his chin.

Unbidden, his thoughts drift to a long forgotten memory of his mother telling Basch and he a children’s tale of a mouse soaking up the colours of summer and the warmth of the sun to remember and live off during winter instead of gathering provisions like the other mice. It prompts his lips to curl up in a fond smile. His mother had always told the most riveting tales...and like this one with its lesson on the soul needing nourishment too they had all been tailored to teach them something.

Well, in her memory Noah would soak this moment up, commit it to memory to think about during lonely nights...

Time passes slowly and yet too fast. Noah is sufficiently sure that Balthier has woken up a while ago but is refusing to let this moment end just as much as he is. Which is an interesting and quite unexpected tidbit of information Noah stores away carefully to be examined later.

However, as nice as it would be, they cannot spend the rest of the day in bed. There is work to be done, mysteries to solve...making sure that Balthier is none the worse for wear after the prior evening.

“How’s your head?” Noah murmurs eventually, voice still a little rough from sleep.

* * *

Balthier is aware that Gabranth has woken up. There was a change in the way the man was breathing, in the tempo of his heartbeat.

The sun streaming through the window does give off a serene and calming feeling. It's also been a while since Balthier has stayed in bed and woken up naturally, well naturally in the sense that he actually feels rested and calm. This was nice....it shouldn't be nice, but it was....and Balthier was a little disappointed that this would be the very last time. Gabranth had taken pity on him, and he understood why he would submit to Balthier's drunken whim.

Although.....

The events from the night before are re-playing in his head. The fact that Gabranth had come for him even though he really didn't have to and then taking him to his residence rather than forcing Balthier to return to the Bunansa Estate. Then.....this.

Balthier inhales, taking comfort in the fact that Gabranth had actually tightened his arm around him. That was also a nice feeling...at least he would have these memories to comfort him on the nights where his father's impending madness got too much....

Enough comfort to get him to his planned point of escape. When he would run away....he just needed to finish work on the airship he had claimed as his own, not that any of the Imperials were aware of what Balthier did at night when he snuck in to work on it.

It's Gabranth's voice that breaks Balthier's happy illusion. He turns his head up, still not moving from where he's curled against Gabranth's side, but now he can see the line of his jaw and a bit of his face.

The man really was far too good looking for his own good. "Not bad, actually." Balthier answers, voice husky with sleep. "You're incredibly comfortable for a man made of pure muscle."

He shifts his head back down, so he's not straining to meet Gabranth's gaze before letting out a soft sigh and pulling away. It was better if he were the one to shatter their illusion and bring them back to reality.

Balthier rolls so he's laying beside Gabranth and no longer on him. The warmth of the other man's skin still tingled, and Balthier is surprised with the sheer force of his disappointment.

What was wrong with him?

The last thing he should be was disappointed. The last thing he needed was to grow attached to someone when he had every intention to leave. Balthier would not stay....even if it broke his heart at the end.

* * *

Balthier is the one to pull away, surprisingly enough. Noah hadn’t expected that - he had thought he’d be the one to shatter the peace permeating the air between them, albeit admittedly reluctantly. It certainly made things easier that Balthier seemed to be aware of how unusual all of this was.

Supporting himself on his elbows, Noah sits up a little straighter but does not yet make any move to get out of bed. Instead, he’s taking Balthier in.

With his hair flattened on the side pressed against his chest all night and slight fabric creases on his skin on one side of his face, the other marred by a colourful bruise...he looks his age, for once, and entirely too charming. It might just be that he’s not wearing his very fancy elaborate clothing as usual, still clad in Noah’s too large pyjamas. Or the fact that right after sleep, his face is still mostly unguarded, his walls not yet up in full force.

Noah isn’t sure, but it is not something he ever thought he’d witness and therefore even more valuable.

Not thinking long about it, Noah stores the image away like the hidden gem it is. To remember when Balthier will inevitably drive him up the wall in the future...but also because it is just that endearing. Something Noah refuses to dwell on, aware that the implications wouldn’t be to his liking.

“Surprising given your state last night, but good.” Noah hums and clears his throat when his voice cracks embarrassingly. The offhanded compliment is nice but entirely unexpected and leaves him not knowing how to react. “You aren’t half bad as an oversized plushie either.”

Only after the last word does Noah realise how stupid he must sound, but it is too late to take it back. So he does the next best thing, schooling his face to not give away how unsettled and yet completely at ease he feels in their current situation.

“You should probably make sure to eat a hearty breakfast anyway, just to be sure.”

* * *

  
Balthier is carefully rubbing at his cheek, flinching when it hurts. This was not going to be fun to deal with, but luckily Balthier wasn't too upset about it. He would just have to be careful to not press his hand against it when working on any reports or paperwork.

Gabranth's comment does have Balthier arching a brow, and then he's turning his head to glance up at his mentor. His lips curving up. "That so? You sleep with a plushie often?" There was that teasing lilt again.

A part of Balthier wanted to turn onto his side, wrap his arms around Gabranth, and press his face into his chest again. To be close, to tease in the way he was most familiar but never got to partake in so much anymore. They'd already blurred boundaries, not that Balthier was any good at boundaries to begin with. He knew they existed, but seeing as he was hoping to burn the bridges of Judgehood, ignoring them worked wonders.

He resists.

Balthier knows that what is going on here isn't him trying to burn a bridge but something far more powerful....and detrimental to the both of them. It wouldn't do good to try to pursue something when neither of them wanted the same thing at the end of the day.

"Are you inviting me for breakfast?" Balthier asks, sounding almost shy at this point, as if he wasn't sure what the man's intention was in mentioning breakfast.

He's not even sure why he feels shy all of a sudden when shyness was never something that he'd ever attributed with himself! Except....all of this was vulnerable. He didn't have the wall of drunkenness to shield his actions or help him hide himself from his mentor. A man that seemed to slip between his defences....without much effort. It made sense why he was the head of Intelligence...there was something disarming about him in spite of the fact that he's sure the man could take out most if not all opponents in a fight.

Balthier can feel the tip of his ears heat up and he's rolling onto his side, turning his back to Gabranth. "In fact, it's probably best for me to go....."

* * *

  
Noah arches an eyebrow, secretly amused but not about to show it to his guest. Of course Balthier would pick up on that and start the infernal teasing again. "Not usually, no. I prefer just my blanket, it's usually not trying to smother me while I sleep."

The fact that Balthier seems entirely too comfortable in his bed isn't lost on Noah, but he isn't sure what to make of it. If he didn't know better, he'd feel caught up in a whirlwind romance with how everything is happening so fast with Balthier. It seems ludicrous that it's only been 3 days since Noah walked into his office to find Balthier lounging in his chair as if it was _his_ office, not Noah's. 

A concept somehow hard to grasp. As is the simple and yet so complicated concept of time, which doesn't seem to apply to Balthier. The young man has his own gravitas, a magnetic field around him that draws people, _Noah_ , into his orbit. Rendering him unable to leave.

It is both marvellous and worrying, and Noah isn't too keen on examining this whole strange process. There could never be anything between them anyway, not as long as they were both members of the judiciary at least and that little, seemingly unimportant yet monumental fact wasn't about to change anytime soon.

Noah's brows knit together, remembering this fact. No matter his odd beginning infatuation with Balthier Bunansa - because that is what it is, he realises - it couldn't be. It doesn't matter how much he'd like it if Balthier turned around and slid closer again. 

But this unusually shy side Balthier is allowing him to see...it is utterly and infuriatingly so charming, disarming even. Ultima help him, this was the last thing he needed.

"I'm afraid any breakfast I provided wouldn't be very elaborate but the kiosk two floors down offers good breakfast."

Maybe Noah should take Balthier up on his comment; he probably should leave, for both their sakes. But this not waking up alone thing is quite nice, as is the company...and Noah doesn't want Balthier to leave yet.

His own weak will and inability to resist Balthier infuriates him, leaving a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. Years of fighting to get where he is, of creating a place for himself he can exist in despite his hurt and anger at the world and one young Judge comes around turning it all upside down?

Noah grits his teeth, calling himself to order.

"It probably is…" Noah mutters, still not moving from his seat and trying to ignore what an appealing picture Balthier presents laid out like this in his bed. "But you probably should take a shower first, wash last night off."

Which...true. But also, _what_?!

Noah wants to groan. If he was a less controlled man he would, at his own stupidity and saying first one thing then the other. But he is, and he doesn't even though he feels like the biggest idiot on all of Archades. Something Balthier hopefully won't pick up on.

So much about re-establishing boundaries...

* * *

  
_Wash last night off?_

Balthier knows Gabranth means the drinking, but the double entendre in that alone has him arching a brow. One that Gabranth could luckily not see, but the idea is certainly an appealing one. Balthier could imagine himself under Gabranth and he can imagine how each touch would feel if he let his mentor explore, enjoy at his own leisure.

Although, Gabranth telling him to shower, stalling his leave....that was a good sign, right?

Balthier will take it as so because he knows the stories that have circulated about this man and this display was very unusual. That, or it was clear no one had bothered to properly get to know Gabranth. His reputation, as daunting as it is, keeps people from getting close. It was both good and bad that Balthier hadn't let it stop him.

His own plan was proving to be a lot more complicated than he intended.

Balthier moves to sit up and then he's turning to face Gabranth, openly curious.

He still looked as mussed up as when he had woken and even the softness of his features remained as if he were okay keeping his walls down for now.....as long as they were in between these walls with no other prying eyes. A huge sign of respect.

"Are...towels in the bathroom?" Balthier asks.

He's keeping himself from asking if the man would show them where they are.....if Gabranth got up with him....would he be able to keep to himself? Hold to his resolve and not touch?

Balthier's not so sure anymore.

* * *

  
Noah meets Balthier's curious gaze, looking collected, even a bit unimpressed outwardly while he kicks himself mentally for even suggesting such a thing as a _shower_. By the gods, what was he even thinking?

This has 'disaster' written all over it and yet, Noah finds it difficult to take the offer back and is more than a little reluctant to deny those hazel greens anything. Especially when Balthier, seemingly eternally hidden behind his carefully cultivated persona, has visibly taken most of his walls down.

Which is quite marvellous to witness if Noah is honest but also dangerous for him. He’s already drawn to Balthier as he is, this open sign of trust and perhaps even respect is...almost too much to handle. Definitely something Noah hasn’t been afforded since arriving in Archades except for the Emperor, interestingly enough, and the young Lord Larsa on the rare occasions he’s met the boy.

Not something Noah particularly wants to think about while he has a young, handsome and entirely too enticing man in his bed though.

...still such a novel concept. A large part of Noah just wants to give in to this, see where it - whatever it is - takes them, but he hesitates. It’s been such a long time since he’s let his guard down, even just a little. Technically, he already did with Balthier, at least in increments, but if what he can feel building between them is what he thinks it is...it would require a lot more opening up on his part.

And he isn’t sure he can offer that even if he wanted to.

Too long hatred and revenge have dictated his every step, the path he takes, the decisions he makes…

Perhaps it is about time he lets a few more positive feelings in again, to bring a little light into his darkness, turn the night into twilight in his soul. But can he..?

“In the cabinet under the sink, yes. Help yourself to whatever you need.” Noah hears himself say after a short pause.

Maybe he doesn’t have to figure it all out right now. But Balthier is here and showing his softer side to him which Noah can definitely appreciate - the least he can do is bring what he started last night with inviting the young Judge to his place to an end.

Feeling at a loss for words, unsure what to say faced with Balthier’s obvious openness and curiosity, Noah opts for relaxing his shoulders a little and adopting a more open posture. It’s not much, but all he feels comfortable with right now.

“...do you need a set of fresh clothes too?”

* * *

  
_Fresh clothes....Garbanth's clothes...._

The thought of walking through the palace in his mentor's clothes seems to do two things. 1) Exhilarate Balthier in a way that he really shouldn't be feeling. This was his mentor, and they'd only really known each other for three days. 2) Reminds him of how much gossip would start from that alone. Gabranth wouldn't hear the end of it, and he's not sure the man really wants such rumours flying around when they weren't true. Although, a nice fantasy. 

Balthier hates that he can feel a shiver run down his spine at the reminder of his mentor's strong arms around him. 

Those thoughts really did have to stop. 

Balthier stands, clearing his throat a bit. The tip of his ears heating up again because he does want to wear them, he wants to breathe in the scent of Gabranth all the way home....and _gods_ now he sounded like a prepubescent teenager. He feels disgusted with himself..... 

But looking at the blond man laying, propped up on his hand, across the bed.... 

It has Balthier turning to make his way to the door of the room and stopping. "I'll wear my own. No need for you to get mixed up in gossip about me." 

Gabranth had a clean slate....Balthier, not so much. 

His hand comes up to rest on the door frame as he stands there, head bowed a bit as he thinks. Eventually, he turns back around so he can take Gabranth in before his gaze falls to the ground. His cheeks are heating up further and there's a noticeable blush. 

"Thank you...." Balthier murmurs. "For letting me stay....not prying, and least of all not judging me." 

There was a lot more he should be thanking Gabranth for, but this would do for now. The sincerity in Balthier's voice would be hard to miss, and it wasn't a tone that anyone except maybe his close relatives have heard from him. 

The moment he's uttered those words, Balthier turns back around and makes a beeline for the bathroom.

* * *

  
Noah feels the thrill of… _something_ at Balthier’s reaction to his offer. Something about it must have struck a chord in him and Noah can certainly venture a guess, but...he doesn’t want to get too far ahead of himself yet. The slightly awestruck look that crosses Balthier's features though, that is something he didn't expect to ever see and it's amusing him quite a bit. 

Is that...is that a blush Noah can spot tinting Balthier's ears a lovely shade of red? Noah isn't quite sure what to make of the pleasure of seeing the usually so cocksure Balthier _blush_ because of - him? Surely not? 

But what else could it be? 

Noah feels his neck heat up in response, flustered by his own damn thoughts. This was why he hadn't entertained anything for longer than a few hours, a night at most for the longest time. This...insecurity, the intricacies of social and intimate interactions could be daunting, so difficult to navigate. 

At Balthier's declaration, Noah feels a disappointment settle in his chest. Why, he doesn't want to think about it, but it would have been nice to see Balthier wear _his_ clothes in public. If he's honest, Noah wanted it even. 

"Do I look like I care about gossip, Balthier?" Noah arches an unimpressed eyebrow. "I've stopped caring a long time ago, and that isn't a lot of 'fun' for people. They've learned to just leave me be." 

Well, that because gossiping about someone who obviously didn't care or react wasn't much fun and because he did pay the lead gossips a visit right in the beginning. He's had his peace ever since. Balthier wearing his clothes might stir them up a bit, but these days, only the truly daring ones dared to cross him anymore so Noah isn't worried.

“So if you want fresh clothes, wear fresh clothes. It's as simple as that." Noah declares, then falls silent, stunned. 

A thank you? And such a sincere one to Noah can feel his cheeks burn, hoping he isn't actually blushing. There is so much in these few words, a world of things Balthier just unwittingly revealed to him but also such open appreciation...it's rendering Noah speechless for a moment. 

"You're welcome…" 

It feels insufficient somehow, simply uttering these words, but Noah means them, really means them. It's just that he's much better at reading someone their rights or getting the information he wants out of someone rather than socialising. So being openly sincere like this...doesn't come easy to him. 

Watching Balthier's retreating back, Noah let's himself sink back into the cushions, one arm thrown over his eyes for a moment. _'What the hell am I doing?'_ The million Gil question. It is clear there is the potential for something between them. It's obvious in every interaction, every accidental contact between them. 

The question is: does he want to pursue it? Pursue Balthier? 

Noah's brows knit together, deep in thought. Yes. Well, maybe? Yes? Noah groans. Why was this such a complicated question? Yes, he does want to see where this takes them _if_ Balthier is on the same page as he but what would be the cost? 

Even for Noah, as used to calculating risks as he is, it is impossible to foresee what this would entail. And that's leaving him unsure. 

...but he is getting ahead of himself. It's not just his wishes that count here, it's Balthier's as well. And the young man seems to be in a very vulnerable place right now. Definitely something to watch out for lest Noah accidentally takes advantage of him. 

"Zalhera have mercy on me." Noah mutters, feeling emotionally exhausted despite just having woken up.

* * *

Balthier closes the door and clicks the lock into place. If this had been at the Bunansa Estate, Balthier wouldn't have ever thought about locking it. It wasn't as if he wanted to keep anyone out. It was more that he wanted to keep himself in and to avoid doing anything that he would regret or that would ruin this relationship. It was fine as it is....they were work colleagues, essentially. A professional relationship between them made sense, especially considering what being a Judge would entail as he went further into this career (if he went further). 

Although, currently, the thought of leaving and never getting to see Gabranth was oddly....difficult. It shouldn't be. He'd only properly known the man for three days, but....he couldn't imagine not being able to interact with him in some sort of capacity. 

Another novel thought... 

What was happening to Balthier? That he would so easily pause his plans to run away, to become a sky pirate for his....his mentor. 

Balthier pushes away from the door he hadn't realised he had been leaning back against and grabs a fresh towel from under the sink. He hangs it near the shower before he pauses to stare at himself in the mirror. He makes a face at the discolouration around his cheek and jaw from the punch to his face last night. He's careful as he gently traces the offending area with his finger. 

"A mark of my drunken hubris." Balthier murmurs as he inhales deeply and then shakes his head. 

He pulls away from the mirror to start undressing. He's careful with Gabranth’s clothes as he folds them and sets them on the lidded toilet before he's stepping into the shower. He closes the glass door and glances around the spacious and stone laid shower. It was exactly what he expected from the palace and from the abode of a Judge Magister. 

Nothing more or less. 

Balthier turns the water on and cranks it so it's decently hot as he lets it cascade over him, wetting his hair, and relaxing his muscles.

It pulls a pleased sigh from his lips as he just stands there, eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the memories of last night being washed away. 

Well, not completely. 

Balthier is reminded of the warm body next to his own, the strong arm around his waist, the sound of a steady heartbeat accompanied by steady breathing. These thoughts cause him to swallow around a lump in the back of his throat. His entire body tensing as he feels heat pool into his groin and his cock twitch to life. 

What doesn't help is the unique fragrance of Gabranth, it was almost indescribable but unique to his mentor. Pleasant to the nose and distinctive.

Balthier shuffles forward as he brings a hand out to press against the cool stone lining the shower. He braces himself as he slides his free hand down his wet stomach to take hold of his flagging cock. He grips the base letting out a soft shuttered huff as he squeezes around it a little more and then he's fisting it properly and slowly starting to stroke himself to full hardness. 

It doesn't take long. 

No. 

Not with Gabranth on his mind and in the next room, he can imagine. Thoughts of what this Judge Magister could do to him circulating in his head as he starts to stroke himself a little faster. His thumb pressing over the head of his cock every time he flicks his wrist up. 

Balthier pauses for a second to lean forward, press his forehead against the warming wall as he bites on his lip the moment he continues to stroke himself. 

The thought of being pressed down onto Gabranth's bed by the bigger man has Balthier muffling a moan. 

Shit. He needed to be quiet. 

His hand starts to stroke faster, and the hand splayed against the wall starts to curl inwards until he has it fisted against the wall.

There's almost a static noise in his head as he keeps going, the pleasure building in the pit of his stomach, tightening, almost knocking the air out of his lungs, just before he tenses.

Balthier flicks his wrist one last time and then he shudders, gasping for air, as that coil unravels giving way to pleasure. 

He reminds himself to be quiet as he milks himself dry before he's pulling away from the shower wall, cheeks red, and panting slowly. 

There is luckily no shame. Balthier was very much aware that Gabranth was an incredibly handsome man. The talk around the palace was about his good looks and as much as Gabranth probably didn't pay attention, it wasn't the first time he had been named hottest judge in Archadia. 

The tabloids did have fun spinning strange stories or creating polls that would distract the citizens from the real issues going around the Empire. 

Balthier takes a few more seconds to compose himself before he's washing his hands off with soap and then proceeding to quickly wash himself clean. The scent of the man's body wash was familiar and Balthier almost wants to groan at the almost reaction he gets from the scent alone. 

If he got hard from smelling Gabranth alone....Balthier would be _angry_. 

He stands in the water’s spray for a little longer before he shuts it, feeling safe to get out, and grabs the towel he had left nearby. Balthier takes his time drying himself off before he steps out, and then......doesn't spot his clothes. 

Of course. 

On the day he jacked off in Judge Magister Gabranth's shower, he did have to forget his clothes in the living room. 

Gods strike him down. Ultima bless his tainted soul! Exodus judge his foul thoughts! Belias burn him in an inferno! 

Balthier's eyes close as he inhales deeply and then he wraps the towel around his waist, ties the knot as tight as he can, and then moves towards the door. He can't help but press his head against it as he curses himself a little more. 

It's the click of the lock that announces Balthier to the room. The door creaks open and Balthier pokes his head out, glancing around.

The coast seems clear and so he ducks his head and heads straight to where he thinks he's left his clothes. If he were quick about it, he'd hopefully not run into Gabranth and he could play all of this off as being fine. 

Even though it wasn't fine. It wasn't fine because Balthier was finding it difficult to turn off his brain, although this was certainly a welcome distraction from what had been occupying his mind the night before. 

As much as he was internally complaining....at least this made him feel warm and....happy? 

Balthier shakes that thought from his mind, bends to grab his folded clothes, and then turns.

* * *

  
Noah moves the arm away from his eyes shortly after he hears the shower being turned on next door, but for a long moment he doesn’t move. Just listening to the low and gentle rush of the water that is sure to be trickling down Balthier’s body right about now just focusing on breathing for a moment in this odd state of blissful not-thinking in an attempt to keep his imagination from showing him exactly what could be.

This was not the time to become aroused just by the thought of this very handsome, currently very _naked_ young man in his bathroom. With regret, Noah ignores his body’s reaction to waking up with Balthier in his arms and his overactive imagination tempting him to give in to the promise of pleasure. Now was _not_ the time.

And their relationship - whatever it was - had never been murkier, Noah needed to remember this.

If not for his own peace of mind then for Balthier who despite being very mature for his age was still his apprentice, his _young_ apprentice who seemingly had a lot of shit going on in his life. The last thing _Balthier_ needed was an older man terribly jaded by his past and more confused than anything by this development latching on to him.

Mind made up, Noah exhales slowly before he gets up, intent to help himself to his usual morning coffee. And to inspect the contents of his fridge. He hadn’t been lying earlier, anything he put together was more designed to be functional and filling rather than fancy like some breakfast deals on offer downstairs but perhaps, he _could_ fix them a quick breakfast.

The growling of his stomach certainly supports that idea.

The electric kettle’s slowly increasing noise offers a welcome distraction, but it is not enough to drown the shower’s sounds out. Leaning against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest, Noah tries to submerge himself in the boiling water next to his hip, tries to use it as an anchor to wrestle his thoughts back under control, but success is...limited. Regretfully.

Fixing his coffee just how he likes it - black with just a dash of milk, no sugar - is a thing of just a moment which Noah completes completely on autopilot. In the background, the shower still runs and unbidden, Noah’s mind wanders to the less than appropriate reasons for such a long shower. Surely, Balthier wouldn’t…?

Feeling as if in some sort of haze coupled with a nervous anticipation Noah usually only associates with the moments leading up to a battle, he cradles his mug in his hands, the heat from it only marginally registering in his mind. Gods help him, here he was after five years of building a life for himself from the ashes of his old one. Five years of sweat and blood and the occasional tears, of hiding himself away behind the impenetrable steel of his armour and the thick cloak woven from hurt, anger and hatred only to find out it wasn’t so impenetrable after all.

To have Balthier come in as if he had every right to be here and find all the chinks in Noah’s armour, sticking his slender but strong fingers in to mercilessly widen them without a care for Noah’s wishes in the matter.

It could almost be amusing, some sort of poetic justice, if it didn’t leave Noah feeling seriously unsettled. In the next room, the shower *finally* shuts off, catching Noah’s attention. Finally doing what he came here to do in the first place, Noah flicks the kettle on again in case Balthier wants a coffee as well and pushes himself away from the counter to peek into his fridge.

Enough for a simple breakfast of omelettes, maybe some potato scones to go with it. Good.

Coffee still in hand, Noah leaves the kitchen intent on returning to his bedroom to ask Balthier about breakfast, but the slight rustle of clothes being picked up alerts him to someone in the living room. Not someone. Balthier. When Noah turns, he is greeted by a still very much unclothed back, a few lone droplets of water still clinging to the skin and honey blond hair tips. Swallowing, Noah is torn between announcing himself and looking his fill for just a moment longer.

And then Balthier turns and Noah’s grip on his mug slips.

* * *

  
Yes. Of course.

No breaks. None whatsoever. Balthier should have known the moment he had gathered his clothes and turned to head back to the bathroom that Gabranth would be standing right in front of him.

The Espers really hated him as of late. One upward battle after another and although this wasn't the worst battle he's had to face, it was certainly the hardest to resist, figuratively and literally.

It was the grip slipping on Gabranth's mug that distracts Balthier from his own state of undress. From this entirely awkward and sexually charged situation. His mind is focused on what would be a huge mess, and so Balthier's mind kicks him into action. He's quick as he crosses the small distance to slip his hand under the mug, saving it from what would have been an unfortunate demise. It would have also kept him out of the bathroom longer, especially if there were mug shards over the floor.

Balthier would prefer to avoid cutting his foot, if he can help it.

There was one small thing that Balthier overlooked. The fact that now that he's stopped the mug's untimely death, he was very much in Gabranth's personal space. He can feel the warmth radiate off of the other man and Balthier doesn't want to look up but his gaze flicks to the other man's face. What a mistake.

He can feel the back of his neck heat up.

Those cursed espers really did find him a cosmic joke.

Balthier swallows around a _thick_ lump before he's clearing his throat as best as he can. The scent on his own skin from Gabranth's body wash wasn't as nice on him as his mentor. He's trying to not let that distract him but it was difficult to even think straight, to even come up with a witty retort to the entire situation, and that was what he was known for, witty retorts.  
.  
"Hand tired?" Balthier barely manages to get out.

He wants to step back, but he's not sure if Gabranth even has a firmer grip on the mug. Being this close was terribly intoxicating...almost as if Gabranth had become a better smelling Malboro.

* * *

  
Noah doesn’t realise the danger until Balthier is suddenly moving towards him in a hurry, too distracted by the vast expanses of smooth skin on display. Only once a few droplets of hot liquid spill over onto his skin and Balthier’s hand slips under his mug, brushing against his fingers in the process, does Noah realise what a fool he’s making of himself. 

Rooted to the spot, Noah tightens his hold automatically without taking his eyes off Balthier’s. Slightly wide hazel greens meet his own stunned gaze and with growing alarm Noah realises how close Balthier suddenly is. His warmth feels strangely familiar after last night and entirely too enticing, but it is the faint scent of his own shower gel wafting up from Balthier’s skin that’s threatening to do him in. Mateus’ chains, the possessiveness Noah hadn’t known he has rears its head inside him again, more than pleased with Balthier being covered in his scent. 

Balthier’s strangled attempt at breaking the thick tension between them falls somewhat flat, but it is enough to rouse Noah out of his own head. Enough for him to realise that he’s staring. The instinct to let his eyes roam, to take Balthier in in his entirety is _strong_ , but the last shreds of decency keep him from looking without being invited to. 

Noah’s neck burns with the heat of his embarrassment and interest, but he keeps his eyes strictly on Balthier’s face.

“More surprised.” Noah chokes out. “Do you always wander around your host’s home naked?” 

Gods, Noah hopes he doesn’t. Or if he does, that he would lie about it to him. 

It takes everything of his not inconsiderable control to keep himself from reaching out to Balthier, completely transfixed with those impossibly beautiful eyes and entirely too enticing pink lips, but he does catch himself leaning towards the young man. He stops himself at the last minute. 

Eyes not leaving Balthier’s face, Noah briefly lingers on the ugly bruise marring a smooth cheek before they meet Balthier’s again. 

“I think…” Noah clears his throat awkwardly. “I think you should put those clothes on. If you’d excuse me.” 

Noah turns to retreat to the safety of his kitchen

* * *

There was something there. It was incredibly evident now. It was in the way Gabranth looked at him, the way the man couldn't even speak properly. 

It sends a thrill through Balthier and one that he should logically ignore. There was something here. It would be difficult to really refute given absolutely everything that has occurred thus far between them. 

It was those intense blue eyes staring at him, studying him....studying his naked skin. 

The last thing he needed was to get hard again... 

Those eyes held a promise that Balthier wasn't sure what it entirely entailed. 

The question has a soft laugh spilling from his lips. "No. This is a first." He admits.

Usually he didn't stick around long enough to warrant a shower. It wasn't often...and after a couple of times Balthier would rather not have any more repeats. 

Surprisingly, yet not so surprisingly with the feelings suffocating the both of them. He yearned for a repeat of this....even if it didn't lead to sex. 

Except the thought of getting to trail his fingers along each hard muscle of Gabranth's body has that flush spreading from his neck to his cheeks. 

Dammit. 

Balthier wishes he weren't this easy to rile up. 

Disappointment swells when Gabranth tells him that he should put his clothes on. He can feel the man pull away, and Balthier only has a few seconds to weigh the cons of getting involved with his mentor on a more intimate level. 

No, he wasn't going to miss this... 

Balthier drops his clothes, and he catches Gabranth's wrist before he can get too far. His grip tight but not painful as he tugs the man back, turning him enough so that he can step closer.

Balthier knows that this is half a mistake, but he doesn't care. He'd rather take the risk and get rejected than wonder. It was better now than in his office where they could get caught. 

Balthier swallows the small bit of fear as he grips at Gabranth's shirt, closes the gap between them and kisses him, hard and desperately.

If the Espers were going to play around with him, then he would play right back. A life motto, after all.

* * *

  
The blush gracing Balthier's features is entirely too enticing and endearing. It distracts Noah enough that although he does intend to remove himself from the situation and the danger Balthier poses; he does so reluctantly and entirely too slowly. 

Definitely slow enough for Balthier to reach for him and stop him from leaving. Noah shouldn't let himself be stopped, knows without a doubt that staying is a mistake while the _something_ flares up around them letting the air between them seem more charged and heavy than ever. But he does stop and against his better judgement, he allows Balthier to turn him around again. 

He shouldn't have. 

Balthier stepping closer, moving into his space while _still being naked_ causes Noah's brain to stutter to a stop, unsure of what to do. Faced with this beautiful man in front of him, Noah can feel his resolve wavering alarmingly fast. 

Perhaps, with anyone else in any other situation, Noah wouldn't have had trouble to nip what was happening right in the bud. But Balthier's eyes draw him in, make it impossible to look away from them, and Noah gets lost in the pull between them.

Not that he put up a particularly hard fight. 

What feels like an eternity of studying the startling raw hunger in Balthier's eyes could only have been a few seconds, but they have Noah firmly rooted to the spot. He knows he should move away, should stop this because it's evident what is going to happen.

But he doesn't. 

Eyes dropping down to Balthier's lips, Noah licks his lips and then Balthier's are on his. Brain a mess of white static, Noah remembers the mug he's still holding almost too late and barely manages to set it down on the next available surface with a clatter before he brings his now free hands up to settle on Balthier's hips. 

Balthier kisses with a desperation, an urgency that threatens to steal the air right from Noah's lungs and for a moment, he lets himself fall. Kisses back with a hitherto unknown urgency, teasing Balthier, deepening the kiss, reveling in a taste that is completely, undeniably _Balthier_ …

...and then reality slams back in. 

Breaking the kiss reluctantly, it takes Noah a few moments of just breathing to gather his scattered thoughts while trying to ignore his stirring cock in his pants. 

"We…" Noah clears his throat again, mildly embarrassed by how husky his voice sounds, desire heavy in it. "We shouldn't have, Balthier." 

But oh, he wanted it.

* * *

  
Balthier's initial fears disappear the moment he gets a response from the blond man. Then added with the fact that Gabranth doesn't push him away, Balthier presses closer, leaning against him. The kiss feels ten times more intense than any kiss that he's ever experienced. He's not sure why, a part of him doesn't want to dwell on the reason either, but it has him melting against Gabranth almost as if he were meant to be near his mentor in this way. He can feel the other man's hands rest atop his towel laden hips. It has Balthier nipping at the bottom of Gabranth's lip, at the same time the man decides to break from the kiss. 

There's a clear sound of disappointment when Gabranth pulls back. Balthier chases but then stops himself, panting just as harshly as he studies the Judge Magister's face. Although, here within these walls....Gabranth had said it himself. He's not Judge Magister, merely Gabranth. It was difficult to deny how breathless that kiss had left him and the flush across his cheeks had just intensified. He wants many more, but the way Gabranth clears his throat does have Balthier taking half a step back. 

His fingers come up to press against his still tingling lips from the kiss. Hazel-green's meet and hold Gabranth's blue ones, seeking an answer he's scared to see. He'd taken his chance and although it was initially reciprocated....it seemed as if this would be the only thing he would have from Gabranth. It was hard to hide the disappointment in his features at his mentor's words, although a panting Gabranth certainly made for a nice sight. 

Balthier remains momentarily rooted in front of Gabranth as his grip on Gabranth's shirt tightens.

No. How could Gabranth ignore what was _clearly_ developing between them.

He swallows around a thick lump before he steps forward, wanting to be closer, and rests his forehead on the man's clavicle. His grip on Gabranth's shirt loosens a bit and any fight that Balthier thought he had gets sapped right out of him as he breathes in the man. 

This was it.... 

"Why?" Balthier asks, sounding both confused and a little hurt. 

Yes, it had been a little brash of him to chase this feeling, to chase Gabranth, to kiss him. To really make sure he wasn't making any of this up..... 

Balthier was having trouble forming proper words....anything really except for the why that hung bitterly in his mouth, tainting what had been the sweet taste of kissing Gabranth.

* * *

Panting softly following their kiss, the almost awed way Balthier presses his fingers to his (wonderfully kiss-swollen) lips is so charming it almost breaks Noah's resolve. He had expected a lot following his announcement. Anger, hurt (although there was some there, Noah isn't blind), Balthier brushing it off. 

Balthier leaning against his chest dejectedly, disappointment clear on his face was decidedly not on that list and yet here they were. Their position feels intimate in ways Noah wasn't prepared for. His arms twitch with the urge to wrap them around the young man, trusting him with this vulnerable side of him wanting to hold him and, irrationally, shield him from the world. Which doesn't make sense because right here, in this moment? 

It's Noah who had hurt him. 

It's Noah who led him on, who couldn't resist his own want despite knowing better resulting in this hurt, confused version of Balthier. The hands fisted in his shirt surprise him as much as they don't. He isn't surprised Balthier isn't simply backing off, exactly, but the way he clings to him? 

Exactly how attached was his apprentice to him?

Balthier's voice sounds uncharacteristically small and Noah loses the fight with himself, at least a little. Perhaps he is weak, perhaps he's just cruel but for a moment, one of his hands comes up to settle lightly on Balthier's head, low and partly cupping his neck, fingers threaded through silky strands of hair. 

How had it come to this?

For the first time in almost five years Noah's heart twinges with something lighter than the darkness he's become so used to, all thanks to Balthier. He's spent so much time forging himself into the ruthless weapon the Empire needs that he forgot how to be human. 

And he yearns to be human, Noah realises. Yearns for the warmth another person can offer, _Balthier_ is offering him. And by all that is holy, Noah _wants_ but...Sharp and deadly and utterly unsure how to set his own darkness aside Noah doesn't know how to avoid hurting Balthier and in a way it's terrifying. This prospect of letting the young man in, giving this attraction, this pull between them a chance. 

He can't. He shouldn't. 

But he wants to. 

"We need to remember who we are, Balthier." Noah murmurs around the lump in the back of his throat. "This can't be happening. I cannot take advantage of you and...there's nothing I could offer you. There's not enough of me left to give it to you."

A difficult admission but one Noah believes to be true. All he could offer Balthier was pain and heartbreak and this bright young man doesn't deserve this. Doesn't deserve to get lost in the wasteland of Noah's internal hubris. 

"I'm sorry." 

Noah manages to loosen his grip and letting his hand fall to his side but he finds himself unable to pull away from Balthier entirely. The faint taste of his peppermint toothpaste in his mouth left there by Balthier tasted both like freedom and regret.

Noah doesn't know which is worse. 

"I…" Noah snaps his mouth shut, unsure what he was going to say...or why he's stalling Balthier leaving with his passive refusal to separate the two of them. 

What a goddamn mess.

* * *

  
Balthier shouldn't be surprised. It wasn't the first time someone did want him, and it wouldn't be the last. 

He's reminded of all the judges that had only seen him as a nuisance, his own father, and his brothers (too occupied with their careers to even bother with him). 

Now this.... 

It seemed he was a bigger fool than the Espers could have ever imagined and that prospect hurt. Gabranth's words hurt, and even the hand in his hair and against his neck can't even comfort him. 

_I'm sorry._

What was Balthier supposed to do with that, tell Gabranth that everything would be fine? Yes, he'd be able to go back to being professional, but the hurt would linger. 

_This was good, Balthier. The last push. Leaving was the end goal, anyway._

Gods....but this rejection, even as kind as Gabranth intended to make it, stung even more. This was the only man who had challenged him head on but also respected him enough to listen or admit when he was wrong, give him some responsibility that typically would come with being a Judge, if only they hadn't insisted he take on apprenticeship because they believed him too unpredictable to take on his full responsibilities just yet. 

Balthier is the one to pull back, and half the mask that Balthier was prone to wearing had returned. It was impossible to hide the hurt in his eyes or the way that his bottom lip quivered briefly before his lips had thinned completely. 

"No, I should be sorry." Balthier gets out in a surprisingly even tone. 

He looks at Gabranth once more before he turns, scoops his clothes up, and disappears in the bathroom -- door closing and then locking. 

It was a good thing he was already at the palace....the Strahl needed a few more updates before he could fly her out of this godsforsaken city.

No more waiting. His prologue was coming to an end, a forceful end. 

At least working on his airship would distract him from the pure emptiness that he felt. The suffocating kind of emptiness where he's not quite feeling anything and yet feeling everything at the same time. 

If no one wanted him here, he would go find people that did want him.

* * *

  
The obvious hurt in Balthier’s eyes before they turn flat, Balthier’s walls obviously slamming back into place, and the way his bottom lip quivers almost unnoticeably feel like shards of glass in his chest. Sharp and jagged, tearing him apart from the inside. 

As obtuse as he could be in matters of emotions, matters of...the heart, Noah had never meant to hurt Balthier. 

That much was true. Had never meant to break the younger man’s walls down only to deliver a blow that dealt real damage. No, Noah hadn’t intended to let Balthier get this close at all and when he did, he had only wanted to spare him from himself, aware of his tendency to destroy all the good, beautiful things around him. 

Balthier was both of these things. And he deserved better. 

The moment the bathroom door clicks shut behind Balthier and the quiet sound of the lock being engaged, Noah slumps a little where he stands, suddenly feeling exhausted. If he had known what a rollercoaster of emotions inviting Balthier to spend the night would be, would he still have made the same decision? 

Noah frowns, eyes fixed unseeing on his abandoned mug, spilt coffee from being set down too hard pooling around it on the dark wood of the end table he’d managed to set it down on. 

Images from last night, of Balthier being a pain in the ass in the Molberry Inn, of Balthier sinking into his couch, his shoulders shaking with suppressed tears. Of Balthier turning to him for comfort, to him to hold him together when he was falling apart. 

Of Balthier sleeping on his chest, peaceful for once, looking serene in sleep. Of staying in bed pretending to still be asleep, even though they both knew the other was already awake. Of Balthier taking his walls down, allowing Noah to see the real him. 

Of Balthier kissing him. 

Shit. 

He had really fucked up, hadn’t he? 

Noah groans, unsure what to do with this realisation. Somehow, there was this incredible, bright and gorgeous young man interested in _him_ of all people and he let his own insecurities, his own...fear of forming attachments get the better of him. 

Life hadn’t been kind. Everyone he ever cared about had left, some unwillingly and some deliberately, but either way, he had been left behind to pick up the pieces. But that didn’t mean Balthier would, did it? 

Noah’s hands clench, his head bowed towards his chest while he contemplates his options. 

He could let Balthier leave, watch him walk out of his life hurt but not bad enough he wouldn’t recover….the mere thought sits ill with him. 

Or he could actually try to get over himself, try to salvage the situation if possible. If Balthier would let him. If he could shove his own baggage aside long enough to get his head out of his ass and try to hold on to the first good thing happening to him in Archades.

Put like this, it’s really not a difficult situation. Exhaling in defeat _and_ relief, Noah makes up his mind. 

Two long strides bring him to his bathroom door. Brow furrowing in a moment’s hesitation, Noah squares his shoulders. It wouldn’t be easy. Balthier might not even hear him out. But it was worth a try. He knocks. 

“Balthier. We need to talk. Please.”

* * *

It was all very mechanical. 

Balthier made sure to turn away from the mirror, not wanting to look at himself as he starts to unfold his clothes. He tugs at the knot on his side, letting the towel fall as he sets his blouse and jacket on the sink and tugs on his pants. 

All of this feels wrong. 

He stands there with his pants up, unbuttoned, staring at the wall before he manages to will himself to button them. Balthier swallows around a lump, inhales and then exhales. He felt cold all of a sudden....and he shouldn't, considering the warmth that had remained in the bathroom after his shower. 

Balthier reaches for his blouse, feeling an ache in his jaw at the fact that it had locked in his upset. With both arms through his shirt, he pauses to rub at his jaw and then flinches when he presses too hard on the bruise. 

Right....he'd forgotten about that.... Balthier presses it again, focusing on a different kind of pain. Not the empty pain that has him feeling as if he's stepped out of reality, that what he was currently experiencing was some sort of odd and uncomfortable dream. 

His fingers work the buttons of his shirt closed and then he's pulling his jacket on and zipping it up. 

Balthier bends to grab the discarded towel, and he hangs it up. It's at this moment that he hears the knocks on the bathroom door. Hazel greens shift to stare at the closed door...and the fact that Gabranth was clearly between him and the exit out, fresh air..... 

"I think you've said quite enough." Balthier calls back. 

Even with the want....no need to leave, Balthier can't move from where he stands in the middle of the bathroom. If he opened the door, he would be faced with his mentor....with the idiotic decision to give into his desires.

Balthier touches his lips, traces his finger over the bottom one, before he tenses. 

A complete fool. 

Balthier moves closer to the door and then lets his hand rest on it as he leans forward to then press his forehead to it. 

"I will see you tomorrow, Judge Magister Gabranth. And I promise to behave." He speaks through the door. 

He can't bring himself to flick the lock as he feels that hollowness overwhelm him again. "Just....leave me alone. Please."

* * *

Noah sighs at the almost instant refusal Balthier calls through the door. Even with the wood separating them, the hurt is unmistakable in Balthier's voice. It's nothing he didn't expect. Hell, it's nothing he didn't deserve. He had made a fool of himself with his own inability to make up his mind, had made a fool of Balthier...

It's only fair Balthier is refusing to speak to him. Noah certainly doesn't blame him for it. But still, Balthier falling back on his title, of putting distance between them by being overly formal...it feels wrong. That last bit especially-

"Fuck behaving." Noah blurts out without thinking, incensed by how Balthier thought he needed to change back into the unhappy, well-behaved Judge apprentice the other Judges had tried to make out of him around Noah.

"I don't think I have, Balthier." Noah pauses, contemplating his next words. Just bluntly telling Balthier he wouldn't let him leave until they had talked things through like this wouldn't go over well, he knows that much at least. So, how to phrase this without setting the other man off more than he already did?

"I apologise." Noah clears his throat, his mouth feeling dry with the tense nervousness of purposefully trying to open up to Balthier. "I…" Noah sighs and let's his head drop gently against the door separating them.  
.  
"Look, Balthier, I'm not good at this. I tend to make a fool of myself with anything personal." Noah swallows, sure that his words wouldn't make a difference, but he felt that he needed to get them out if only to maybe do some damage control in the long run. "I made a mistake just now. And I don't want you to leave."

Noah can't help but cringe a little at how awkward he sounded. Hashmal strike him down, he's absolutely botching this up.

"Will you please come out here, Balthier?"

It wouldn't be as easy to talk to Balthier face to face as it was talking through the door to him but on the other hand, this was a completely new level of awkwardness and Noah thought that maybe the sincerity in his eyes would possibly help. A little. Maybe.

As would be Balthier's proximity because half of the problem was that Noah couldn't resist the man, which resulted in an awful lot of mixed signals. But this wasn't a talk they should have through a door. Even Noah knew as much.

"Please. Just hear me out."

With sudden clarity, Noah realises that he's very close to groveling. And how had that even happened?

* * *

That....was not what he had been expecting to hear.... nor was it a reaction he'd expected to experience. 

Balthier is quiet because how does he react to that? He's not sure what to say or how to feel. One second Gabranth is telling him that they need to remember who they are, that he had nothing to offer Balthier. 

So what was this? 

Was Gabranth trying to make him feel better? Make sure he leaves not feeling as terrible as he had? 

It was almost like whiplash, emotional whiplash. And honestly, Balthier was tired. Not only did he have to deal with the emotional exhaustion of the night before, but now there was this and after such a nice morning. 

The reminder that he had liked being in Gabranth's arms has Balthier letting out a soft sigh against the door. 

It's Gabranth's next few words that have him pausing. He doesn't move, nor does he make a sound as he takes them in. 

There was....an awkwardness to them.....a vulnerability even. Exhaustion, similar to what Balthier was certainly experiencing. It was good to know that he wasn't the only one. 

Gods.... 

Once again he wishes Gabranth hadn't come to find him, hadn't agreed to bring him to the palace, and hadn't agreed to hold him. Not that things would have been easier, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with this on top of everything else. 

There is the click of the lock and then Balthier turns the knob, opening the door. He steps back to allow it to open completely as he stands there, expression unimpressed, and arms crossed over his chest. 

Although he did look upset, there was an awkwardness there too....one that stemmed from the fact that he had been willingly vulnerable with the man in front of him and Gabranth had thrown it in his face. 

"Okay. I'll listen." Balthier exhales. 

It was difficult to even look at Gabranth and it shows in the way he keeps his gaze on the ground, afraid that his eyes would reveal how he was truly feeling. 

Scared and hurt. Incredibly hurt.

* * *

The click of the lock is all the warning Noah gets, and he scrambles back from his position, leaning against the door just in time for Balthier to open it.

Hazel eyes meet weary hazel greens and that shard of glass in Noah’s chest twists a little. Gods, Balthier looks positively exhausted after looking so radiant a short while ago after just waking up. Can’t even hold Noah’s gaze…

Yes, he really messed up big time.

But his apparent willingness to at least listen to him is more than Noah expected. It does have some tension bleeding out of his shoulders in relief, even though he knows the real battle hasn’t begun yet and that it will be an uphill battle for him.

It wouldn’t be the first time, only in this instance he wouldn’t be able to cut himself out of the situation swinging his swords. No, this time, he’d have to take his armour off, actually, if he wanted to stand a chance.

Well, then…where to even start? And how?

“...” Noah sighs, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair in exasperation before gesturing at the couch everything began with. At least the last 24 hours. “Why don’t we sit down?”

* * *

Balthier's eyes flicker over to the couch that Gabranth had motioned to. He was glad to have something other than his supposed mentor to look at. It was hard not to feel how uncomfortable and tense the surrounding air had gotten. It made sense....but it didn't make any of this easier. 

Unfolding his arms, Balthier nods lightly as he steps out of the safety of the bathroom and back into the living room. It was cooler out here, and that seemed to match the way he was feeling about Gabranth. A little frosty. 

Balthier side-steps Gabranth and then he takes a seat at the far end of the couch. He crosses his arms over his chest again and leans against the arm rest facing the opposite side of the room. 

He doesn't say anything. There was no reason for him to say anything when Gabranth had said that he wanted to talk. The ball was in his court, and Balthier didn't plan to take it anytime soon. 

Balthier wouldn't stick around all day either....not anymore anyway.

* * *

Noah doesn’t dare to exhale the sigh of relief at Balthier’s acceptance. Despite his apparent agreement to at least listen, Noah hadn’t thought this would go over well for...more than him trying to make this a little more comfortable on the both of them. At least physically.

No, he had expected Balthier to pick up on the fact that Noah was trying to buy a little time too, to have even that short moment more to work out what he wanted to say. What he should say if he didn’t want Balthier to up and leave in a hurry.

The younger man’s body language is closed off and as close to ignoring him as it can be without Balthier actually turning his back on him short of leaving. It has a little of the tension creeping back into Noah’s shoulders and he feels the muscles in his neck bunching up, those in his jaw and cheek twitching with the emotional strain.

Studying Balthier’s drawn, distant-looking face, Noah’s mind races through his options. He settles on honesty, even though it’s by far the most difficult one. But so far, it has worked rather well, so maybe…

“Thank you. For staying.” Noah clears his throat, somewhat embarrassed with how tight his voice sounds. “I’m honestly not sure where to begin or what to say without sticking my foot into my mouth again. I’m rather good at that, at least around you.”

Noah shrugs, a little embarrassed, hands buried in his pockets. He doesn’t sit down, not yet anyway. Despite Balthier sitting at the far end, the couch feels too small for the two of them, the tension between them thick and palpable. Instead, Noah wanders over to the window, turning his profile to Balthier for a brief look outside before he turns his attention back to the younger man.

“I meant it when I said I am sorry.” he begins, then sucks a breath in to steel himself. “The truth is, I was scared. Still am.”

* * *

Gabranth scared... 

Hmmmm. 

Balthier tries to keep his expression schooled, but it's tough. Even tougher at the fact that the man seemed to be stalling. 

He shifts on the couch, turning his body a little more, so he can face his mentor's back. Well, the man's back until he's turning to look at Balthier again. 

Balthier's expression hardens a little. "You keep apologising and quite frankly I'm confused as to what they're all supposed to mean." 

It's clear he feels frustrated with all of this. "If you're only waiting to tell me that what happened is wrong, we should forget about it, but you want us to continue having a decent professional relationship than I already know. You made it clear." 

He pauses at the reminder that Gabranth had said he was scared. Balthier is quiet for a second as he digests it all. 

"How do you think I feel?" Balthier asks, just barely above a whisper. "I feel foolish. Like I misread the entire room." 

He's staring at his lap as he uncrosses his arms. His fingers press against his lips again and he looks incredibly confused. "But you kissed me back....so I really don't understand."

* * *

Noah nods at the hard tone in Balthier's voice, knowing that he deserves it and more. Without really meaning to, he's really pulled a number on his apprentice, playing mind games without thought. Honestly, if Balthier never wanted to speak to him again, maybe even requested a transfer to another department, he wouldn't be surprised.

But even if he does, Noah owes Balthier the truth. It's the least he can do to maybe undo at least some damage his fumbling has caused.

"I'm not…" Noah looks down and exhales a little shakily. Time to face the music. He looks up. "I'm not going to tell you what happened is wrong again. You are a sensible man, you know what this thing between us would entail considering our positions."  
.  
Noah's fists clench nervously within the confines of his pockets and out of Balthier's sight. Or at least he hopes so, remembering the younger man's sharp gaze and observation skills. 

Balthier's whisper is so quiet Noah can barely pick up what he's saying and yet so loud that it's echoing in the silence between them, his words falling into the pit of Noah's stomach like a ton of stones. Ultima's mercy, how did he mess up so spectacularly that he broke this confident young man down to this? That he hurt him like this?

"You didn't read the room wrong, Balthier." Noah tries to reassure the young man, then hastens to add. "No, really. I wanted to kiss you, too. I still do. And it's scaring the shit out of me because I don't do feelings, Balthier. Closing myself off is how I survived for the past five years."

Noah takes a deep breath to slow down a little, to compose himself a bit before he runs too far ahead and loses Balthier on the way again.

"I know it's not good enough an explanation, but it's the truth. I thought I'd be fine with going back to how things were. That we could go back to normal, maybe." Noah's voice tapers off, becoming quiet, just above a whisper while he's realising he's telling the truth as he speaks. "But the thought of letting you leave like this, of losing this...thing between us before it has a chance to begin...that scares me too."  
.  
The truth of this is crawling all over Noah's skin, leaving him with a deep sense of unease for opening up this much, but he ignores it. It seems like this was the only way to salvage the situation so he'd do it. What is his emotional discomfort compared to Balthier's?

* * *

Balthier listens because he's not sure what more to say without hearing out Gabranth's part. 

He does do the other man the respect of looking at him even if it hurts and he'd much rather look into his lap. Balthier feels frozen on the couch, almost as if he can't breathe on top of not being able to move. He forces air into his lungs and swallows around a lump. 

Gabranth should have just let him go. It would have been so much easier than this....Balthier doesn't think he's ready for this. Not the small bit of hope that the conversation was offering him, because Balthier knew there was a catch. It also bothered him that he had become infatuated so quickly with this man. Their interactions prior to this apprenticeship had been short, if anything. Barely anything to notice, but Balthier also couldn't deny that out of all the judges he had respected Gabranth and Drace the most. 

It's Gabranth's final words that have Balthier really thinking over everything. He lets the silence hang in the air for a long time before he's inhaling again and meeting Gabranth's gaze. There's a weariness there, one mixed in with hesitance. 

"I...can't read your mind, Gabranth." Balthier begins slowly enunciating every single syllable. "What is it that you want? Because I think I made myself quite clear." 

He understood there was fear with opening up. He understood that this was out of the norm for the other man....and in essences for himself as well. Balthier had never really felt this way with anyone. Sure, he'd been physically attracted to people, but this was something stronger, something that had been sprung on him out of the blue. 

"I can go...let you think." Balthier adds, realising that maybe an answer wouldn't come easy right now. 

It would give Balthier time to think too and honestly, he feels this is the most mature he's ever been...but he also needs air, needs space. Needs to calm down. Maybe needs his own bed and a bit of time to work on the Strahl.

* * *

  
The prolonged silence between them feels oppressing, so heavy and thick Noah almost feels like it's choking him, but he doesn't try to break it. Balthier deserved, needed the time to make sense of what he's heard without him interfering.

But it is difficult. Noah cannot remember the last time he felt this ansty about anything, this nervous. Keeping up his calm posture hasn't been this hard in years although it is a relief that here, within these walls and only Balthier as company, he doesn't have to hide his feelings away. They are clear in his eyes if not his posture.

Balthier's words break the silence, leaving Noah both relieved and unsure of himself. No, Balthier couldn't read his mind but neither could he himself it seemed, at least presently. 

What _did_ he want?

That is the question of the century, isn't it? What does he want? It is such a loaded question that for a long moment it steals the breath from Noah's lungs, rendering him mute before he pulls himself together.

The truth is, he does not know what he wants _entirely_. As unsettled as he is treading unfamiliar ground he does know the essence of his want, but it is the aspect of a future that he has trouble wrapping his mind around. Because Noah knows that if they give this a chance, it wouldn't be a dalliance, not for Noah. It would be something more serious.

But would Balthier be ready for that? Is he?

"You did make yourself clear. Thank you." Noah eventually offers and pulls himself together. Balthier's suggestion to go, give them both time to think is not a bad one for all that he doesn't want to let the younger man out of his sight, irrationally afraid that if he lets him slip away now, he won't be coming back. 

But it is the look on Balthier's face, the expression in his eyes - weary, confused, strained - that makes the decision easy. Noah leaves his place by the window, rounds the coffee table and drops onto his knees in front of Balthier, trying to let instinct and not his thoughts guide him in this.

"I would like it if we could maybe start over again, see where this takes us." Noah admits in a low murmur, for once not trying to conceal the raw earnestness in his voice. Balthier needs to hear it. "I do think giving us both a little time to let this sink in and think things through would do us good."

Unsure if it would be welcome but finding himself unable to resist, Noah brings a hand up to hesitantly brush the knuckles of his fingers against Balthier's cheek in a brief caress.

"Why don't we take some time for ourselves and when you feel ready, we can continue this?"

Because right now, this conversation helped Noah to make sense of the chaos in his head, so he feels more secure in his decision and what he wants. But it pushed Balthier closer to the breaking point, and it is obvious the younger man cannot handle any more and needs a break to centre himself at least.

Noah is more than content to wait, despite knowing he'll get antsy again. It doesn't matter, Balthier breaking is the last thing he wants, so it is an easy decision for once.

* * *

Balthier doesn't even react when Gabranth rounds the coffee table to kneel in front of him. He does glance down to meet his mentor's gaze as the man speaks. 

It was probably a good thing that he didn't have any desire to reach out and touch him. 

Hazel greens disappear when Balthier's eyes close and he feels Gabranth's knuckles caress his cheek. He turns his head as he inhales deeply, his eyes remain closed as he tries to keep his reaction at bay. It was upsetting that even Gabranth's touch still tingled against his skin. It still had such an effect on him. 

See where this takes us...

When you feel ready... 

Balthier's lips curve down into a bit of a frown, but he doesn't argue. He has no energy to. In fact, he was going to take this ticket out of Gabranth's apartment. He had a lot to think about and many things to now do. 

He opens his eyes, letting them adjust and focus on the door leading out of Gabranth's suite. "At what time would you like me in your office tomorrow?" Balthier asks, tone quite flat.

It was the only thing he needed to know from Gabranth at this point. He could make a professional relationship work for now. His thoughts were already elsewhere, but mostly because he needed a distraction from this conversation and from his feelings. 

He should have just gone into the bathroom to change instead of chasing after Gabranth. The kiss had felt nice, but now he wonders if it had even been worth the heartache and complications it had just created.

"Did you still want that deficiency analysis and security improvement proposal?" This too came out just as flat as his first question.

* * *

Balthier turning away from his touch stings, but Noah supposed that it's only fair and probably to be expected. Balthier does seem to have reached the limit of what he can take at the moment, if the tired look in his eyes is any indication. But still, irrationally, it stings.

Still kneeling on the floor, hands in his lap now feeling too weak to reach out to Balthier again when it's obvious it isn't wanted, Noah follows Balthier's gaze to the front door. Noah's brows knit together unhappily, but he tries his best to smooth it out immediately. 

So he's going to leave, then.

Noah can't say he's surprised but admittedly disappointed. More than he thought he would be and isn't this a morning full of unforeseen realisations? A part of him wants to try to fight, wants to see if Balthier can't be persuaded to stay. But Noah has always known when he lost and when it was time to retreat temporarily or risk a serious fallout.

And pushing right now wouldn't do them any good.

At what time…

....security improvement proposal?

Noah barely hides the wince at how flat Balthier's voice sounds.

Balthier resorting to strict professionalism to hide behind makes sense and having done the same in the past, Noah can respect it. But it still feels wrong between them. Wrong wrong wrong. They had passed that stage within the first 24 hours and against his better judgement, Noah had allowed it, even helped it along and then got used to the much warmer, more personal relationship they'd been building.  
.  
And yet...perhaps, as much as it doesn't sit right with him, this is what they needed for the moment. What Balthier needed. 

The disappointment and irrational burning embarrassment of having put himself out there and being ignored sit heavy in Noah's chest, but he swallows the feelings down. Now is not the time to dive into them, to try to make sense of what happened and what he feels.

Getting to his feet, Noah steps aside to open the way for Balthier, expecting the young man to bolt the moment he had his answers.

"Take half of the day off and come in at noon." Noah settles on. It is not ideal, but it would give Balthier a little over a day to regroup. "Please continue working on the security improvement proposal, I would like to have your opinion on its current state."

Eyes fixed on the young man who had managed to turn his world on its head within such a short time, Noah exhaled slowly.

"See you tomorrow, Balthier. Take care."

Perhaps, by the time they'd see each other again, Noah would know what he wants from all of this, from Balthier, too.


	6. A Sickly Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

Balthier leaves. 

He can't remember if he said anything or if he got up and went straight for the door. Either way, he doesn't look back and he lets his feet guide him to the Bunansa Estate. He doesn't linger there long. Just enough to grab enough of his belongings that no one would be the wiser. He doubted his father would even notice. 

That man had probably forgotten he had a younger son. 

Balthier closes his eyes, swallows, and tries to forget that. His father was sick. It was because of this he wasn't acting normal. Although....how did one help someone who spoke to thin air? 

He's glad that he's able to slip out undetected, he hangs around a cafe until it gets dark and even the cafe owners have to tell him they're closing, and then he heads straight for the hangers.

The Strahl was located in an old hangar where the Empire placed all of the older models of ships or ships that weren't usable anymore. Balthier had accidentally found the Strahl and the moment he had seen her, he'd been enchanted. She hadn't looked the best at the start but she was starting to look better. Balthier was purposely taking his time so the changes aren't noticeable but he knows there will be a point where they will be and he'll have to work fast to get himself out of Archadia with her. 

Balthier had drowned himself in working on her. In a way, Balthier felt just as mechanical as she did, with the way he would report to Gabranth, do his work, and then when it was late enough, sneak down to the hanger and work on the Strahl until he was too exhausted. He would then wrap himself in several blankets, perch himself in the pilot seat, and try to sleep so he could repeat it all the next day. 

It was a fantastic set up. Minus the fact that it was so bloody cold during the night. That was not something that Balthier had quite calculated in his plans mostly because he'd been spoiled. The weather had never been something he ever had to worry about because the Bunansa Estate was always at the perfect temperature for every season. 

It didn't matter though. It was a sacrifice that he didn't mind making even though he woke up feeling terrible. Nothing that couldn't be remedied with a hot shower in the training room change rooms before reporting to his mentor. 

Gabranth. 

That was a different story altogether. Balthier was behaving....but mostly because he didn't have the energy to do anything else. With the repairs on the Strahl and the outings to gather more information about Famfrit's Kiss, there wasn't really much time to act out. Not that he could bring himself to act out against Gabranth in spite of what had transpired between them. 

Presently, Balthier stood a few distance from his desk discussing a matter with Monica, one of Gabranth's better underlings. 

He felt a little terrible but Balthier had just assumed that feeling under the weather this week was a theme he would have to deal with. It hadn't stopped him from getting quite a bit done outside of his apprenticeship. 

Although, Balthier had noticed that Monica had been eyeing him throughout the entire conversation and it has him pausing, brows knitting together, as he eyes her. 

"Is something wrong, Monica?" Balthier finds himself asking because honestly he could do without the staring. 

There's a brief pause and then Monica squares him with a very serious look. "You don't look very good, Judge Bunansa." 

Balthier can't help but inwardly roll his eyes. If only she knew the extent of what he's been dealing with. No matter. It wasn't her business and it was best not to bring any attention to himself. 

"I'm fine. Just a little tired." Balthier answers. He didn't want to lie to her but he also didn't want to tell her the extent of how unwell he'd been feeling. 

"If you'll excuse me. I need to finish this analysis...." Balthier murmurs and as he turns, he feels his entire world spin around him. 

He manages to catch himself but as he shifts to straighten himself, he feels the world tilt from under him and he can only inwardly sigh at the fact that he really couldn't catch a break. 

"Judge Bunansa!"

* * *

The first half a day after ‘the incident’ as Noah had dubbed the clusterfuck from the day for the lack of a better word is awful and drags on and on, a crippling silence between them. Noah had half-expected Balthier to not show up again or to excuse himself but the young man had showed up and conducted himself flawlessly.

He completed the tasks Noah gave him to a high standard, was polite and utterly professional to everyone, offered smart insights when asked and made a good impression on the entire department.

Listening to Dustin’s report on the drug cartel they were going to smash in about two weeks if everything was going to plan with one ear, Noah grits his teeth.

All of this would be desirable, the best outcome of Balthier’s apprenticeship with him. If he wasn’t treating Noah in the same polite but aloof manner as everyone else. It sets Noah’s teeth on edge just as much as it stings. He hadn’t expected Balthier to be his usual self when he came in almost a week ago but he hadn’t expected...this cold professionalism between them when there had been a growing rapport before.

Ironically, Noah finds himself missing the snark, the teasing, the blatant displays of charming disrespect and that infuriating little smirk that drove many a superior up the wall in the past.

But, as much as he hates it, he understands. Balthier needs his space what with Noah fucking up spectacularly and whatever was going on in his life that drove him to drink that night to begin with. So, he had assigned Balthier a desk in the bullpen instead of having a second desk brought into his own office.

Noah still wasn’t entirely sure which approach to take, even days after ‘the incident’, days he had spent trying to work through his emotional chaos. With little success - or rather, Noah knew he stood by his words to Balthier, still meant it that he wanted them to start over, that he was interested in Balthier. But the vague feeling that this was a bad idea lingered as did the apprehension of opening himself to another person.

Watching Balthier talk to Monica from the corner of his eyes, Noah knew without a doubt that he was worth it though.

Having spent an unusual amount of time mingling with his agents these past few weeks, Noah was now better informed of what was going on, what moved those under his command and which dynamics were working and which had to be watched than ever before. But more importantly and the reason for his ‘new approach to leadership’ as Judge Drace had teased him was that it allowed him to keep an eye on Balthier.

The young man didn’t look good, in fact he looked worse with each passing day. At first, it had only been almost unnoticeable wrinkles on Balthier’s usually immaculate clothes, then oil stains on his shoes, so small that they were easy to miss. Now, it was an unhealthy pallor of his face coupled with two spots of colour on his cheeks. Balthier looked ill.

If he…

”Judge Bunansa!”

Balthier!

Noah doesn’t get the chance to complete his thought. Eyes widening just a smidge, he’s across the room in a flash despite his heavy armour and before Dustin can even complain about being mostly ignored, his arms closing around Balthier’s prone body breaking his fall. 

Adrenaline coursing through his veins and his entire focus on Balthier, Noah doesn’t care for the surprised looks or the fact that Balthier had seemed uncomfortable in his vicinity for the past week. Heart beating too fast, Noah makes an effort to appear calm and collected despite the worry he’s feeling and adjusts his grip on Balthier to hold him more comfortably.

There’s no doubt now. Balthier is ill.

“I’ve got you, Balthier. I’ll get you somewhere you can lie down.”

* * *

Arms.... 

Gods, Balthier felt heavy and both hot and cold. He swears he must have lost consciousness for a split second because he can't remember how the arms around him had gotten around him. It's the voice that straightens his thoughts and he's moving to get his feet under him as he grasps Gabranth's arm so he can straighten and....

His knees give out on him again and his grip on Gabranth's armoured arm tightens. 

"I'm fine...." Balthier exhales not even ashamed of his clearly blatant lie. 

Everyone around them could see that he was not fine. His usual tanned colouring was now pale and flushed. Balthier inwardly groans because this was the last thing that he needed. 

Monica is the one that makes her way over and presses the back of her hand to his forehead. "You have a fever." 

Balthier doesn't even try to pull away from Gabranth. "Technicalities...." But the usual amount of attitude isn't even there especially with how breathless he's sounding all of a sudden. 

How had he not noticed this? A fever. 

Balthier does try one last time to straighten but Monica's hand on his shoulder stops him. She's looking up at Gabranth and her lips are thinned. 

"If you'd like, Judge Magister, I can take care of Judge Bunansa." She offers knowing Gabranth is busy.

* * *

Annoyance briefly replaces the concern and Noah frowns down at Balthier, clearly communicating his displeasure at the younger man’s display of being stubborn and completely disregarding his own health. 

“Cut the crap, you’re clearly not fine.” He almost growls before he catches himself, taking a deep breath to get a grip again. “Technicalities, my ass…”

How in Belias’ inferno did Balthier manage to be this obstinate even in this situation? Is he trying to be difficult because it’s in his nature or because it’s him?

Monica only confirms what Noah had already suspected but couldn’t confirm, not with his gloves on and his arms full of Balthier - who is still trying to get up and distance himself from Noah, failing again and again. It is obvious that he is unwell and needs rest, that his body is shutting down on him. Well then, that settles it.

“Thank you, Monica, I appreciate the offer.” Noah mutters without looking up. “But he is my responsibility. Have those files I was working on sent to my quarters in an hour. You’re temporarily in charge but you’ll report directly to me. Understood?”

Noah doesn’t wait for her wide-eyed ‘Understood!’ and ignores the outcries of “Sir” and “But my report…!” in his back, instead concentrating on getting Balthier completely off the ground and into his arms without accidentally dropping the struggling man. An exercise in patience, truly.

They barely make it out of the room before Noah’s patience snaps in a mix of frustration, concern and the wish to have Balthier seen to by a healer as soon as possible.

“Balthier. If you don’t stop this nonsense right now, I will drop you and then carry you like a sack of potatoes to my quarters, is that clear?”

* * *

Balthier couldn't even resist the moment he's lifted and the world tips again. It forces him to squeeze his eyes shut as he sags against Gabranth's cool armour. It has him shivering but he does shift enough to press his forehead against the man's strange shoulder pads. The coolness does have Balthier letting out a sigh. 

He can't even be annoyed that he'd literally been lifted away by his mentor. 

Honestly, Balthier's too tired to care and now that Monica has put a word to the physical symptoms he'd been feeling....he can feel the aches in his body. So it wasn't the pilot seat. Although, he imagines that couldn't have helped. 

Balthier keeps his eyes closed as he rests his hands on his stomach so they are not hanging listlessly to his sides. 

"Mmmhmm...." Balthier exhales, his body really going lax. 

He doesn't have it in him to fight anymore. It was almost nice being carried....to not have to carry his own physical weight and metaphorical weight. The metaphorical weight being some of the heaviest things he's had to carry around with him....and no one the wiser.

* * *

Most of Noah’s frustration disappears when Balthier actually gives in and sags against his chest - well, chest plate - , his head coming to rest against his shoulder. At Balthier’s quiet sigh of relief Noah’s lips curl up before he can stop it, aware of how cool and pleasant his armour must feel against the man’s hot forehead.

Although it can’t be comfortable to be pressed against so much cold metal. With his hands securely wrapped around Balthier’s shoulder and knees, Noah can feel the shivers wrecking Balthier’s body and he walks a little faster intent on putting Balthier to bed as soon as possible so he could rest. And tries to wipe that fond if worried half-smile from his face.

It’s bad enough that he didn’t think to get his helmet before they left as it is practically unheard of for the Judge Magisters to ever be seen without one in public (excluding their own departments, thankfully). Well, it can’t be helped and Noah doesn’t find it in himself to care. It is certainly not hard to ignore the palace staff’s looks with the stoicism Noah has been wearing like a second skin for so long in this place.

A stoicism only pierced through by Balthier.

“Just a little further…” Noah murmurs, his eyes glued to the young man’s face.

Getting his door open without having to set Balthier down who seems mostly asleep by the time they make it requires creativity Noah doesn’t have the patience for so he ends up kicking the door open, uncaring that he’ll have to get a new lock installed. Something he had meant to do anyway.

Looking at his functional but only moderately comfortable couch, Noah dismisses it immediately. No. Too uncomfortable. His bed it is - considering the massive armour he’s wearing lowering Balthier down onto his bed isn’t exactly easy but Noah is careful and manages without jostling him too much.

Balthier’s face looks almost as white as the sheets and in stark contrast to the black of his clothes and more vulnerable than ever before. Noah swallows at the unexpected pressure of what he identifies as tenderness in his chest.

...right. So what did he need to do next?

Get Balthier out of his clothes and into a comfortable pyjama.

Tuck him in to keep him warm.

Request a healer.

Get a cold cloth for Balthier’s forehead to offer relief.

Take his own hindering armour off.

Okay, he could do this.

“Balthier? Can you hear me?” Noah murmurs after carefully lowering Balthier onto the bed. “I’ll have to take your clothes off, just the outer layer, okay? You can wear one of my pyjamas.”

Even if Balthier isn’t entirely able to discern what he’s saying, Noah will continue to telegraph what he’s doing. It might preempt any startled reactions or so he hopes.

* * *

Footsteps, jostling, stillness, speaking....and then the sound of something giving way. 

Balthier feels as if his head is so incredibly heavy. He can't even open his eyes as he hears those footsteps again and then something is shifting. He's not sure if it's the arms around him, the fact that he doesn't feel as high up as he'd been and then.... 

A small groan makes its way past his lips as he feels something soft and comfortable under him. It feels strange to not be in motion even though for what must have been at least five minutes that was the case. He cracks an eye open, glancing around but not quite taking anything in, his one eyed gaze does fall on Gabranth. 

When did he get here? 

"Yes." Balthier gets out airily. "Loud and clear." 

The one eyelid slips closed and he lays there feeling as if the bed were about to absorb him into it. That too was an odd feeling and he lays there trying to adjust to that feeling. A feeling that clearly must have been attributed to his fever. 

He's forcing his eyes open again but he only gets them half-mast as he studies Gabranth's face. Balthier reaches up to gently cradle the man's face as he squints. 

"When did you get here? Where's Monica?" Balthier asks his brain feeling quite...gelatinous. In fact, it almost felt as if he didn't have one with how things had shifted so quickly. He had been speaking to Monica barely a second ago. 

Now....he was in bed? 

Something wasn't quite adding up here but his mentor's cheeks were certainly warm. His hands do end up dropping and his eyes closing again. "Gods....I feel like Zalera is breathing down my neck...."

* * *

Relief crosses Noah's features when Balthier opens an eye and answers him. So he's not unconscious and still responsive. Good. That's really good. Right?

The relief doesn't last long. Not with Balthier not remembering the last, what, fifteen minutes? Twenty? Was he so out of it that he doesn't remember his fall and Noah swooping in? 

Was this normal? Noah can't remember ever having been this out of it himself while being ill but then again, he didn't fall ill often. Or at least not anymore since reaching his teenage years.

Slender but strong fingers cradling his face jolt Noah out of his thoughts. Balthier's fingers. Balthier's hand. On his face. Noah blinks, hazel eyes fixed on Balthier's hazel greens. The hand on his face feels slightly clammy but Noah still leans into the touch for a very short moment.

Before he remembers that just half an hour ago Balthier didn't want anything to do with him.

The reminder is like a bucket full of ice emptied over his head and has him pulling back hesitantly. Yes, Noah had hoped they would reconcile, get back to their surprisingly fast but comfortable familiarity with each other. But not like this, not when Balthier wasn't entirely aware of what was going on.

"Monica is back in the office." Noah answers slowly, a frown knitting his brows together. "We're currently in my quarters."

Absentmindedly, Noah pulls one of his gloves off so he can feel Balthier's forehead for his temperature.

Way too hot for comfort.

"You're burning up…" Noah murmurs, takes off his other glove and reaches for Balthier. "Come on, let's get you comfortable before I call for a healer. Red or white sleep shirt?"

Noah doesn't really expect an answer but somehow, it seems important to him to keep Balthier awake just a little longer until he has been seen to. Maybe talking to him, trying to engage him in conversation helps...?

"I'll take off your shirt, alright, Balthier?"

* * *

The answer has Balthier pausing, not that that was noticeable considering he needed a minute to process anything fully. When he feels Gabranth's hand on his forehead, Balthier brings a hand to hold the man's hand there. He doesn't hold it there long when he can feel Gabranth start to move it away. His own hand falls against the pillow and he's blinking up at Gabranth. 

"What colour's your favourite?" Balthier can't help but ask instead of even answering the actual question. 

It was a fair question, Balthier didn't know if Gabranth had a favourite colour. It shouldn't be important right now but it was. 

His breath comes out raggedly but he nods as he lets his eyes fall shut again. 

A part of Balthier wants to ask if he can stay here. If Gabranth can make sure that he's not sent back to the Bunansa Estate but at the same time....even in his feverish mind, he knows that reveals far too much. This was hardly the time for his mentor to figure out that he hasn't been going home and that he's been sleeping on palace grounds, technically. 

It's also not the time for Gabranth to figure out why Balthier is so adamant in not returning.

* * *

Noah pauses, charmed despite himself by how Balthier seems to be seeking contact but he doesn't let it show. It is kind of adorable, really, although Noah would never tell Balthier as much, reasonably sure that the other man wouldn't appreciate being called adorable.

But he is.

Still entirely unpredictable though. Noah stills for a moment before he continues unbuttoning Balthier's shirt. His favourite colour…? Why would...no one had asked him that in years. Noah has half a mind to ask Balthier why it matters but one look up and into his flushed face and glazed eyes stops him.

Noah sighs even as he gently rights Balthier so he can take both the elaborate vest and Balthier's simple dress shirt underneath off. "It's green. And a golden yellow. Reminds me of the vast wheat fields and forests of my home."

Surprised with himself, Noah stops tugging Balthier's shirt out of his pants. He hadn't meant to share this much...but it had somehow slipped out before he had even thought about it, leaving him a little unsettled in its wake. But one glance at Balthier leaning surprisingly pliant against his shoulder dispels the feeling.

Even if Balthier remembered this in the morning or whenever he came out of this feverish haze, Noah had shared far more personal things about himself just days ago. This was inconsequential in comparison. Another piece of his puzzle for sure but unimportant. 

Divesting Balthier of his undershirt doesn't take long. Once settled back in the sheets, Balthier's boots and the ridiculously puffy pants come off easily and Noah counts his blessings that he doesn't have to peel Balthier out of those ridiculously tight pants he's seen him wear before instead. Small mercies because this was awkward enough as it was, no matter the single mindedness Noah employs or the gentle efficiency he completes his task with.

He falters, faced with a mostly naked Balthier in his bed, that perhaps he should have grabbed a set of PJ's first before undressing the man. Whose shivering still hadn't ceased. If asked later, Noah wouldn't be able to give another explanation than that he wanted to see Balthier in his clothes but he reaches for his own, worn only once, sleep shirt half tucked under the pillow before he can think better of it and pulls it over Balthier's head. 

"There you go. This should be better." Noah murmurs and helps his apprentice slip under the covers, uncharacteristically making sure Balthier is tucked in well for maximum warmth and comfort. Just another one of the myriad new things Balthier has made him do and experience in these last ten days.

Truth be told, this...tenderness he's displaying feels both right and seriously creeps Noah out, entirely unused to the concept. It wasn't always like this, obviously, but he hadn't taken care of another person since his mother died. It feels a bit like pulling on an old but a little too big jumper on. Not a perfect fit but comfortable enough.

"I'll just...call for a healer" and someone to repair the door "and get something cool for your head. I'll be right back, Balthier."

Noah tries a reassuring smile before he turns to complete his tasks and hopefully get rid of the armour.

* * *

Balthier had not expected such an honest answer but it certainly didn't help him pick a colour of shirt to sleep in. He's blinking slowly as he studies Gabranth. He was finding that he really liked the colour of the man's eyes. Although, as much as he would like to keep gazing into them, his eyelids end up drooping closed again. He lets Gabranth move him around and Balthier even takes comfort in the brief moment he's leaning against the other man's shoulder (even if his armour was still cool to the touch).

Balthier wonders if he should be helping his mentor or if he should just bask in the attention. The fact that he quite literally doesn't have to do anything for himself which is a novelty considering this last week. Well, last month realistically. 

Gabranth's scent fills his senses the moment the man's shirt is pulled over his head. It has his cheeks tinting a little darker, unnoticeably so given his currently feverish state. 

Balthier lets out a soft sigh when he's being tucked in and that feeling of being absorbed into the bed returns. It has Balthier momentarily losing consciousness. The only things that he's aware of are the scent of Gabranth's shirt and the fact that he wasn't shivering so violently anymore. The blankets wrapped around him a nice cocoon of warmth. 

His forehead....a less pleasant warmth. 

The part of him that had registered Gabranth's words had once again wanted to ask if he'd be moved away after the healer came by....but he's unable to. He can feel the absence of Gabranth's presence the moment the man had stepped out. 

What an unexpected turn of events...

* * *

Noah makes haste to complete all the things he needs to do before he can return to Balthier. Calling for the palace healer takes less than a minute with the nurse he’s speaking to assuring him someone will come within half an hour. Arranging for maintenance to take care of his door goes...almost as quick despite the head of staff being less than pleased with him demanding how that even happened.

Good, that’s two things off his list.

It is ridiculous and stupid but Noah would prefer to be able to keep an eye on Balthier. Having looked back over his shoulder before leaving the room, the image of the young man lying in his bed is still fresh in his mind. He had seemed so… _small_. Helpless. Awakening a protective instinct in Noah he only ever felt for his family and even that had been a slightly different feeling.

By Chaos, what a mess.

Shaking his head, Noah begins to shed his armour methodically, piling it in the corner behind his armchair in his living room. He could store it properly on the stand he has for this exact purpose in one corner of his room but it’s clanging something awful as it is and given Balthier’s exhaustion it is not unlikely the man fell asleep in the time since Noah left him. And Noah is...reluctant, _more_ than reluctant to disturb his rest.

This will do, for now. Not like his armour would take damage with how massive it is.

Leaving the bathroom with a cool wet cloth in hand a few minutes later, Noah stops and contemplates his kitchen door, brows knit in thought. Yes, that might not even be a bad idea. For the second time within a week Noah finds himself switching the kettle on for Balthier, only this time it wasn’t intended for coffee. And didn’t he have….?

Setting the wet cloth aside for a moment, Noah rummages through his kitchen cabinets, sure he stored this _somewhere_....aha! There it was.

Feeling satisfied with himself, it is with a cup of tea only slightly too hot to drink immediately in hand and a hot water bottle held under his arm that Noah enters the bedroom again.

“Balthier?” he murmurs just above a whisper, not wanting to wake the man if he fell asleep indeed. “I’ve brought you a few things.”

* * *

Time is meaningless when sick. When Balthier's body seemed to be more interested in the mattress and pillow under him then anything else that was going on around him. It was also quiet.....or as quiet as the faint clanking in the other room allowed. Although, even that hadn't really pulled Balthier from his half slumber.

He can hear movement....the sound of a mug....and then nothing.

It's only the sound of a murmured voice....one that Balthier's mind feels comforted in despite what had happened in the past. It was clear he was hanging onto his mentor. That Gabranth would always be someone special for the way he had treated him. He was still hurt by what had happened barely a week ago....but Balthier couldn't ignore the bond.

That was something that was still there even to this day.

Gabranth's voice pulls him back to the here and now. He doesn't feel completely here but he's more aware of his surroundings. "G-gabranth?" His voice sounds weak, feverish still although that did make sense. His fever wasn't going to break that soon.

"Things." Balthier repeats and then he's blinking. "What things?"

He turns his face enough to catch sight of the other man. It's clear that he's unable to open his eyes more than half mast and that his fever was getting the better of him.

And now he's just reminded of how much his body was hurting. One thing Balthier could easily admit to was the fact that he was a bit of a baby when sick. It was never something he enjoyed and being as tactile of a person as he is....he found himself becoming needy, unable to curb wants that he would normally be able to.

* * *

Not asleep then. Noah hums a little under his breath without realising it, secretly relieved he didn’t wake Balthier up.

“Tea, you need to drink something. Also something cool for your head...and a hot water bottle.”

Noah clears his throat, feeling vaguely ridiculous standing here like this with his ‘gifts’ in hand as if he never did anything else but take care of people when it couldn’t be further from the truth. No, he feels as if he’s just bumbling around trying his best without really knowing what to do. His own experiences with his parents, his mother in particular, are all he has to draw on but it’s been so long…

The only thing he’s been taking care of since coming to Archades is his war chocobo and that’s...not exactly the same.

Involuntarily, Noah imagines Balthier with a case of terrible bed hair not unlike a chocobo’s unruly head feathers and snorts in amusement. Well, chocobos liked their heads to be stroked, right? Balthier’s disposition certainly matches his chocobo’s an awful lot on some days, brash playful bird that it is.

Perhaps he should introduce the two at some point, find some amusement in their bluster the moment he lets on why he did. There would be a lot of indignant squawking involved...

A small smirk playing around his lips, Noah lifts the edge of the blanket to shove the hot water bottle under it and against Balthier’s feet, then turns to place the cool cloth on Balthier’s forehead, allowing himself to smooth a few errant strands of hair down before he withdraws.

“The healer will be here soon, they’ll be able to give you something for relief.” Noah relays quietly. “I’ll be right outside. If you need anything, just call.”

No, Noah doesn’t particularly want to leave. But he knows he should. Right now, Balthier is vulnerable and not entirely himself. He shouldn’t take advantage of the fact and remember Balthier’s unspoken but clear request for distance.

It is still sitting wrong with Noah but he can and will at least respect Balthier’s wishes.

* * *

Tea. That was actually a very good idea except for the fact that Balthier didn't feel as if he could sit up long enough to drink it. 

The aroma was comforting and it has hazy eyes flickering back up to Gabranth's face at the same time the man is leaning over him to drape a wet cool cloth over his head. This pulls a sigh out of Balthier as his eyes fall shut again. 

Warm feet and a cool forehead. That was oddly nice and Balthier can't remember being taken care of like this....not since his mother anyway but she had passed away when he had been very young. 

He does manage to pull his hands free from the covers to press the cloth harder down against his forehead.

A healer? Oh gods....did he really need to be seen by a healer? 

Balthier makes a bit of a face at that fact but the expression doesn't hold. He's too tired to even emote for long periods of time, it seemed. At the mention of being outside of the room, Balthier can feel a sense of dejectedness fall over him. He shouldn't feel like this given the fact that he was perfectly comfortable and needed rest but he didn't want to be alone. 

He'd felt so alone all week with how much he'd isolated himself. 

"G-gabranth...." Balthier calls out weakly. "How am I going to drink the tea?" 

It was a ridiculous excuse to keep the other man by his side but in a sense, there was a bit of logic. He'd have to sit himself up to sip at the tea and he'd already dug in his roots making it quite difficult to do anything but lay there. 

Balthier knows if he were feeling better, he would cringe at how needy he sounded but....he wasn't going to worry about it for now. He'd suffered enough and the least he could do was enjoy this....because when he started feeling better things wouldn't be this comfortable.

* * *

"How am I going to drink the tea?

Noah wants to kick himself. Repeatedly. How did Balthier who was more floating on a different plane it seems than being entirely in the here and now realise the problem before he did? And it's so obvious too. How was Balthier going to drink the tea indeed?

With his hands shaking and his body seemingly protesting any movement at all?

"Right….wait here."

The moment the words leave his mouth, Noah wants to kick himself again. He couldn't have given a dumber answer if he tried, couldn't he? Wait here. As if Balthier was in a state well enough to leave, perhaps leap out of his window like he did all those days ago?!

Mentally dressing himself down for letting himself be distracted by a handsome man in his domain, his bed, Noah hurries back to the kitchen. He must have some straws somewhere, surely?

The search is as quick as it is unsuccessful and Noah returns with empty hands, a somewhat apologetic expression on his face.

"No straws I'm afraid. I'll help you sit up so you can drink…" he mutters, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Hesitating for a moment, Noah reaches out to help Balthier up and hold him comfortably with one arm while the other brings the tea mug to Balthier's lips.

...Exodus wisdom, Noah and certainly never expected to find himself in such a situation like this ever. It has a bit of resistance rearing its head inside his chest. He's a Judge Magister, not a nurse! Perhaps taking Monica up on her offer would have been the smart thing to do.

Only, taking the tired but still so handsome face of the man leaning against him in, Noah feels it fizzle out as fast as it came. 

Maybe, this would be good for him. Maybe, this could be a blessing in disguise, for him if not for Balthier. Learning how to take care of, protecting someone for once in the midst of his life of deceit, destruction and darkness sounded like it would give Noah some good karma for once.

"Here, how is this?"

* * *

Wait.... 

As if Balthier was going to get out of this comfortable warm bed to.... 

What? Go have a fever in the cockpit of the Strahl? 

Yeah, Gabranth certainly had another thing coming to him if he thought that Balthier was that willing to leave comfort in this moment. Yes, he was absolutely stubborn and if he were really upset, he would make that trek down, fever and all so that he could wrap himself in five layers of blankets and recline against an airship pilot chair....but he wasn't upset about anything except being sick. 

In fact, he was comforted by the fact that there was someone else here with him. This would have been tough on his own. 

When Gabranth returns Balthier turns his head again. He hadn't realised that he'd been staring at the ceiling for the time Gabranth had been gone. He feels the dip in the bed and then arms pulling him up so he's resting against a solid chest and shoulder. 

Balthier wonders if Gabranth can feel how he sags against him, leans into him. 

This was good. Terribly so. 

Balthier does reach up to hold onto the cloth resting on his forehead so it doesn't slip off. 

"Good." He murmurs. "You're warm." 

It was a nice warmth and the solidness of Gabranth was comforting. All Balthier is thinking about, was the one night he had fallen asleep to the sound of this man's heartbeat. He wonders if he'd be allowed to do that again.....despite his fever. Honestly, it was probably safer that Gabranth didn't linger around him....except he's not sure what kind of illness he has and if it is contagious.

It’s clear Gabranth’s warmth distracts him from the mug of tea the blond was holding up for him. 

* * *

Noah's cheeks and neck grow hot at Balthier's murmured words. Hopefully not blushing even though he doubts Balthier would even notice in his half awake/half aware state. Still, he still expects one of his agents with his work, the maintenance guy and the healer to drop buy and this situation was odd enough as it was. Practically unheard of even.

Noah would really like to keep his reputation intact, thank you very much.

Looking down at Balthier who seems to be very comfortable against him again Noah relaxes just a fraction. Remembering his speed walk with Balthier in his arms here, it might already be too late for that. But right now, here with Balthier seemingly depending on him...Noah can't find it in him to regret his actions.

"Of course I'm warm. Are you still feeling cold?" 

It is almost amusing to Noah, seeing himself try to take care of Balthier like this. Not something he has ever done before and not something he ever thought he would yet here he is. A good thing no one of those whose opinions he would have cared about could see him now, especially with him fumbling like this.

...His mother would have been proud. His father, too.

Noah swallows and vanishes the thought, instead concentrating on the man in his arms who's gone heavy and pliant against him, seemingly ready to fall asleep.

"Come, Balthier, you should probably lay back down and get back under the covers."

* * *

Balthier could probably fall back asleep in this position but he does force himself to stay awake. The reason he had been lifted was so he could try some of the tea that Gabranth had made for him.

The fact that the man had done so much already given how cold he'd been to him all week. It was surprising but in a good way and he wonders why Gabranth is being so kind.

"My body isn't sure what it is." Balthier admits with a slow exhale.

He was still awake and that was a good sign but he's pretty sure the moment Gabranth laid him back down he'd be out again. They would have to wake him up when the healer came by.

At the mention of laying back down, Balthier tilts his head back to try and glance up at his mentor. "Could I try some of that tea? Since you went out of your way to sit me upright."

He didn't want to waste the drink or at least all of the drink if he could have a few sips of it before his body dragged him under. Balthier hoped that come the next day, that he'd be fine to go back to work. As restrictive as it was to have such a rigid schedule. At least it would be a way to keep his mind occupied and at least he'd get to go to the hanger and work on the Strahl.

This fever was delaying his plans.....

* * *

Noah frowns. The tea…? His face goes slack in realisation and embarrassment for a moment.

The _tea_. 

"...Of course. My apologies." Noah mutters, suddenly glad that at least this time Balthier isn't going to make fun of him for his obvious blunder. He isn't well enough for it. The second the thought crosses his mind, Noah feels bad.

Probably why he does his utmost to be careful with helping Balthier to drink, holding both the man and the mug securely and moving slowly. The last thing he wants is Balthier choking on herbal tea of all things because his hands so used to the heat of battle and violence tipped the mug too fast. … no, he'd rather avoid that.

"Have you eve-…"

"Judge Magister Gabranth? Are you present? The door was...open." an unfamiliar voice interrupts Noah mid-sentence and he scowls, annoyed with the nerve of the intruder. "You requested a healer…?"

Oh. Yes. He did indeed. He had somehow...forgotten about that for a moment. 

Setting the mug aside and untangling himself from Balthier, Noah makes sure the young man is as comfortable as he can be before crossing the room intent on...welcoming...this healer. Must be new, he doesn't remember hearing her voice before but that is no excuse for barging into his quarters…

"...must not be home….why would...all this way for nothing….hmph."

Noah makes an effort to smooth his face into a neutral expression despite the lingering irritation, suddenly very aware he isn't wearing his helmet nor his armour. Entering his living room/lobby, Noah finds the healer, a surprisingly young woman, with her back to him looking around curiously. Noah clears his throat, slipping back into the more familiar role of Judge Magister Gabranth again.

"One generally knocks to announce oneself before entering someone's home, even when the door is open."

The woman jumps and spins around where she stands, eyes wide, first blushing a little at what he assumes is the sight of his bare face, then goes a little pale as his words register.. No doubt she picked up on the coldness in his voice despite the unthreatening if displeased words. Good.

"My apologies, Judge Magister Gabranth! I did not...I did not mean to intrude. I will not...I am sorry." She stutters which has Noah arching an unimpressed eyebrow. How had she been accepted into the palace staff like this?

"I…" she clears her throat oddly reminiscent of himself just a few moments ago, then visibly straightens up and suddenly seems much more professional than before. Interesting. "My name is Dr. Branford, I am the healer you requested, Judge Magister Gabranth. Where is my patient?"

Silently a little impressed with her quick switch to professionalism and very aware of Balthier drifting in and out of consciousness in the next room, Noah decides to refrain from giving her a hard time. He could be wrong but he is reasonably sure he has made his point and cleared the way for future dealings.

"Through here. He's running a fever but that is all I can tell."

The healer's examination went quicker than Noah expected and without a hitch, surprisingly. Although, watching Balthier's tired form, maybe not so surprisingly. The young man simply had no energy to resist or be his usual difficult self which explained how pliant he had been through being poked and prodded.

A small bag with prescriptions in hand and the promise to send what Dr. Branford hadn't had with her up to his quarters later, Noah closes the front door as much as is possible with the broken lock and returns to Balthier after snagging a large glass of water on the way.

Once again, Noah is struck with how small Balthier looks like this and how much he likes the view of him in his bed upon re-entering his bedroom.

"Dr. Branford left some medicine that should help with bringing your fever down. You should take some now and try to get some sleep."

* * *

It was almost endearing that Gabranth really didn't know what to do with Balthier. The fact that such a usually composed man could be thrown off his game by such a simple request....or the fact that Balthier had gotten so close in a non-work capacity. Seeing Gabranth as a normal individual was far different than seeing the Judge Magister in action. The man's armour gave him such a different persona than the one Balthier was slowly beginning to learn more about. This man was awkward, he had issues expressing himself, but he was also oddly tender and caring.

Quite the juxtaposition from what was being said about the man.

Cold to protect but not in nature. Balthier firmly believed that. Garbanth was not a naturally cold man....but after what had been said in a couple conversations, there were certain things that were falling into place.

He lets these thoughts distract him as he slowly sips at the tea being given to him. The interrupted question hangs in the air and Balthier feels himself being laid back down.There is a small protest but it must have gone unheard with how Gabranth strides out into the living room. 

Balthier can hear a female voice and then all of a sudden both Gabranth and this healer are in the bedroom and Balthier is being asked questions, moved around, checked for who knows what before he's left in peace again. The voices fade as the two step out, or what he imagines the two stepping out, and Balthier sighs as he sags tiredly into the mattress.

When Balthier hears Gabranth's voice again, he's turning his head, and then rolling onto his side so he can glance up at the man. He looked quite pathetic, that he knows, but at least he felt comfortable. "Where are you going to sleep?" Balthier finds himself asking. "I'm in your bed." And clearly he needed to state the obvious. Sick Balthier was clearly a very non-witty Balthier.

Another part of him almost fears that Gabranth will contact his father....ask the man to come pick Balthier up. So far there hadn't been any indication of that....but why would Gabranth keep him here if he had family that could take care of him. Little did Gabranth know is that his father was hardly in the mental state to take care of anyone let alone himself. All the man's attention on whatever research he was conducting....

The alarm might have been evident on Balthier's expression. It was the most emotion he'd managed besides pure exhaustion. "Are you going to call my father?" Balthier asks barely above a whisper and voice strained....worried with a hint of anxiousness mixed in.

* * *

The glass clinks lightly as Noah sets it down on the bedside table, the bag of pills Dr. Branford prescribed for Balthier still in his other hand. Tearing it open, Noah occupies himself with picking out the correct pills the healer had shown him, remembering the schedule and measurements she had relayed to him.

Noah counts out two of the blue vitamin supplements and one of the white ones meant to break Balthier's fever, silently mulling over his guest's question. It's an easy answer, really. As much as his back is already protesting at the mere thought, Noah will cede his bed to Balthier so he is as comfortable as he can be during his recovery.

"I'll take the couch." Noah eventually says, amused with how Balthier's usual filters and clever talking are absent for once. This blunt although earnest version of his is certainly just as charming as his usual self. The realisation makes Noah frown. That would mean…he's not just interested in the Balthier he's gotten to know, the one the young man presents to the world…? Is that...could that be?

Chaos wings, what has he gotten himself into?

"I am not going to call your father unless you want me to." 

Noah may not have all the pieces to this puzzle yet but from what Balthier has (partly unwittingly) let on so far, Noah is reasonably sure that something is not right with the Bunansa family. He isn't blind and he is one of the best at reading clues - it didn't take a genius to figure out Balthier hasn't been sleeping at home the past week. Depending on where he did, it might have caused his current illness and Noah will find out. Consequently, he has zero intention to send Balthier back home, especially given the alarm and anxiousness on his face, clearly visible without his mask in place. It wakes an odd, unusual protectiveness in Noah he hasn't known before.

If Dr. Cid wants to take his son home he'll have to come himself and go through Noah first to reach him.

"You are welcome to recover here for as long as you need, Balthier." Noah offers spontaneously, silently marvelling at himself because _this_ he hadn't planned. "Now, take these and try to sleep?"

Holding out the pills to Balthier, Noah resigns himself to at least a few days of stumbling over himself at home, of trying to make sense of his own actions and motivations, of his feelings. But somehow, this decision, this offer also feels...right?

Curious. And frightening.

* * *

Cúchulainn's enermous body, no.

No. Absolutely not. He does not want any calls to be made to his father. Maybe if it had been a year ago....but not now. Never now.

He's slowly pushing himself up so he can sit up. Balthier leans back against the headrest, his head drooping back to make contact with the headrest before he's turning it to look at Gabranth again. He fixes the cloth over his forehead, honestly, he's not sure why he did that given the fact the cloth had warmed up. Hardly cool anymore.

Balthier does extend his hand for the pills as he stares down at them the moment they're in his hand. His lips thin but he tosses them into his mouth and then reaches and picks up the glass of water. He has to focus to not spill the water as he brings it to his lips and takes a fairly long drink of it, as he swallows the pills. That alone seems to exhaust Balthier and he's moving to place the glass back down, hand shaking.

There is a look of surprise at Gabranth's invitation. He tries to conceal it but he's not sure he's managed that so well. It does have him studying the man again....that seemed to be the only thing he's been doing when he's not passed out from his fever.

His brows knit together as he exhales slowly.

"Why are you taking care of me?" Balthier can't keep himself from asking. He's eyeing Gabranth trying to see if he can capture any reaction from the man's facial features or body language. "This is outside of your responsibilities as a mentor."

* * *

It’s a struggle for Balthier to right himself and it looks almost painful, the way he inches into an upright position with trembling arms only to sag against the headboard, trying to hold the cloth to his forehead as an afterthought. But Noah doesn’t intervene. Balthier didn’t ask him to and as weak as he is right now, Noah doesn’t think babying him would do either of them any good. Least of all Balthier’s ego when he comes back to his senses.

So he refrains.

And keeps to it even while Balthier musters what little strength he has to take his pills, lifts the glass and drinks himself. Nevertheless, Noah’s muscles are tensed, ready to leap into action within a moment, Balthier dropping the glass already playing in his mind like a glimpse into the future.

It doesn’t happen, thankfully.

The look of open, honest surprise on Balthier’s face is both amusing and serves to put Noah’s doubt to rest that his invitation wouldn’t be well received, that he read the situation wrong. They _were_ sort of fighting still after all. Yes, Balthier was being oddly open to him at the moment but that didn’t mean the last week filled with strained silence on Balthier’s end and confused and uneasy acceptance on Noah’s didn’t happen.

It did and they would have to talk about it, eventually, but that could wait. Now was not the time to go into the intricacies and pitfalls of their relationship (for the lack of a better word). Somehow, Noah knows there was a difficult question coming before Balthier spoke just from the look in his eyes (and unusually expressive face) but it still takes him by surprise.

_Why was he taking care of Balthier indeed?_

Noah stills, feeling somewhat frozen to the spot standing awkwardly next to the bed, caught in Balthier’s hazel green gaze. It is unsettling in a way Noah doesn’t have the words for and he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“I don’t like seeing you ill.”

...Noah hadn’t meant to _say_ this, Zalhera strike him down! It is only in the silence reigning after his unintentional admission that Noah realises that it’s true and not merely said to throw Balthier off. He _doesn't_ like seeing Balthier like this, so weak and pale and clearly not well. And yet, he does even though it does make him feel guilty for it but - he revels in Balthier talking to him again, of him being so unguarded and clearly trusting with him.

It is a heady feeling.

“You shouldn’t…” Noah clears his throat and holds his hand out for Balthier, intending to soak the cloth again so it does it’s job again. “You don’t have to concern yourself with this right now, Balthier. Rest. You are safe here. Give me this and I’ll just soak it for you again. And lay down, I can see how taxing it is for you to sit upright."

* * *

Balthier's lips lift and then fall and then lift again in silent amusement at Gabranth's very simple and very direct answer.

Gabranth was a very special man, Balthier was starting to realise. It was like he was watching two sides of this man warring with each other. Almost as if the one side couldn't possibly accept the way the more human side was acting. The hand does pull his attention and it takes Balthier a second to realise what Gabranth is requesting. He pulls the cloth from his head and passes it to his mentor as his eyes drag up the strong arm to fall back on Gabranth's face.

Balthier is silent as he just processes what has been admitted to him and it has him thinking....

Thinking and feeling warm. Because, although their last conversation hadn't ended on the highest note, and Balthier is certain that his behaviour throughout the week hadn't really allowed for any constructive conversation, this was a huge improvement. It wasn't that Balthier hated Gabranth....it had been a lot to process, a lot of hurt mixed in with hurt that had already been there.

It was easier to see how awkward Gabranth was about all of this now that he's not thinking about the man's lips or the heady tension between them. This....this allowed him to read Gabranth a lot easier even in his feverish state. Something to preoccupy his mind while he recovered.

"Will you help me?" He asks, looking a little hopeful. "Before you leave."

* * *

When he had been younger, Noah had never had a problem with listening to his mother when he had been ill. Oh, he hadn’t been a goody-two-shoes by far, too much did he enjoy exploring the fields and forests surrounding their home and pranking constantly changing victims with Basch. But in this, confined to his bed by whatever illness he had always listened to her. Her caring but decisive tone that brokered no resistance (not that he ever tried to resist, not really) and silently, Noah had always looked up to her for it, especially when he grew older.

Now, in a situation not unlike those his mother had repeatedly found herself in with he and Basch, Noah discovered that the apparent ease with which she had commanded her family without making it seem like commands was deceptive. This _wasn’t_ as easy as she had made it look, far from it.

Granted, Noah wasn’t a very caring man in general, his coldness and apathy to others wellbeing a well known fact amongst all of the palace staff and most of the military forces, the only exception being his own direct subordinates with whom he tooks his due diligence seriously. He hadn’t looked back the moment he slid the armour of Judge Magister Gabranth on and never looked back. But now, here, from the moment he walked into his office to find one Balthier Bunansa lounging in _his_ chair things had changed.

Somehow, with his insolence and charm and obvious, sometimes infuriating intelligence Balthier had brought some of the more tender feelings back into his life. Concern, fondness, a care for someone else to name only a few. It was so unexpected that even though Noah instinctively caught on, surprised by how some things seemed to come naturally to him even, his brain hadn’t yet made sense of it.

Even though it doesn’t seem as difficult _or_ important looking at Balthier right then and the few sleepless nights from the past week seem almost silly to Noah. Perhaps it wouldn’t be too difficult to combine the ruthless, detached persona of _Judge Magister Gabranth_ with _Noah_ because Noah is smart enough to realise that was what’s happening.

His own innermost self waking up from the slumber he had forced it into back when his family fell apart and Landis burned.

Balthier’s slightly wide-eyed hopeful gaze really only allows for one answer. Noah puts the damp, merely lukewarm cloth down on the bedside table and closes the distance between them, reaching for Balthier to assist him in lying down comfortably again.

“Anything else you need?”

* * *

The arms slipping back around Balthier are a familiar comfort.

Now, he's experienced them four times and each time seemed to feel far more right than they had any _right_ to feel. It has Balthier letting out a soft sigh as he raises his own arms to wrap around Gabranth's shoulders and with the little strength that he has left in his body, he hugs the man. He presses his face against Gabranth's shoulders and holds on, perhaps for a second too long before he releases him and settles back down on the bed.

Looking up at Gabranth, Balthier can't hide the soft smile across his lips.

"No, that's all." Balthier murmurs. "Thank you, Gabranth."

A thank you for far more than just taking care of him in the here and now. The man's awkward and almost baffling emotional interactions....meant so much more with whatever realisation Balthier's sick mind had attributed to all of this.

His eyes drift closed as he lets out a slow exhale.

Maybe the things that had occurred but a week ago allowed for whatever it was was currently happening here. It had been a tough week but this....this made up for it even if he had to contend with this fever and being poked and prodded by a healer that was not his family healer.

Balthier's not sure he'd be able to thank Gabranth enough for the past ten days. Heartache and all.

* * *

Balthier’s hug was entirely unexpected but definitely not unwelcome. Still, it rendered Noah mute for a long moment, taken by surprise and overwhelmed with Balthier’s closeness. Even unwell, his illness surrounding him like a thin cloak, and the strength in his arms noticeably missing there is something about Balthier that draws Noah in and gives him a peculiar calm. In this moment, Noah's brain comes to a stop, no work and no dark thoughts on his mind, just Balthier.

It had been the same the few other times they had hugged, too.

The soft smile Balthier gives him does things to Noah and makes his stomach flip, not unlike the feeling he's had going over the chasm separating Archades and Old Archades using that damn zip line. But he can't help but to give an attempt at a lopsided but earnest smile back before he leaves the room to get Balthier something new to cool his feverish head with.

"You're welcome."


	7. The Mechanics of Nightmares and Wrong Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, **MeinNameIstJette** writes Balthier, **Caillieach** writes Noah/Gabranth.
> 
> * * *

_His father pokes his head into the room to call out a 'Goodnight' while his mother tucks him in, that gentle smile of hers everyone loved so much on her face. There's happiness and love in her eyes, the kind Noah hasn't seen in years and he revels in it. A tight knot he hadn't realised in his chest loosening._

_A hesitant smile curls Noah's lips up._

_In answer, something explodes outside the house, gunshots and screams following in the explosion's wake. The light in his mother's eyes begins to dim. "Basch? Basch! Where are you going? Come back, please come back!" her voice is heavy with tears, tone pleading as the happiness bleeds out of her form, her tears turning into blood._

_Chilled to the bone, Noah turns his head, following the desperate gaze of his mother._

_There he stands._

_Basch._

_His face hard as he looks at them, silently. If his eyes were as hard as well it would be terrible, but they are not. They are confident with his decision yet apologetic, knowing he's about to forsake his family. It is worse. Hunched over him, his mother begins to age, withering away before his eyes even as the surrounding walls begin to crumble, Basch's retreating back seemingly towering over and drawing further and further away from them at the same time._

_Noah's body feels like lead, frozen in place as his mother's body sags on top of him and cracks appear on the ceiling above his head._

_A scream claws its way up Noah's throat._

\---

Noah twitches and turns in his sleep, face tense with horror, brows knit tightly together. Restless but unable to wake up. Cold sweat beads on his skin and he shivers without waking up, a low desperate moan interrupting the stillness of the night.

"...no….no…"

* * *

It took about two days before the fever properly broke. Balthier had been forced to rest, and he hadn't been able to leave Gabranth's living quarters. In a sense it was a self-imposed prison but his prison master was unyielding and although Gabranth wasn't always around....Balthier didn't have the energy to test any limits.

And....the bed was quite comfortable. A contrast to what he had been sleeping in for the past week. Balthier did feel guilty that that was two nights that Gabranth hadn't been able to sleep in his bed and this would mark the third one.

It's the dead of night when Balthier slips out of bed for a quick bathroom break. It's only when he tries to quietly slip back to Gabranth's room that he pauses when he hears something.

_No?_

Balthier is about to say something but when nothing more comes from Gabranth....slowly the pieces start to fall into place. That was not a no of disapproval....but there was fear in Gabranth's voice.

He's not sure if this is a good idea or a terrible one, but Balthier makes his way towards the couch. He doesn't need the light to see that the man was clearly having a nightmare.

A part of Balthier wonders if he should just migrate back to the room and let Gabranth sleep through this....or if it would be kinder to wake the man, in spite of the fact that this was a vulnerability that Gabranth...maybe didn't want to share with him.

The issue was that looking at Gabranth's face contorted in fear....

This didn't sit well with Balthier at all. 

He's cautious as he kneels down beside Gabranth, wondering if he's even doing the right thing or not. He'd have to take whatever outcome came seeing as he was committing to waking the man. Balthier knows that if someone woke him from a terrible nightmare, he'd only be grateful, upset....but grateful.

Balthier is gentle in the way he grabs Gabranth's arm and he starts to shake it lightly. "Gabranth...." Balthier whispers as loudly as he feels comfortable whispering. "You're having a nightmare....Gabranth, wake up."

It seems so ineffective....but he felt as if anything else would be too intrusive.

* * *

_This was it, then. Noah can see light shining through the cracks in the ceiling even though it’s dark outside, his mother’s body on top of him pressing the air from his lungs, making him feel as if he’s slowly choking to death. Vaguely, Noah knows that this can’t be real, that this has to be a dream, this never happened-_

_But it is difficult to remember when the world is coming down around him while he’s trapped in place with a once beloved rotting body holding him down._

_More explosions are happening nearby, the intervals between them getting shorter and shorter, sounding increasingly closer and Noah begins to count in his head, both to distract himself and to time his approaching death when a voice, a familiar voice drowns the cacophony out in a whisper._

_”...anth….you’re….nightma-...Gabranth, wake up.”_

_The voice feels like a balm to his raw soul._

\---

Noah jolts awake and sucks in a huge breath, like a drowning man coming up for air. He chokes on his own breath, descending into a coughing fit lasting an endlessly long moment. Heart racing, threatening to jump out of his chest, Noah’s hands fist in the fabric tangled around him, not sure where he is.

It takes him another long moment to recognize his surroundings, as shrouded in the dark as they are. The stench of death, smoke and ash lingers in his airways. He feels trapped. But, chest heaving, Noah can’t find the strength in him to free himself from what he realises is his blanket wrapped tight around him, too shaken has the nightmare left him, still lingering in the forefront of his mind. Was this...was this why he had felt immobilised in his dream?

Only slowly does the rush of fear and adrenaline fade and his panicked breathing slows down. Despite his usual awareness of his surroundings, it takes Noah another minute of trying to center himself to become aware of the figure standing next to the couch, of the warm hand on his arm. It is a familiar form, somehow suggesting comfort to Noah’s tired mind.

“Balthier…?”

Once again, the memory of the whisper that dragged him out of his own personal hell, born from what Noah recognises as memories, floats through his mind. The same gentle tone, the same familiar voice...Balthier’s voice.

Forcing one of his hands to let its tight grip go, Noah brings one arm up to cover his eyes. A nightmare. Just a nightmare.

And Balthier saw.

Humiliation and hysteria war inside his chest, resulting in a quiet, overwhelmed chuckle that ends as fast as it began.

* * *

Balthier has enough mind to let go of Gabranth's arm as the man jolts up. It startles him a little, but he understands given what kind of nightmare this man must have at night. Balthier has not forgotten that Gabranth comes from the former Republic of Landis....and that Landis is now gone.

The type of trauma that Gabranth has probably experienced....it's not something that Balthier could ever relate to.

Balthier has had a fairly comfortable life until this point.

It's when he hears Gabranth say his name that it pulls him from his thoughts. It was then the chuckle that has Balthier really looking worried. Although, now in this situation, what did he do? Did he offer comfort to a man who probably didn't want any?

A very thin line to balance.

So, Balthier clears his throat a bit. "I hear tea helps soothe the nerves. Care for a cup? I was going to make one for myself." That was a lie, but maybe distracting Gabranth from _all_ of this would help him.

He's never been the person to comfort anyone. Unless, Balthier counted the times when he was younger and he would go sit in his father's lap at night, whether or not that was comforting....his father always had made it seem that way.

This was.....new territory completely.

Balthier wants to touch, but he also doesn't want to step over any boundaries that he's not aware of. These boundaries were hardly the ones that he wanted to be careless with. Emotions were finicky after all, and Balthier was more than aware of the intricacies of the hume mind.

He slowly starts to get up, round the couch, and into the kitchen where he fills the kettle and sets it to boil.

Balthier can already see one flaw in his plan. He's only stepped foot in this kitchen to re-fill his water glass, but never for anything else. In fact, this was probably one of the more foreign locations Balthier has been in yet.

He's carefully opening cabinets until he finds the one with mugs and he pulls two out. He wasn't thirsty but he might as well play into his small ruse, well-meaning ruse though.

"Gabranth.....where do you keep your tea?" Balthier asks sighing softly because as much as he'd be willing to look through all the drawers, this was much quicker.

It takes Noah a moment to make sense of Balthier's words, but as his hammering heartbeat begins to slow down, he becomes more aware of his surroundings again. Letting his arm fall to the side of his head, Noah blinks in the semi-darkness trying to make out Balthier's face, the room only lit sparsely by the moon's pale light.

* * *

A cup of tea...sounds like a good idea, maybe? His mother swore on the magical healing properties of a good cup of tea when...Noah stops the train of thought right there, unable to think of his mother in the wake of his nightmare. Actually, come to think of it, the fact that more memories of her, his family and life as it used to be came up the past few weeks, it might just have been what brought this on.

It is not the first nightmare of this kind but Noah hasn't had one as bad as this in a while, the images of his family and lost home now usually replaced with those of the war.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, tries to say something, anything, answer Balthier's question- He doesn't. His tongue feels too big and too heavy in his mouth, refusing to shape the words forming in Noah's mind and before he regains control of his body, Balthier leaves for the kitchen. Panic flares for a moment - Noah doesn't want Balthier to go! - but he forces himself to breathe through it, then heaves himself up into an upright position.

It's over, the nightmare is over, he's awake now. And he won't give this damn dream any power over him, not for longer anyway. Noah grits his teeth, untangles himself from the blanket, and gets up to follow the sounds Balthier is making in the kitchen.

The utter domesticity of Balthier in his kitchen, wearing only his sleep wear, going through the drawer finally helps Noah settle back into his skin again and for a moment, leaning against the doorway for support, Noah allows himself to just watch. Soaking this image in like a starving man to bury the images of the shambles of his life with something new. Something good and alive. With Balthier.

"Drawer in the corner. Above the sink." He croaks in reply to Balthier's soft question, then clears his throat. That...hasn't sounded like him at all. Far from the always collected Judge Magister, he normally presents to the world and shame floods his senses before he reminds himself that this is Balthier. Just Balthier.

The man he's allowed to see more of himself than anyone else before anyway, and who returned the favour. It's okay.

"...Sorry you had to see this."

* * *

Balthier moves towards the corner drawer and opens it, glancing through the selection. He was pleasantly surprised that it was a decently sized one. He finds a nice chamomile, and he pulls two bags out before depositing them into the mug. The hiss of the kettle alerts him that the water is ready, and he moves to pour them two mugs.

He is glancing at Gabranth through his periphery, trying to gauge how the man was feeling without outright asking him.

_Tread carefully, Balthier. You have no idea what he's been through, what haunts him, and why he never talks about it._

It's the apology that has Balthier's brows knitting together. An apology? For something that was out of his control and something that Balthier may have not seen if he hadn't been up. There was no need for an apology, and it was a little irritating that Gabranth thought it necessary at all.

Balthier stands there with two mugs in his hands and a very unimpressed look on his features. "If I apologized for falling ill and taking over your bed, would you be upset?" Balthier asks as he sets the mugs back on the counter so he can move closer to the man in question.

"Because listening to you apologize for something you have no control over is...." Balthier's lips thin. "Is not something I ever thought I'd hear."

Hazel greens glance up to meet Gabranth's darker gaze. "I can't imagine what you've had to deal with in your life, Gabranth. However, I'm not surprised that many of your nights are haunted by your past."

Balthier inhales softly as he steps back to grab the mugs. "If you want to talk about it, I'll listen, or if you'd rather not, I understand as well. What I suggest we do is enjoy these warm mugs of tea somewhere more comfortable than this kitchen."

He motions towards the living room with his head and he slowly walks past Gabranth, holding his gaze before he disappears from the kitchen to set the mugs down on Gabranth's coffee table.

* * *

It is calming to watch Balthier’s movement. It belies the hint of extravagance Balthier usually carries like a very thin, almost unnoticeably but still there cloak creating the slightly over the top but incredibly refined image he’s been presenting to the public. Here, in Noah’s kitchen, he moves with a quiet elegance, no motion too exaggerated or more than is needed for his task.

It is soothing to Noah’s frazzled mind.

Noah knows he’s staring, his eyes following Balthier from the counter to the drawer to the kettle back to the mugs, but he can’t find it in him to care. Balthier doesn’t seem to care. His presence fills the cracks in Noah’s soul and helps him to seal the memories away, which is almost ironic considering Noah caring for Balthier by trying to remember what his mother would do is probably what brought this on. That and the fact that Balthier was the first person to show him trust expecting nothing in return in this city since his arrival, which left Noah more confused than he wants to admit, not knowing what to make of it.

Everyone else here tolerates him, perhaps respects him in some capacity behind the open contempt from people like Bergan or the often poorly hidden promise of a knife to the back if he isn’t careful.

Not so Balthier.

It is as refreshing as it is baffling Noah, but Balthier has given him no reason to doubt his sincerity and Noah feels surprisingly _safe_ in his presence. Safe to be himself, to not have to hide behind his walls. Belatedly, he realises that it is this trust and honest interest in him that made him want to be more open with Balthier. That led to the past two weeks' actions.

Balthier’s question takes him out of his head and back to the present, and Noah’s brows frown in confusion.

“Of course not. You didn’t choose to fall ill and besides, I offered my bed to you.” Noah murmurs, then pauses. Even before Balthier continues, the apparent displeasure with him obvious on his face, Noah realises why he asked him that question. Smart. Very smart. And true.

Noah lets his eyes fall to the floor beneath his bare feet, unable to hold Balthier’s earnest gaze for long, but he does follow Balthier back into the living room. The couch looks rumpled, his discarded blanket thrown haphazardly over it hanging halfway onto the floor, and Noah hesitates briefly before he resolutely pushes the lingering vestiges of his nightmare aside with the swathes of fabric to sit down.

Silence falls between them. Noah’s mind is a jumble of too many thoughts and white static noise at the same time and it is difficult to grasp what he wants to say but eventually, the words come.

“I’d rather...not talk about it. Not right now. I appreciate the offer.” he finally settles on, voice not as rough as before, but it comes out oddly clipped. Noah’s lips thin in exasperation with himself. “If it counts, I haven’t had one as bad as this in a long time.”

His mind balks at the word ‘nightmare’ and the part that feels more like himself, slowly regaining more control the longer he is in Balthier’s unassuming company, rolls its eyes at himself. It would have been difficult to slip back into his Judge Magister mindset if it had been anyone but Balthier with him here. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel the need to try.

“Did I wake you?” Hazel eyes meet hazel-greens, only a hint of vulnerability visible but visible, nonetheless. Knowingly.

* * *

Balthier shrugs lightly, unbothered by the fact that Gabranth didn't want to discuss what had occurred.

He takes a seat in the armchair across from Gabranth as he makes himself incredibly comfortable on it. Balthier hadn't bothered turning on a light. There was something about seeing clearly that would break the strange spell this night had cast upon them. The domesticity but at the same time the fact that neither of them had to worry about the facts their masks weren't up, the fact that they didn't have to hide anything. Not completely. The darkness on its own concealed enough to give small comfort.

Balthier shifts in his seat as he hooks his legs over one of the chair's arms and reclines comfortably against the side of the other. He elegantly hooks his ankles before stretching over the other armrest and then finally settling.

He tilts his head to the side at the same time Gabranth's gaze meets his own. Oddly perfect timing.....then again Gabranth catching him mid dizzy spell all those days back was oddly perfect timing too. This was starting to become a trend with them, it would seem.

"No." Balthier answers. "I was already awake."

He lets out a soft hum as he rests his ear against his own shoulder. His actions most likely reminding his mentor that he was barely an adult. "I've also done more than enough sleeping these past few days that I'm quite certain my body has had enough." 

Balthier hears the vulnerability in Gabranth's voice, and a part of him wants to invite him back to Gabranth's room. Balthier could hold Gabranth this time....let the man find some restful sleep for once.

He awkwardly and yet somehow elegantly to a degree reaches for his mug, manages to get a hold of it, and brings it close to cradle between his hands. The heat is hardly an issue, given the fact that he'd worked them raw on various mechanical projects in the past and present.

Balthier can't help but take in the mussed up look of this man. It was a sight he hadn't thought he'd get to see as often as he's been allowed. It was humbling....and it had Balthier feeling warmth, comfort....and a sense of home he hasn't felt in a long time. That was the most startling part of it all. He shouldn't be feeling something as strong as that when they'd only known each other properly for over ten days.

It made Balthier wonder if he was still quite sick and this was just a symptom (he knows it's not true, but the implications of a feeling like that at a time like this....it was frightening as much as it was exhilarating).

'You'll have my company until you decide to sleep again." Balthier murmurs, adds....so Gabranth knows he's not intending to leave. Not unless Gabranth requests it himself.

* * *

The moonlight bathing his living room in shades of grey and blue is soothing to Noah’s sense, creating an illusion of another world. One where it was okay to drop any and all walls. One that felt oddly intimate and one Noah is glad to share with Balthier.

The younger man’s show of his youth puts his maturity into sharp relief and puts a small but genuine smile on Noah’s lips. Balthier probably doesn’t know, but somehow he’s doing everything right, pushing all the right buttons in Noah’s mind to tether him to the present and ban the dark images from his mind. It’s startling, but in all the right ways.

Noah reaches for one of the steaming mugs, both craving its warmth and to have something to hold on to. Even if it’s just a bit of ceramic.

“That is fair enough. You did sleep a lot the past few days.” he murmurs. “How are you feeling?”

Camomile has never been a favourite of Noah’s. Honestly, he vaguely remembers putting it into his bag a while ago without really thinking about it other than a long forgotten memory of his parents swearing by its healing capabilities. Noah never cared for the taste. Not then and not...until recently, at least. Right now, the subtle scent somehow reminding him of those days they brought in hay in what feels like another life feels surprisingly calming.

A reminder of better times.

Noah’s eyes flick up to Balthier over the rim of his mug as he gently blows onto the steaming liquid.

A reminder of care. Maybe a beginning of new memories as well.

Somehow, the warmth radiating through the ceramic walls in his hands seems to spread slowly through his arms, the rest of his body and into the room around them. The lingering chill leaves Noah, and another feeling takes its place. One he can’t name yet but one that he is sure has less to do with the tea and everything with the man lounging in his armchair, eyes soft as far as he can tell in the dim light.

It is the odd comfort of this entirely new situation; the security shrouding this room from the outside world in this moment that has Noah dismissing any notions of concealing himself from Balthier’s knowing eyes.

“I doubt I will find sleep again tonight.” he admits after a moment, voice a lot calmer than it had been just a few minutes before. “But I’d welcome your company for a while. Just until you feel ready to return to sleep.”

* * *

Balthier can't help but huff a small chuckle. "Because more sleep is what I need."

He sips at his tea, decides he'll drink it anyway despite the taste and lack of sugar, and then shifts to sit properly so he can set the tea down on the coffee table again.

"I feel better. Still a little weak if I try to think too much or do too much but it's better overall." Balthier finally answers, despite that being the first question Gabranth had asked him.

There are a few things on Balthier's mind, and he's not sure how best to ease Gabranth's heavy heart even more. He hasn't caught onto the fact that it seemed as if his presence alone was doing a fine enough job. However, now that he's studying Gabranth a little more....he wonders if he should or not.

Except, a part of him wants to....

Share what he's working on with someone who might care.

"What do you know of airships?" Balthier asks in what seems to be out of the blue. "Would you like to see what I've been working on?"

He pauses for a second at how that may sound, and then he waves a dismissive hand up. "In my spare time, outside of my judgeship, I can assure you."

There was a lilt of excitement at the prospect of being able to discuss this with someone, even if that someone may not know what he's talking about. Gabranth didn't have to understand....but maybe he'd find it interesting to a degree. It was hard to tell with those who didn't necessarily have a mind for science. Then again, Balthier wasn't sure what Gabranth's hobbies were outside of being a Judge Magister....

He had heard that life as a Judge Magister didn't lend to having much free time. Which meant that....aside from work Gabranth probably did little else, which was....a shame really. Not a life that Balthier fancied living, even though he was certainly heading in that direction.

That is....if he stays.....

Balthier's heart twists a bit at those words and then seeing the man in front of him.

Oh no.

Staying would not do him well....but....leaving Gabranth....

Balthier pushes those thoughts from his head for the moment. Right now, he may have an opportunity to talk to someone about his project, and that was the more thrilling part of right now. Any thought of hurt could be dealt with at a later date; he was going to enjoy this even with the slight heaviness that had brought them to this moment.

* * *

Noah nods, satisfied with Balthier’s answer. It is honest as far as he can tell without being able to discern the minute expressions in the man’s face as he would be in broad daylight or, well, better lighting in general. Not that he wants to switch the light on. This is fine. Their little bubble of privacy, in a sense.

“Well, you were quite out of it for a while. It makes sense that recovery would take a while, although I am...glad that you are feeling better.”

Noah scowls under cover of the darkness, displeased with how stilted that sounded. He meant it. Means it. Whatever. But somehow, expressing his thoughts and feelings still doesn’t come as easily as he suddenly wishes it would. When did he become such a stick in the mud? He’s only 23, he shouldn’t be acting - or feeling - like a fifty-year-old.

Just another thing the Empire took from him, he supposes.

The fact that Balthier had been quiet for a short while only registers when his voice breaks the silence again, sounding - curious. Noah isn’t quite sure what would describe the undertone swinging in it best. Apprehensive, maybe? Hesitant?

“Airships?” Noah repeats, bewildered, completely caught off guard. What? Where did...how did Balthier jump to this topic from...What? The confusion rolls off of Noah, but he can’t find it in him to care. He does contemplate the question seriously despite its random nature, though. Knowing Balthier, he has a reason to ask. “Just the basics, I’d say. Never had a reason to study up on it.”

Balthier doesn’t give Noah time to ponder or ask why the odd question before he continues and….what? Working on? As in an airship?

Noah feels a little lost but interested despite himself. Despite or perhaps because of Balthier’s hurried assurance that he only worked on it - _what?_ \- in his spare time, he gets the feeling that what is happening here is more important than it seems. Despite its seemingly random nature, it seems as if Balthier is sharing something very private with him.

Noah sits up straighter, his full attention on Balthier.

“I would very much like to see what you’ve been working on if you’re willing to show me.” Noah says slowly, mind going a mile a minute. As far as he knows, all airships except the few privately owned ones are under lock and key, watched by the military as they are not only expensive but dangerous, even the lesser armed transport airships. It is entirely possible Balthier possesses an airship of his own, his family is well off, but…”An airship, you say?”

This man never ceases to surprise him, it seems.

And he is scarily efficient in getting Noah out of his head, in distracting him.

Huh.

* * *

Balthier nods as he gets up, and he makes a beeline into Gabranth's room.

He returns minutes later with a set of reading glasses perched on his nose and a leather-bound book in his hands. Instead of sitting back where he had been, Balthier moves to sit right next to Gabranth, awfully close at that. However, it made sense when Balthier opens up his book. It cracks open already, signalling to Gabranth that it was well loved and quite old.

Each page held beautiful sketches of an airship, with alterations, equations, and schematics of improvements.

Balthier lightly clears his throat as his eyes roam over the first page. It's clear it's been a while since he's looked at this particular page.

"Airships are a fairly recent hume invention." Balthier begins, even though he's more than aware that Gabranth knows this. "The past 75 years has shown great improvement in flight and Hume capacity for ever evolving technology."

Hazel-green's glance up briefly to make sure Gabranth is following. "As impressive as the airships we see on a daily basis and even the airships the Archadian military employs, they're always ways of improving them. Honestly, after riding in quite a few....they're boringly slow."

Balthier flips the page to a bigger sketched out image of what would one day be the Strahl. "I've been doing some testing but I think I've figured out how to make an airship faster without adding weight to it's haul or causing the engine to overheat after minutes of use." 

Lips pursing lightly. "I haven't been able to do a full test in the air....that's something further in the future. However, I've already figured out how to cut down the weight of bigger ships to effectively and efficiently use the space in the ship for far more important things, such as hume cargo. If the nature of the airship is for passenger use. Imagine travelling in shorter times across Ivalice. We could connect the continents so common people can explore and learn."

Balthier can't hide the excitement in his tone at the idea of improving lifestyle for everyone, not only the wealthy.

* * *

Noah doesn’t know what he expected, but it certainly isn’t Balthier leaving the room only to come back _wearing glasses_.

Balthier switches the light on and Noah stares, mouth suddenly as dry as Dalmasca’s Estersand.

Glasses. Balthier. _Glasses_.

Ultima help him, the younger man looks _incredible_ in glasses. And...he seems to be _glowing_ from within with excitement and a passion Noah hasn’t seen before. It is jarring and utterly enchanting and good lord, Noah realises with a jolt, that is a familiar heat beginning to pool in the pit of his stomach.

It is as unexpected as it is not because it’s not exactly the first time. But those glasses...somehow, they frame his face in all the right ways, draw attention to his beautiful hazel-green eyes and the intelligence shimmering in them at any given time. Unbidden, the memory of Balthier stepping into his space to kiss him comes back to him.

Noah swallows around the sand lodged in his throat and tries to concentrate on what Balthier is saying and what he’s pointing out to him in that well-worn book of his but his gaze keeps straying back to the man next to him. To his face, marvelling at how animated it seems, at Balthier’s lips excitedly chattering away about airships and dynamics and improvements and...Noah is entirely, irrevocably _smitten_.

No sense in denying it any longer (which he had tried, despite the events following their first kiss).

The passion for something Balthier loves suits him well. Here, in this moment, only wearing his pyjamas, hair far from as perfectly coiffed as usual and those damn glasses on his nose Balthier has never been more himself or more beautiful and Noah has never felt more unsettled as he does now.

_Goddamn it, Chaos, keep your damn fingers out of my life._

Noah doesn’t need chaos in his life. Doesn’t want it, he’d rather finally find a little peace. Except, looking at Balthier, feeling his warmth seep into him where they touch...he does. He wouldn’t mind Balthier’s particular chaos in his life.

It takes a monumental effort to tear his eyes off Balthier and focus his traitorous mind on what he is actually showing him and…

Airships. Lots of them. Pages upon pages of models, schematics and notes.

Despite his distraction and the temptation leaning against him excitedly tracing some of the lines of one particular schematic drawing of an older model, Noah is drawn in by the clear lines and sheer information Balthier has managed to cram onto the pages. This looks incredibly professional and well thought out, and who would have known?

Balthier is not only intelligent, he’s a goddamn genius going by this. Improving airship technology to increase speed without adding on weight? Incredible. Practically revolutionary. But most importantly of all - Balthier’s genuine wish to better the lives of Ivalice’s people is really touching to Noah.

It isn’t exactly unexpected, Balthier has never given Noah the feeling that he didn’t care about other people despite his occasional aloofness. But it still takes him by surprise.

"Balthier.” Noah eventually interrupts the young man. “This is...this is incredible. Did you come up with all of this?”

* * *

Balthier glances up when Gabranth interrupts, and the tips of his ears tint just a little at the awe in the man's voice.

He hadn't been expecting that....or that Gabranth would be all too interested in what he had to say. As he flips through the pages, there are other schematics of Imperial ships and fleets. More notes, there were even some questions that Balthier had scrawled out in his messy script. Some pages looked a little dirtier than others, almost as if he'd accidentally spilled a bit of oil or tea.

The question does pull a hum out of Balthier. "Obviously, I took from what was already there to make my improvements. I can't take all the credit when scientists such as Leo-Al Gali who conceived these basic theories and paved the way for what we see today."

Balthier's finger traces over the lines of a smaller airship. "The improvements are all my own and some of the equations I've come up with as well. I just went back to the basics and a good many of what I have in here is from trial and error with smaller prototypes."

There is a slight pause. Archadia couldn't get her hands on these though....not with the warpath she has already carved through Ivalice.

Balthier is slowly flipping through more pages, humming thoughtfully as if something else came to mind. He pulls the pen that was tucked away in his book and he flips to near the back of the book where he starts jotting down numbers and letters, an equation clearly.

"For later." He comments to Gabranth as if the man would know the purpose or meaning of the equation.

Balthier turns the pen in his hands and gently taps at his cheek. "Would you like to look at it all?" Balthier asks as he closes the book and slides it onto Gabranth's lap.

* * *

The rendition of each ship was impressive and lifelike which was a testament to Balthier's artistic abilities on top of his scientific ones.

Incredible. Truly incredible.

Not Balthier’s startling intelligence, although that is clearly far higher than average. No, _Balthier_ is incredible. Noah has always prided himself in being rather good at reading people, it’s one of the reasons he was appointed head of the 9th Bureau - that and his tenacity among other things - but this, he hadn’t seen coming.

An oversight on his part perhaps, except there had been no signs, no obvious ones at least. Which tells him a lot about Balthier and his ability to hide his true thoughts from those around him. Noah was aware that what he’s seen so far of the man under the public persona was due to Balthier _allowing_ him to see but this…

It’s a huge sign of trust, and Noah will treat it as such.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Balthier. Gali may have laid the foundation, but you clearly took it to another level entirely.” Noah says, mildly distracted by the slight flush to Balthier’s ear tips but focused on the man himself and what he says now that he manages to not space out again. “Credit where credit is due. I doubt many would be able to work on this level.”

Balthier scribbling down some notes ‘for later’ proves his point and Noah just arches a brow at the young man as if to say ‘See? Told you so.’ It is interesting to watch and witness Baltier’s thought process, even though Noah only understands about half of the equation. It is enough to know that no, not anyone could do this.

This was one of the high arts.

“I’d like that very much.” Noah confirms and gives Balthier a tiny smile in gratitude for the offer. This was good. Safe. It wasn’t just a great distraction keeping out of his own mind, it was interesting and engaging and Noah likes that he’s getting to know more about Balthier far too much.

Thumbing through the book slowly and attentively, interspersed with a question here or there, Noah stops at the elaborate sketch of an airship model he does not recognise immediately. “What about this one? I know the current imperial airship models, but I am not familiar with this one.”

The painstaking detail with which the sketch was done speaks of a fascination, perhaps even love, that is there in the other renditions in this book, but not to the same extent.

* * *

Balthier's eyes light up when Gabranth stops on the two pages with a very elaborate drawing of the Strahl.

"She's not Imperial." Balthier answers. "She'll be the greatest airship of her time."

He's leaning closer to Gabranth, practically pressed against his side as he looks over the sketch. "I've named her the Strahl."

Balthier pauses for a second as if unsure on whether he should tell his mentor that he was currently working on her and that she was reaching the final last touches, or if he should keep it to himself.

"I designed her for me." Balthier comments, lips thinning a bit. "My father helped...a long time ago. She's gone through different phases and is much more practical now..." _But she means the world to me._

"Once constructed. She will reach speeds up to 400 miles per hour. Unfortunately, she won't be able to hold that speed for more than a small amount of time. I'd have to test how long that is. According to my calculations, it should be for at least 15 to 20 mins. Long enough that anyone pursuing you will never be able to catch up."

That was...yet to be tested. Testing day would be stealing day. That too goes unsaid.

* * *

“The greatest airship of her time?” Noah can’t help the smile tugging on his lips. The pride in Balthier’s voice is unmistakable and more endearing than it has any right to be. “The Strahl...it’s a good name.”

It is. Somehow, the entire airship screams ‘Balthier’ to Noah, even just as a few lines on paper smudged with unidentifiable liquids in places. The care that had gone into creating this airship, of planning how to improve her, achieve those 400 miles per hour stands out immediately. 

Noah has no doubt that this airship means the world to Balthier. It is clear in the look in his eyes and his body language, an odd mix between pride and excitement vibrating through his frame - which makes sense - and tension in his shoulders. As if he wasn’t sure sharing this with Noah was the right or perhaps smartest thing to do.

“She suits you.” Noah offers, leaning a little more against Balthier’s side. Just enough to give him the contact with his body, still wrecked with the tiniest tremors although they are finally dying down, craves. “I am sure you will figure out how to solve the speed and endurance. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

True. Noah really does believe that if not Balthier’s bright mind, his obvious love for this airship will push him forward, push him to do better until he has tuned her up into the best version of her. The mention of Balthier’s father, however...doesn’t go unnoticed. Nor does the short pause right after mentioning him.

Noah could be wrong, but it seems that one way or another Cidolfus Bunansa is somehow involved in Balthier’s hesitancy to go home. For all Noah knows of Balthier’s family and the little clues the younger man has dropped without noticing, he may even be the root of the problem, but for now, it isn’t something Noah can confirm or refute.

But he can do a little digging, gather some intel to satisfy his own curiosity and find out what is weighing so heavily on Balthier’s shoulders, only really visible when he thinks himself unobserved.

Until then…

“Have you ever thought about requesting a transfer to the airship brigade? I can see how much you love this just from listening to you and seeing these calculations.” Noah asks, tone serious and entirely earnest. Even though he doesn’t want to ask this question - Noah is a selfish man and he balks at letting Balthier go...but he’s also unwilling to compromise this bright-eyed young man’s happiness by keeping him by his side for just a little longer.

The words feel like grit in his mouth, but Noah pushes them out and somehow manages to keep his unwillingness out of his voice. Well, mostly. “If you wanted me to, I could initiate contact and recommend you. Although…I would hate to let you go.”

* * *

The moment Balthier feels Gabranth lean back against him, he's smiling, not that he hadn't been due to the nature of their conversation. In fact, this entire topic had lifted Balthier's spirit and mood. He hadn't had anyone listen to him so intently except for his father when his father had been in his right mind. However, this was different in the sense that there wasn't the pride of a father....but his mentor was impressed with him. 

Gabranth, a man that had been essentially a stranger more than 10 days ago, was impressed with something that Balthier was passionate about. And he knows this wasn't really the first time.....there had been the time with his report, but this was still different. This was far more important to Balthier and in parts....it did make him feel a little vulnerable. 

This was showing Gabranth a part of himself that he had not shown anyone but family. 

_She suits you._

And wasn't that ever the best feeling in existence? To be complimented by Gabranth about a ship he'd poured his heart and soul into. "You have quite a bit of faith in me." He feels his ears heat up again. 

He's not sure why he feels almost humbled by this experience, it had something to do with Gabranth again....he imagines. 

At the mention of transfer, Balthier's brows knit together. "No." He answers immediately. He knows that Gabranth means no harm in suggesting this, but absolutely not. This could not fall in the hands of the Empire. 

Balthier pulls his notebook from Gabranth's lap, closing it, and pulling back further from him. 

"No." He repeats, and he's trying not to be upset that Gabranth had even suggested it given the fact the man didn't know. 

Gabranth is still under the impression that Balthier cares about his position as a judge. That he cares about Arcahdes and her military might. This could not be used for war. It should not be used for war. He would not let it be used for war. 

Although, a part of Balthier wonders if he should have ever shown Gabranth it to begin with, if this is what he was suggesting. "I understand why you're suggesting it but no. That's the last thing I want." 

He would be forced to work on things that hold no passion for him. Balthier would essentially be selling his soul to the war machine and...and he refused. No. That was not the life for him. None of this was, but he was humouring his insane father! 

Balthier pulls back even more, looking a little pale. 

"Gabranth....I...." Balthier's mouth snaps shut, and he's swallowing around a lump, it's very evident the change in mood. "Just no." He repeats.

"I didn't show you this to ask for a transfer...."

* * *

Balthier goes from shy but genuine joy to firm refusal so fast that it leaves Noah feeling a bit rattled, which he tries very hard not to show to not unsettle Balthier even more.

That 'No', repeated again and again, is as clear as a refusal such as this can get and without a doubt, Noah knows he miscalculated.

He's made a mistake. And by the looks of it, the quiet betrayal in Balthier's eyes, not an insignificant one.

Fuck.

Noah doesn't resist when Balthier almost snatches his notebook back from him. Instead, he's letting his hands fall away from it and keeps them well out of range and his eyes off the book. For a moment, Noah wonders if he should put a little distance between them, give Balthier some space, but ultimately decides against it.

Balthier does pull back from him a little, but something inside Noah tells him that it's important for the younger man to know that his answer to Noah's offer didn't put him off, that it doesn't matter to him either way. Although Noah would rather still have Balthier's warmth pressed against his side. It had been rather nice.

"I know you didn't and I see now that I shouldn't have offered. I apologise." Noah replies calmly, gaze open and his tone genuine. "I meant nothing by it other than that I want you to enjoy your work as much as you can and airships seem to make you happy. I know intelligence work does not even though you are good at it."

And isn't that the truth? Balthier is good at it, very good even as the case of Ffamfrit's Kiss has shown so far. But the Judge's armour doesn't seem to fit Balthier entirely, not quite aligning at the seams. It is barely noticeable if one doesn't look for it. But Noah did - the position as Judge, no matter his qualifications, doesn't suit Balthier. It seems to be suffocating him, a mere chore instead of the honour most Archadians associate with it.

One Balthier wears well considering the unhappiness sitting right underneath his skin and armour. It's interesting. Noah was under the impression Balthier signed up for military service on his own, but perhaps that hadn't been the case.

It is a curious realisation, but given what he knows of Balthier it doesn't surprise Noah. Not really.

What is surprising - just a little - is the vehemence with which Balthier reacted to his proposal. Definitely not normal and ringing alarm bells raising suspicion in the back of his mind but Noah ignores it for now. This wasn't the time to try to find another puzzle piece of Balthier, this was the time for backtracking and showing that the trust Balthier had placed in him wasn't misplaced.

"Balthier." Noah's eyes seek Balthier's but can't seem to connect. "Balthier, look at me."

Only when he is sure that he has Balthier's full attention does he continue, suspecting that this was very important. 

"I promise I will keep the existence of this book as well as your knowledge, interests and plans about and for airships to myself. No one will know, not from me. I swear it."

He means it, too. Given Balthier's genius and skill, Noah should actively try to convince the young man to change his mind in his capacity as Judge Magister. But there's a man underneath the mask and Noah meant it when he said that within these walls, he was just Noah, not one of Archadia's highest ranking weapons.

And now he needed to prove to Balthier that he would keep his word.

"Why don't you put that book away and I'll forget about its existence?" Noah offers mildly. "I did like listening to you talking about your passion, but I understand if you'd rather keep it to yourself."

It wouldn't be easy, but Noah would work with it, go along with Balthier's wishes. But for now, he would try to put him at ease again, even just a little.

"If you feel like it, I would greatly enjoy your company for a little longer." Noah ventures ahead. "But there is no obligation if you'd rather try to get a little more sleep?"

As far as excuses went, this one was a poor, well, not really subtle one. But despite his own wish that Balthier would stay with him a little longer, Noah feels he should offer it at least, just in case.

* * *

None of this work made him happy. 

That was the issue, but he'd be hard pressed to tell Gabranth that now. He couldn't just....stop, if he decided to stop then sticking around wouldn't be an option for him anymore. Leaving would be the only course of action. Which had been the plan up until he had gotten ill and forced to rest. The repairs and upgrades to the Strahl were still ongoing, Balthier still had at least months’ worth of work. 

With the book tucked under his arm, Balthier pushes his reading glasses up so they can rest atop his head and out of his eyesight. 

He does listen when Gabranth tells him to look at him, the tone enough to root him as he meets hazel eyes. His own unimpressed and disheartened by their exchange. It was almost as if Gabranth believed everything to be about work. That they couldn't have any other interaction that was separate. 

The lump in his throat seems to grow at Gabranth's words. The man had no idea....

None....

Forget about its existence? This was a huge part of Balthier, of who he is as a person and where he would eventually go. 

And....and, he had shared that with Gabranth, inviting the man to see a side of him that Balthier rarely, if ever, showed anyone. 

Anger flashes first, trying to conceal the enormous hurt that Gabranth's words had evoked in him. It has Balthier drawing in a shaky breath as his lips thin and he slowly starts to shake his head. 

Forget its existence, Balthier's existence. 

He couldn't unhear it. Unhear the implications of those words, even if Gabranth didn't quite understand the gravity of his words. And Balthier should be a little more forgiving but this stung deep. 

Balthier moves the book from under his arm so he's holding it between his hands and staring at it. Staring at how worn and loved it was and is....

He swallows as his grip tightens and brows knit together again. As he starts nodding slowly as he replays everything that has led to this. 

"....I wanted to share it with you but if you'd rather forget its existence...." And now they weren't quite talking about the same thing anymore. "Then I'm just going to retire for the night. Goodnight, Gabranth." It was hard to hide how stilted his voice had become.

With that done, Balthier stands, turns, and without looking back (because he can't bring himself to) he escapes to Gabranth's room. The only sound to break the silence is the click of the door as it closes.

* * *

_...I wanted to share it with you but if you’d rather forget it’s existence…_

The words ring in Noah’s ears, drowning out any other sounds, his eyes fixed unseeing on the door to his bedroom Balthier disappeared behind. What...had just happened? Noah blinks slowly. Once, twice, again. Unsure how to make sense of what just went down.

Because something went down alright. The previously comforting calm in his living room now feels like the deafening silence following an explosion, bearing down on him and kind of stealing the breath from his lungs. Noah’s fingers slowly curl, bunching the fabric of his sleeping pants until they are properly clenched around it. He missed something. There was just something in how Balthier reacted that didn’t quite make sense to Noah, not yet.

Something in what Noah said must have set him off and for the life of him; Noah doesn’t know what it could have been. 

The first tendrils of frustration begin to wind their way through him, aiming for his heart and growing stronger on the way. Things had seemed to go so well between them up until that moment in which Balthier seemingly flipped a switch. They had finally been talking again and, fuck, Noah had felt at ease in Balthier’s company. Enough to let his guard down with him, enough to offer him something he thought might make the man happier, even though Noah was pretty sure it would kill him to let him go.

And how did he thank him for it (not that Noah expected or wanted any thanks, but that was beside the point)? By wrenching all his defenses back into place and shutting Noah out.

What the actual fuck.

Mind going a mile a minute, Noah replays the events of the last half an hour. Balthier’s comforting presence in the face of his own distress. Noah allowing Balthier to take care of him, the first time in more than five years he let anyone close enough to do that. Balthier’s offer of distraction that turned into one of the most beautiful displays of passion and pure, untainted joy Noah has ever seen. 

Noah….putting his foot in his mouth again, prompting Balthier to withdraw immediately. His fumbling attempt at backpaddling to give them both the change to return to the ease from minutes before. The offer to forget about that book that somehow seems to hold so much meaning for Balthier and…

Ah, shit.

Could it be that...was it possible…?

Noah swears, dredging up all the colouful vocabulary he overheard during his inspections of the armed forces under his command. He swears at his own stupidity and seeming inability to read this one man. Swears at Balthier for being so damn complicated and misunderstanding him. Swears at that tiny book that prompted it all and the world for having put them in this situation to begin with.

It helps, just a little. Getting the worst of the now simmering, boiling anger at the entire situation out of his system before he does something stupid again. But it’s not enough.

Eyes narrowed, Noah looks at his unassuming bedroom door again as if he could see his apprentice’s form behind it. Before he knows it, he’s standing right in front of it, his hand on the handle, and how did he even get here when he had been sitting on his couch just a second ago?

No matter. Noah is the first to admit to himself (at least) that there were many things he didn’t know and had no idea how to deal with. But in this instance, he is absolutely dead certain that ignoring this, letting what just happened fester between them - there would be no coming back from it.

No more pleased smiles, sparkling hazel-green eyes looking at him. No more teasing or intelligent discussions, no more warmth pressed against his side. No more Balthier.

No. 

Noah doesn’t stop to get a good look at the room, to observe how he was taught during his own training all those years ago. Eyes zeroing in on Balthier, Noah takes a deep breath to quench the irritation and focus on wording this right (this time) and fails, partly at least.

“Tell me you didn’t think I was talking about forgetting your existence, Balthier. Belias’ flaming fists, tell me you didn’t.” 

It is the only thing Noah's frazzled mind can come up with for what went wrong back there. It could be wrong, gods, he hopes he's wrong, but nothing else makes sense and he needs to know.

Noah may be a lot of things, but he is not ready or willing to let Balthier go. Not without putting up a fight.

* * *

The first thing Balthier does when he gets in the room, besides gently placing his book on the nightstand, is pull off Gabranth's stupid shirt. He flings it across the room, knowing full well that the reaction was far from mature but not caring. The last thing he needed was to smell the dumb man on him, even though his scent was absolutely everywhere. 

Balthier sits himself on the unmade bed and buries his face in his hands as he takes in several deep breaths. 

He doesn't get very much time to let himself feel the upset from what had just happened. The fact that Balthier had fucking opened up to Gabranth. That he had made it about work and that he then promised to forget about an integral part of Balthier. As if what he had presented to him was so trivial. 

He KNOWS....knows that that's not exactly it. But, that's how it felt, that Gabranth just couldn't see the effort Balthier was putting in trying to bridge their two very different worlds. 

It's the sound of the doorknob turning and the door opening that pulls Balthier from his hands. He looks a little startled by the sudden appearance of Gabranth and...and...Balthier feels his mouth go dry as his gaze fixes on the older man. 

He was caught....unprepared and unable to hide the emotions in his eyes. Then again, his eyes always did have the habit of betraying how he felt....even with the well-placed mask he'd gotten used to adorning. 

Balthier slowly stands as he processes Gabranth's words. He was embarrassingly under-clothed for this conversation, but he decides he doesn't care. 

"No. Just an integral part of it." Balthier answers, trying desperately to keep his voice even. "I was sharing something with you that was important to me....that's who I am, Gabranth." 

Balthier pulls his gaze away from the man to stare at the ground, brows furrowed together, just as frustrated. 

"You made it about work....you missed the fact that I'm...." Balthier makes a noise of low frustration. "That I'm trying to open up to you!" 

Hazel-greens do flick up to meet and hold Gabranth's gaze, a deep frown etched on his features. "You....you," the frustration was building up again. "How do you not get it?!" 

Balthier's trying to keep composed but his feelings were choking him, causing him to tremble, lightly, but tremble nonetheless.

* * *

Balthier's words, the raw feelings almost palpable in them, pierce through the frustration clouding Noah's mind and shatter the illusion between them - ironic given the obvious frustration in every line of Balthier's body mirroring his from just moments ago. The fight drains out of his shoulders and suddenly, Noah just feels tired and old. Was this what caring about someone felt like, then? 

This feeling of Belias’ fist reaching straight into his chest to wrap around his heart and squeezing painfully at the realisation that it was his fault, his actions and words that caused the one person he cared about to feel so hurt that fleeing his presence felt like the only option? 

With a startling clarity, Noah suddenly knows that following Balthier had been the right call or else he would have lost him completely already. He also knows that the danger hasn't passed yet, knowledge that sits in his chest like a block of ice, strengthening his determination to try his best to….what? This doesn't feel like a minor spat anymore. This feels like one of those moments that could either make or break someone, and Noah is determined to not let it break them - but it's not just up to him. It depends on Balthier too. 

As much as he wishes it was different, easier somehow, this was not one of the things Noah could solve easily on his own. He might not be able to solve it at all. But he would try. 

Hand slipping from the door handle he had held onto, Noah enters the room fully but comes to a stop with enough distance between them to not make Balthier feel crowded even though reaching out to him is all Noah wants to do. He reigns the urge in, doubting Balthier would allow or stand his touch in this moment. 

_How do you not get it?!_

Balthier's last question echoes in Noah's mind, the desperate urgency behind it not lost on him.

"Because I'm an idiot." Noah feels a peculiar calm settle over himself at the admission, a sort of relief at the utter honesty in it. No pretenses. Not anymore. "

Too stuck in my ways and too blind to see what was right in front of me until it wasn't there anymore." And isn't that right? If Noah thinks about it, the frustration he had felt only minutes ago (and which is still there but resolutely ignored for now) was rooted in how easily Balthier had shut him out. But underlying it was a deep sense of _fear_ . The fear of losing what Noah’s subconsciousness had recognized long ago as the one good thing in his life and worth _everything_ while he had still tried to figure out what Balthier meant to him and how to read him. 

“I know you are - were - trying to open up to me, Balthier. And it makes me ridiculously happy.” This was going to be difficult, but he had already committed, he could do this… “So much so, in fact, that I didn’t stop to think and surged ahead with that offer. I didn’t mean to make it about work. But until you came, my life consisted of only work, so in my mind, it made sense somehow.” 

And wasn’t that the sad truth? Come to think of it, Noah’s life consisted of his work, his _purpose_ in a way that suddenly made him deeply uncomfortable, the past he couldn’t seem to shake off or forget and the hatred he had clung to throughout his days that wasn't strong enough to mask the hurt yet but would grow to be if he continued on this path. Balthier had been a breath of fresh air and a guiding ray of light in the twilight of his life Noah hadn’t known he needed. 

But he was so much more than that. In some ways, Balthier might have actually inadvertently saved him already, but Noah doesn’t want ‘Balthier, the saviour’. 

Noah wants Balthier, the man.

It only took scaring him off to realise. Good job, fon Ronsenburg, good job. Noah jolts in surprise. It’s been years since he last thought of himself as a fon Ronsenburg. Too readily had he embraced the mantle of Gabranth. Seems like as much as it saved him back then, it was his downfall now. 

“All I wanted was...I know that…” Noah stops and takes a deep breath before he tries again. 

“I may be blind and pretty much useless when it comes to emotions, but I do know you are not happy here, Balthier. Not as a Judge, perhaps not even here, in Archades. There is not much I can do about it - except helping you find a job more to your liking, even if it meant letting you go. _That_ was the only reason I brought it up. Not because I thought your genius would be an asset to the Empire. Not because of work. I just...want you to be happy.” 

Noah sighs, unsure if what he’s saying would even make a difference. Right now, except for the light trembling, Balthier is pretty much unreadable to him, the frustration he’s wearing like a shield successfully limiting Noah’s ability to see behind it. 

“You reacted so horrified to the idea of sharing your concepts with anyone else that I thought keeping it purely between us without anyone the wiser would help with setting you at ease again. That’s all I meant, but I worded it incredibly poorly.” 

Noah clears his throat lightly but keeps his eyes on Balthier. He feels raw and naked in a way he hasn’t in a long time, but the honesty is needed here. And the obvious power imbalance between them, made visible by Balthier being only in his boxers while Noah was fully clothed...taking off his own clothes wouldn’t help but maybe taking his metaphorical armour off would. Noah can only hope it would. 

“I would never want to forget about you or any part of you, Balthier. Never. And I’m sorry, for handling this so poorly and hurting you in the process.”

* * *

It was as if Gabranth's answer seemed to pull all of Balthier's frustration right out of his body. 

An idiot....he called himself an idiot.... 

His expression softens, marginally, not completely noticeable, but there was definitely a small breakthrough from that alone. From the exhaustion that Balthier can hear in Gabranth's tone, in his features, in the way he was standing in front of him. 

An idiot....gods....yes....but Gabranth was not alone. 

Balthier's resolve slowly decreases the more Gabranth speaks. The fact that the man admits that he's only had work....which in a way, Balthier knows. He'd seen that in the man's file when he'd gone snooping around. He knew that Gabranth had lost everything and for some reason, held loyalty to Archades. An odd loyalty that Balthier doesn't think he would ever understand, but in the here and now that didn't matter. 

That loyalty is what led to them meeting and he would count his blessings, even if a good portion of their interactions have been frustrating. 

Balthier doesn't say anything, not immediately, not when he didn't want to interrupt Gabranth.

What really catches Balthier off guard is the fact that Gabranth had caught on to his unhappiness. Although, he supposes, it wasn't that difficult to catch onto but Balthier had been enjoying his time under Gabranth's tutelage, as odd as it is. Balthier feels whatever else of his anger, frustration and upset shatter. That wall of emotions was no longer there and Balthier is left feeling vulnerable, not because he's barely dressed but because Gabranth had picked up on things that he had tried to hide. 

....happy.... 

It's technically a concept that Balthier is familiar with, but he hasn't experienced it completely in a long while. There had been moments....mostly with Gabranth, but few and far between. It has that lump in his throat returning and his hands unclenching as he inhales deeply. 

This was a lot to take in..... 

Gabranth had managed to diffuse a situation that he was certain wasn't going to end well given their track record but, finally getting an opportunity to glimpse into Gabranth's mind made a world of difference. At least, to Balthier it did, and it has his heart hammering in his chest. 

"You are an idiot." Balthier finally manages to get out. Voice heavy with a mix of emotions. He brings a hand up and drags his index finger and thumb respectively across his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. Balthier swallows around that lump, his shoulders sagging, and then without looking up, he closes the gap between them.

He only stops when his forehead makes contact with Gabranth's shoulder. Balthier doesn't care about his state of undress, he presses his face against the man's shoulder and slides his arms around his middle, hugging him tight, pressing himself flush against Gabranth. 

"How do I connect with you?" Balthier's words come out muffled thanks to Gabranth's shirt. 

He stands there and breathes the other man in, memorizes the way he feels against him, and enjoys how warm he feels inside from being this close. 

Balthier knows that he may be overstepping but right now he doesn't care and he wants this, desperately. He's been dreaming about it for a week now, ever since Gabranth had held him that entire night.

* * *

It probably shouldn’t but Balthier confirming that he’s an idiot has Noah’s lips curling up into a tiny, hesitant and self-deprecating smirk. Of course he had known that it’s true, but hearing it from someone else is something else entirely and perhaps he should feel indignation instead of amusement. But Balthier’s tone doesn’t seem to herald another explosion or a sharp cut between them, and it’s giving Noah a little hope.

Watching Balthier working through his emotions is as difficult as it is rewarding. Noah isn’t sure whether Balthier is letting him see his visceral reaction to Noah’s bumbling attempt at damage control despite their differences or because he simply cannot hide it anymore, but whatever the cause, Noah will take it. The tiny flicker of hope in his chest grows.

And then….and then Balthier was there, in his space, hugging him and Noah’s world screeches to a halt. This, this was entirely unexpected but more than welcome. Balthier’s warmth seeps into Noah’s thin shirt, thawing the ice block in his chest. His skin feels smooth if a little cool under Noah’s hands when his arms lift instinctively to envelop the younger man in a tight hug even before his brain has caught on. 

For a long moment, all Noah feels capable of facing with this unexpected development is holding Balthier while his mind scrambles to make sense of the events - and then Balthier speaks again, his breath tickling on Noah’s little exposed skin, and suddenly, the words come easily.

_'How do I connect with you?'_

“Call me Noah.” His voice sounds a little rough and thick with emotions Noah doesn’t care to identify yet, but he ignores the feeling of being in free fall. He hasn’t laid claim to this name in five years and it’s frightening in its magnitude, but offering it to Balthier feels right. “At least when it’s just the two of us.”

Yes...yes, this seemed like a good beginning.

“We may have to keep up pretenses while we’re on duty, but I’d like it if we didn’t let work come between us again, in any capacity.” Noah swallows and tightens his embrace a little. “I cannot promise that I’ll never be an idiot again, but I'm learning and I promise I will do my best to not be one.”

In fact, Noah would rather resign from office than hurt Balthier like this again. It took an embarrassingly long time for him to finally catch on but now that he’s realised how important Balthier was to him? He wouldn’t let go again if he could help it even though this thing between them was still just an idea, a mere possibility and circumstances seemingly against them.

“But if I am without realising it, please tell me. Be patient with me if you can. Talk to me. I will do the same for you."

Noah swallows, heart in his throat as he realises that perhaps they could make this work. That Balthier seemed to be as unable to give this up as he was, that they might have a chance.

"Connecting…" Noah thinks carefully for a moment, contemplating his answer. "Connecting can be difficult, sometimes. But you're welcome to ask me whatever you want to know. And...what do you need from me?"

The question sounds a little sheepish but earnest, and Noah chooses not to feel embarrassed for it. He may not be as utterly hopeless as he thought he was at this whole emotions thing. But he'd need a little help, at least in the beginning, and perhaps the best first step was to be honest with it and admit as much to Balthier.

* * *

Noah. 

Balthier has known Gabranth....no, Noah's name for a while. Once again the information in that file he shouldn't have been able to get his hands on comes to memory. However, he had always refrained from using it. There was something about it that even Balthier could respect. However, being given the privilege of using it sends another swell of warmth through Balthier. 

He turns his face so his cheek is resting against Noah's shoulder and he milks the contact, not wanting to pull away. This felt right....it felt good and Balthier really wanted to enjoy this for however long he was allowed.

"Noah suits you better." Balthier murmurs sounding quite tired from the emotional charge of the past....what? 30 minutes. It couldn't have been more than that. 

The name alone was bridging as it was healing to the upset that previously surrounded the room. 

Noah continues and Balthier is starting to realise even more that the man really did have a hard time with all of this emotional stuff. He's the one that pulls his head away even though he remains in Noah's arms. His gaze meets Noah's as he contemplates the man's words. Balthier nods slowly and thoughtfully as he thinks about what he needs. 

He knows. Balthier has always known what he needs. That was what had set him apart from the other children in school and what had probably pushed his father in enrolling him into the Judge Academy. 

"Support." Balthier answers. "Patience and understanding." 

He unwinds his arms so he can gently cup Noah's face between both his hands. "I need someone to ground me when my head is in the clouds." 

Balthier's cheeks flush, but he pushes on. "I want you to be my home." He didn't care where they were as long as they made an effort to understand each other and stick together. 

Balthier is assuming that right now they're agreeing to a deeper and more meaningful relationship. That Noah wanted to be with Balthier as much as Balthier wanted to be with him. The comfort and ease that Balthier did find in Noah when things weren't being misconstrued or misunderstood. 

"That's what I need." 

Balthier can't help but slowly trace the line of Noah's cheekbone with his thumb. It was terrible how attractive Balthier was to this man....

* * *

_‘I want you to be my home.’_

Balthier's home.

Balthier wants him to be his home.

Noah sucks in a sharp breath as he feels as if the ground falls out from underneath his feet for the umpteenth time in the last hour or so. This...this was entirely unexpected. Something Noah hadn't even dared to think yet. Huge in its magnitude.

Utterly heartwarming and heart-wrenching in one.

Unable to tear his eyes away from Balthier's hazel greens so full of hope and fear, Noah knows that this is it. There is only one right answer to Balthier opening up to him like this, of baring his soul for Noah's eyes only. And Noah wants.

He wants all of it. He wants Balthier and if that means…

"I haven't had a home in a very long time. And I have no roots keeping me here to speak of - except for you." Noah swallows but doesn't look away from Balthier's face, the red tint on his cheeks entirely too charming. "I may not always be easy to be around, there's a lot of things I need to work through but...if you'll have me, I'm yours."

There's a rush of panic at the commitment (because there's no doubt in Noah's mind that it is one), the enormity of what's happening and what it means for Noah's safe but restrictive life but it is drowned out immediately by the potent mix of hope, joy (it takes him a moment to identify it as he hasn't felt it this pure in far too long) and affection.

Noah gives in to his emotions, embraces the moment and leans into Balthier's hands framing his face. It is as heady a feeling as it is making him feel inexperienced and young (well, younger) again because in this, Balthier was the more mature one between them, but perhaps that is a good thing. Noah does indeed have a lot to work through.

The realisation comes far too late - five years too late - but what he's been building here in Archades since his arrival? Wasn't a life. It was a purpose, designed to keep him going, but nothing more than that. He has spent so long perfecting the metaphorical armour of Judge Magister Gabranth that it has become a second skin he hadn't quite realised was stifling until Balthier had accidentally cracked it, allowing him to breathe clean air for the first time in so long.

It wouldn't be easy to dismantle it entirely and find himself again in the shards of his old life he had never cleared away or put together again as best as he could. Instead he had chosen to scoop it all up in a tiny box inside his mind and walked around with it slowly corroding overtime almost unnoticeably feeding the lingering, choking dark feelings in his heart.

This was going to be an uphill battle, perhaps the hardest one yet in his life, but - Noah lets one of his arms drop from Balthier's shoulders to his waist to pull him closer, the other covers one of Balthier's - it would be worth it. Balthier and the life he's offering him would be worth it.

It takes Noah a few tries to make his voice work, thick with more emotions than he cares to untangle right now. "I'll give you everything you want and need. Show me the sky, Balthier."

Noah would fight for this, for them and for Balthier.

* * *

Balthier never thought that he would ever feel like he was flying when both of his feet are so firmly planted on the ground. 

The feelings that he is experiencing were overwhelming and a little frightening. But the type of frightening that had Balthier looking forward to what was to come....to some good changes for both his and Noah's life. Balthier is acutely aware of Noah's arm around his waist, the fact that the man pulls him closer, the way he feels pressed together. This feels better than that night he'd been held mostly because this was tangible. There was something here that they were both willing to acknowledge and move forward with together. 

Honestly, as prone to responses as Balthier typically is....he can't think of anything to say that would convey exactly what he wants to convey. 

The fact that all of that hurt....and upset seemed to slide right off of him as if he'd been wearing armour all along. The pain from the things that had been and are going on at the Bunansa Estate....right now, it didn't matter. And, wasn't that the strangest thing?! His father's behaviour had bothered him so much it had him acting out in all aspects of his life....of plotting his permanent escape from Archades and it's suffocating societal expectations. 

His chains....have clicked open and fallen off of him. 

And due to such a simple admittance. 

The hand over his own felt warm....felt foreign but familiar at the same time. It was rough, but gods...it felt as if it were made to envelop his own....to touch him and hold him. 

Balthier doesn't have to think. His body already knows what it needs to do, and as his free hand slips to rest against Noah's neck, Balthier closes the distance. 

He kisses Noah in a way Balthier wasn't even aware he could. He tries to memorize those lips while conveying the array of emotions that really couldn't be put into words. The kiss is firm and almost desperate, but this time there's no fear of being pushed away. 

Balthier is the one to break the kiss, panting lightly, as he rests his forehead against Noah's smiling from ear to ear. 

"You do realise I'm going to be even more insufferable now." 

The sheer warmth in his response, a clear indication that Balthier would do everything in his power to make this work. That his future plans weren't going to quite be as he imagined it....and although that thought does scare him, the warmth of the body and presences against him....anchors him, reminds him that futures were ever changing. That shifting thoughts and goals didn't mean he couldn't flourish in the way he wanted....he'd just be doing it with someone at his side.

And that....was one of the best feelings.

* * *

Considering the nature of their - well, ‘discussion’ isn’t quite right, but neither is ‘conversation’ - _situation_ and the events leading up to it, Noah kind of expects the kiss (Balthier had never tried to hide his attraction to him after all) but it still takes him a little off-guard. Still, Noah melts into it and answers it with as much enthusiasm as Balthier is very noticeably putting into it. And if there was a bit too much desperation laced into the complicated but positive mix of emotions Noah tries to convey with his kiss or how he clings a little too reminiscent of a drowning man to Balthier, his anchor in all of this, well. 

No one except for the man in his arms had to know. 

Had their first kiss felt like this? Catching his breath as he’s resting his forehead against Balthier’s, Noah can’t remember, but it doesn’t bother him overly much. If this moment was any indication, there would be many more kisses in his future now. He can’t help but return Balthier’s blinding smile, although his is not as wide despite carrying the same...happiness. What an unfamiliar - or rather long-forgotten - concept… 

“Of that I have no doubt.” Noah’s eyes crease in the corners with a more muted but equally pleased smile. “But I’ll suffer you gladly.”

And Noah means it. It wouldn’t be much suffering, despite the handful he knew Balthier could be. No, in fact, it wouldn’t be much suffering at all considering he wanted to keep the young man around as much as possible. 

Balthier’s presence...it felt like a balm to his soul healing those cracks and drawing the infection of the festering wounds in his soul, but more than that, Noah craved his company. Balthier himself might not be aware of it and true, there was a shadow hanging over his head lately weighing him down, but it didn’t diminish his enchantingly positive personality. 

He may be unaware (or maybe not) but Balthier was radiant, at least in Noah’s eyes, although he doubts he’s the only one who sees it. Maybe the only sod completely smitten with the young man. Who knows? 

“Not that I don’t enjoy standing here with you, but want to lie down and get more comfortable?” Noah finally asks even while he brings the arm previously still holding onto Balthier’s hand down to wrap around Balthier’s back. 

As nice as having Balthier this close was - and Noah is absolutely soaking his closeness and warmth in - with the feeling of settling into this new development comes the bone deep emotional exhaustion hitting him with all the might of an exuberant Chocobo. So getting more comfortable (and Balthier into a shirt or under a blanket because in the cool air of his bedroom his skin really felt a little too chilled) would really be quite a good idea. 

“I could at least do with ‘not standing’. The last hour was kind of earth-shattering.” _And I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed_ is what Noah doesn’t say but also doesn’t try to hide from his face, eyes tired but unguarded.

* * *

It's terrible, but Balthier could probably stand all night if Noah promised to hold him. The good thing is he's aware that's not a very practical use of their time, especially when they could get more comfortable in bed. 

The bed was certainly the better alternative in this situation, so Balthier pulls back enough to look over his shoulder at the bed. The thought that he wouldn't be sleeping on his own was....nice, very very nice. 

His hands drop from Noah's cheek and neck, one in particular sliding down Noah's arm. Balthier didn't want to lose the physical connection between them. When his hand reaches Noah's hand he slips it in and tugs the man forward as he walks backwards. He only releases Noah's hand when he has one knee on the bed and he's bringing the second one up. The shirt he'd been wearing completely out of his mind now that it was out of sight.

Balthier moves far enough that Noah has room to join him, but still close so that he can tuck himself against the man the moment he lays down. He is, however, slipping under the covers. Now that he wasn't wrapped up in his mentor's arms and feeling warm from the inside out, he felt a little chilled. It made sense why Noah wore clothes to bed....it got cool at night and in the morning. 

Although, with no obligations while he was sick, the cool air was pleasant when he could just wrap himself deeper into the blankets. 

"It was definitely something." Balthier hums in affirmation. 

Now that he was sitting and waiting for Noah. He can't help but smile at the other man. 

It was odd feeling so at ease after a while of upset. He wasn't even bothered about his relationship with his father right now, everything felt fine. He knows when he wakes and routine sets in, he'd become upset again....but this was a very good reprieve. Something that Balthier honestly needed....to ground him.

* * *

Noah feels fondly amused at Balthier refusing to let his hand go for just the few steps to the bed, but he doesn't resist and lets Balthier lead him to it. There is an odd feeling of content and something else spreading in his chest at the inviting picture the younger man makes like this, but it's not something Noah wants to pick apart tonight.

He's happy and tired and exhausted and all he wants is to slide under the covers, pull Balthier close and forget the world for a while.

So that's what he does. 

His bed sheets feel whisper soft against his skin, not too silky with just the right amount of grip but pleasant to the touch, and Noah exhales a pleased sigh. There's a trace of Balthier's body warmth lingering under the covers from before he left his nest for whatever reason a while ago, only to find Noah in the throes of his nightmare and it's helping them warm up just a bit faster. It's nice - although Noah, clad in his comfortable sleepwear himself, appreciates it more for Balthier's sake than his.

Balthier's warm eyes on him and the invitation obvious on his face beckon him closer, so Noah reaches out to pull him into his arms and gets comfortable, relieved to be off his feet. And in his actual bed, not the kind-of-but-not-really comfortable couch. But as much as his mind is tired from the developments and emotionally exhausted, Noah doesn't think he can sleep just yet.

"What's your favourite colour?" Noah mumbles, a tiny smile on his face. This was nice. Feels like their own little bubble, far removed from Ivalice, just the two of them in it. "I told you mine…"

Perhaps it's a silly question, it's nothing really important after all but...Noah wants to know.

* * *

Balthier does not protest when he's being pulled closer. In fact, he makes sure to fling the blankets over Noah as he settles close. It's not as close as he would like it, but he's getting the feeling that Noah wasn't at the point of falling asleep just yet. That was more than fine for Balthier, it meant he had more time with him before he would have to inevitably get up to go to work. 

Balthier had been excused for one more day, and then he'd be back on duty. 

That meant he could potentially laze around Noah's residence until he came back from work. Or, he could go make use of his time and move on out so Noah had his space again. The blonde didn't seem to mind....but then again, this was all new and perhaps Noah wanted a bit more time before things potentially became serious. 

Balthier tucks his arm under his pillow and head as he smiles back at Noah. There is a pause at the question, Balthier blinks, and then his brows knit together deep in thought. 

"I asked you about your favouite colour?" Balthier sounds surprised, and then his mouth snaps shut. 

"Shit! I did too...." In his feverish haze and mostly because he had wanted to wear something of Noah's that was in his favourite colour. That choice had been taken out of his hands when he'd been changed. 

The tips of his ears tint, and he's glad that they're in the dark. "I don't really have one favourite colour..." Balthier admits as he shifts closer so he can tangle their legs and so he can slip his one hand under Noah's shirt. 

Balthier can't help but absentmindedly draw patterns against Noah's skin. 

"I like blue." Balthier begins. "It reminds me of the skies." 

He shifts a little closer so he can tuck himself against Noah's shoulder and chest. "I've been really liking the colour hazel as of late." Balthier murmurs. "It comforts me...a lot."

* * *

Noah smirks at Balthier's brief confusion, followed by a dawning realisation that paints his ears a charming red. Cute. The smirk morphs into an amused smile and Noah dares to reach out to tuck a few errant strands of hair behind Balthier's ear before he lets his hand trail down his neck lightly to come and rest on Balthier's side again.

"Hmm, you did…" Noah confirms, lazy mirth colouring his tone.

It would be easier to pull him a little closer like this….

But either Balthier catches on immediately, or he's just as eager for more contact as he is. Noah enjoys the way their legs tangle together, even though they both have cold feet from standing barefoot for so long. He jumps a little on contact, but then decides to shift a little closer until he can tug his feet against Balthier's legs a little better, for faster warming up.

Noah jumps at Balthier slipping his hand under his shirt, too, but settles into the touch right away. Pleased and bemused that Balthier seems to be so tactile with him - although that isn't technically a new realisation. With them much closer again, it is so easy it's a subconscious action to adjust his hold on Balthier so that he's properly in his arm, although they aren't as flush pressed together as they were while standing.

Not yet, anyway.

Adjusting their position a little so Noah has a better reach, he begins absentmindedly playing with Balthier's hair a bit. As absentmindedly as the patterns Balthier is drawing on his skin, it seems. Noah shivers, hyperaware of the goosebumps Balthier's nimble fingers are leaving in their wake.

Gods, but this felt so good.

“It is a good colour, it suits you.” Noah hums, an amused tilt to his lips at Balthier’s murmured confession. And it is one - Noah may be a little thick sometimes, but he knows exactly what Balthier is referring too and it warms his heart. “Hmm, it is. I like a bit of green in it as well.”

The wink is clearly audible in his voice if not visible on his face.

“What about…” Noah pauses to decide which question of the many floating around in his head he wants to ask first. There are the obvious choices - music, food, animals...but there’s one that seems to fit Balthier much better and Noah is curious. “You obviously like airships. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?”

Balthier's hair feels soft and tickles a little under his fingers.

* * *

Balthier smiles against Noah's shoulder. "Green in hazel's not so bad." He agrees, voice sounding a bit tired. 

The movement of his hand slows down, an obvious signal that Balthier was getting both comfortable and sleepy. His eyes slip closed, and especially so at how nice it felt to have fingers in his hair. He does shift his head every now and then to get Noah to card through the hair of a certain part of his head, much in the same way a cat would behave. 

Balthier liked this side of Noah a lot, and he's glad he's getting to witness it. He knows that there will be a lot of adjusting, but if most nights could be this, Balthier swears that they can overcome everything. 

There's a second where Balthier feels as if he's drifted, the hand that had been tracing patterns still, laid flat against Noah's skin as he wiggles closer so he can press his face into Noah's shirt and take him in. It's the question that pulls him from his half slumber and he lets out an aspirated hum so Noah's aware that he's still awake and he's considering what's been asked. 

"If I had an airship....I would visit every corner of Ivalice starting with Balfonheim Port." Balthier begins. "I've always thought the ocean to be beautiful and after airships....I quite like the idea of being able to experience travel on sea." 

Balthier huffs. "There's so much I want to see that I haven't gotten the opportunity to." 

He wanted to leave Archades but his father had always been busy with his work. It was very rare that they got to venture too far. Balthier had been to surrounding areas but only for short periods of time and with his schooling taking a priority and then being thrown into Judge Academy at the tender age of 14 to then become a Judge at 16.....it didn't leave much room for exploring, for learning who he wants to be or who he is. 

"The smell of the ocean....gives me the impression that it's the scent of freedom and strength. The ocean is such an unyielding force....but spans across Ivalice....she's impressive." 

Balthier blinks slowly in the dark. "Have you ever been to Balfonheim, Noah?"

* * *

Noah can feel Balthier slowly giving into the soft call of sleep, although he hasn’t quite dozed off yet. He seems to enjoy Noah carding his fingers through his hair, and Noah is almost expecting him to start purring at some point. He does look as comfortable as a cat getting attention like this.

The comparison is not a bad one, Noah thinks, mildly amused. Balthier was certainly as sleek and graceful, even poised as any cat, and although Noah hasn’t seen anything like it from him yet, he has no doubt Balthier could show his metaphorical razor-sharp claws if it suited him as well. There was the being entirely independent part, too.

Yes, Balthier does seem to share quite a few similarities with these deceptively beautiful and harmless creatures.

And Noah...Noah is completely content to just lie here, enjoying the soothing rhythm of Balthier's quiet breathing that is slowly lulling him to sleep, too. Still aware enough to observe Balthier, to drink the sight he makes like this in but Noah can feel sleep tugging on him in the back of his mind. Surprisingly, the thought doesn't result in a muted terror or a suddenly racing heart again, as it usually does after a nightmare such as the one Balthier woke him up from earlier.

It's a more than welcome change and Noah counts his blessings, eyes still on Balthier's face pressed against his shoulder.

Curious how this one man continuously managed to draw his softer but almost forgotten and dangerously neglected side out of him...Even with the young Lord Larsa, the most cherubic toddler Noah has ever seen, this level of...gentleness doesn't come as easily as it does with Balthier. A grown man entirely able to take care of himself. And yet, Noah felt a strange tenderness looking at Balthier's unguarded face.

It almost succeeds in making Noah want to pull back from this situation, slightly uncomfortable in its newness, he is no tender man but...only almost. Actually, Noah doesn't want to withdraw from this at all. Yes, the unfamiliarity with this situation and his own reactions and emotions he hadn't known he was capable of are as disconcerting as they are new to him, but he will learn. They will become familiar soon, of that Noah has no doubt.

And there is still the fact that showing any affection towards Balthier comes way too easily to Noah, even if he's not always very graceful about it.

"Balfonheim…it is a good place to start." Noah agrees quietly, not surprised with Balthier's choice. "I have been to Balfonheim a few times in the past. It is...an unusual place. Quite lawless. Very much free." 

Noah's lips curve up in a smile, hidden in the forgiving dark.. "The ocean is indeed beautiful but slow down a bit. First airship, then normal ships, okay? There's no rush."

Not that he doesn't understand Balthier, quite the contrary. But there is time, Balthier is still so young - he has so much time to explore the world on his hands that he really doesn't need to rush. And besides...airships weren't the safest travel options in Jagd, even with skystones to keep them safe and afloat. But sea-faring vessels? Noah has read the reports.

More ships left their safe harbour during calm seas, sailed into Jagd for whichever reason - and were never to be seen again. Jagd was dangerous, but so was the ocean on it's own. Beautiful, yes, but a destructive force of nature, nonetheless.

Not that he holds any illusions that he'd be able to stop Balthier if he got it in his head to sail the seas.

"I heard that the Phon Coast is a phenomenal vacation spot despite being Hunter territory." Noah murmurs, voice holding traces of sleep. "Lots of palms and beaches...secluded spots to relax..."

A vacation sounded nice, actually. There’s a bone-deep weariness in Noah he has ignored for far too long in favour of carrying on, growing stronger, increasing the Empire’s reach...keeping tabs on his wayward brother.

Maybe once this business with Famfrit’s Kiss was resolved, he could take some time off and spirit Balthier away for a short break from their responsibilities…? In the morning. He could continue on that train of thought in the morning.

“What’s your favourite breakfast food, Balthier?” 

Noah can feel his body growing heavy with the promise of sleep, his eyes slowly sliding shut in exhaustion and contentment. It’s been an eventful day; perhaps they should give in and get some sleep. But this, he still wants to hear. If it wasn’t too out there...maybe he could manage and try his luck with preparing an actual breakfast for once. He’s grown rusty, but this seemed like a good opportunity to maybe do something against it.

* * *

It was warm. It was nice. It was comfortable, and Balthier was finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. 

In fact, he's pretty sure he'd fallen asleep when his brain reminds him that Noah had asked him another question. Balthier exhales as he curls closer into the man. 

"Breakfast spread..." Balthier murmurs sounding quite far away now. "Eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers, hummus, variety of cheeses, bread...." 

He doesn't get through the answer before he falls quiet, and he's relaxing even further against Noah. It was clear Balthier had become just as tired as his mentor.


	8. Hydraulics and Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, MeinNameIstJette writes Balthier, Caillieach writes Noah/Gabranth.

Things settle. 

It's odd how easy it is to fall into a routine with Noah that seems to work. Balthier hadn't bothered asking for a key to his residence. He wasn't sure if that was crossing a line or if it would even be wise to move in together. Their relationship had already moved far too quickly for what would constitute normal. Then again, Balthier doesn't think that he or Noah qualify as normal anyway. 

Despite not having a key, Balthier does find that throughout the week, he'd slept in the other man's bed at least a handful of times. 

And yet....Balthier was still adverse to asking whether having his own key would be beneficial. It was safe to say that Balthier enjoyed the challenge of breaking in and Noah, although exasperated, never turned him away. 

Then there was public behaviour. 

Balthier did pride himself in his acting skills and he thinks that he'd managed to fool most people. Well, most people except for Monica who didn't say anything outwardly but who was certainly observing. It made the day a little more amusing especially since he was able to divide his attention to his boring work but also a bit of a mind game. 

Planting false leads so that it's impossible to get a proper story. 

Another habit that Balthier had easily fallen into was checking on Noah after he had done his own work to see if the man was even remotely free. 

The days that he was far too busy, Balthier made his way down to the hangar housing his Strahl, and calmly working away at his project. There were days where he would become so enthralled in his work that he'd forget the time and only check when it was late into the night. 

Certain nights Balthier slept in the Strahl and other nights he did try his hand at breaking into Noah's residence. 

Either way, Balthier typically spent the night decently even with the cold of the winter slowly seeping in around them. 

\---

Tonight was another one of those nights where Balthier had forgotten time or that other people even existed. He'd slipped into what he typically wore to work on projects like airship mechanics and then away he went - repairing, adjusting, altering and re-designing. 

Currently, Balthier was deep in one of the Strahl's 5 engines, trying to replace some of the hydraulics with a better material and a more effective build. 

As any good mechanic, he was getting dirty in the process but, for once, without a care in the world. This was also the only time that Balthier didn't mind that the weather was fairly cool around him. It helped keep him cool when he's hauling, pulling, and carrying things out. 

She was getting close....and Balthier was excited to see how she would fly.

* * *

Things settle.

On some days, Noah felt as if he had somehow woken up in a parallel world in which nothing and yet everything seemed to be different at once. The days themselves were fine, work was work - it was the mornings and evenings that were so daringly, wonderfully different that Noah often had quiet moments in which he had to forcefully remind himself that no, really, this was real and not a wishful dream.

It seemed incomprehensible, too good to be true.

And yet it was.

Noah never thought that he would find himself in one of the infamous whirlwind romances half the city was so fond of gossiping about but he's too smart to not recognise his and Balthiers relationship for what it was. A whirlwind romance. The thought makes him feel a little unsure, unbalanced and amuses him at the same time. Who would have thought?

Noah certainly didn't.

But for all that it was unusual and probably progressing way too fast it feels right. 

It was far too easy to get used to falling asleep with Balthier curled against his side and waking up to his disheveled face in the morning on those days Balthier decided to stay over. Far too easy to look forward to Balthier coming to check up on him at the end of the day hoping he’d be done for the day as well so they could spend some time together. Far too easy to turn a blind eye to how Balthier seems to enjoy messing with his agents' heads a bit to put them off their scent.

It's amusing although it also reveals to Noah that his generally highly trained agents are far too easy to fool when dealing with someone of Balthier's level. Sneaky, smart and with a mischievous streak a mile wide.

Perhaps he should put an end to it, they both know that at least Monica is on to them (and her gaze following them does begin to irritate Noah) but it makes for entertaining conversations before bed and it sustains Noah on the nights Balthier does not break into his apartment with a bright smile on his face and the promise of a few restful hours in his eyes.

Because the nights without Balthier to keep Noah's demons at bay with his mere presence are far from restful. He deals with them, sort of (if trying to work through the traps in his mind and growing weary soon and consequently getting little sleep counts as dealing with it) but it's difficult and quite exhausting.

The question how he dealt with the barrage of emotions before Balthier strolled into his life is one Noah asks himself frequently.

Noah’s gaze falls to the yellow plastic in his hand, thankfully not covered in toddler drool anymore as it had been when tiny Lord Larsa had excitedly pushed it on him earlier that day. It is the perfect size to worry between his fingers without anyone noticing. Balthier didn’t come by at the end of his shift as he usually did. It’s silly, they aren’t attached at the hip nor are they an old married couple but it’s still out of the norm and Noah...Noah feels oddly dejected. This day’s work has left him slightly off-kilter - dealing with Ghis and Bergan’s antagonism usually does - and Noah can admit to himself that yes, Balthier’s presence would help soothe his dark mind.

It takes less than fifteen minutes before Noah caves in. Shoving Larsa’s ring into the small pocket hidden under the edge of his armour Noah if out of the office before any of his subordinates can get a question in about where he’s going. Good. It’s not their business...and essentially ending his work day because he misses his - affair? boyfriend? partner? - Balthier is not exactly professional.

Noah doesn’t care.

Balthier isn’t in his quarters when Noah comes home. He does not show up while Noah prepares a light dinner nor while he tries to concentrate on one of the few non-military books he owns for a while either.

It is dark and Noah more than just a little sleepy when he decides that it's time to change something about their current dynamic of Balthier seeking him out. It's Noah's turn.

The Bunansa Estate yields no results (and thank the gods no one questions him as Balthier's de-facto boss) and neither do Archades' highest vantage point (closest to the sky) and the barracks designated for minor judges Balthier would be entitled to.

It's the dim shimmer of light behind dusty windows and slight metallic clanking that direct Noah's attention to the old airship hangar bordering on the barrack's westside. He stops and blinks. This...made sense.

The doors are unlocked when Noah goes to investigate. Instinctively, he knows he's going to find Balthier inside but he's still not entirely prepared for what he finds.

The airship lit up from inside, one of many old, neglected models, looks a lot like the one from Balthier's book. The Strahl. Noah marvels for a moment, taking in the sleek lines of the airship as he rounds it slowly before noises coming from within remind him why he came.

"Balthier? Is that you?" Noah calls out and knocks lightly on the hull next to the door, sure that he's found his wayward - affair? boyfriend? partner? - Balthier but wanting to make sure and announce himself.

* * *

It takes Balthier a second or two to register that he's not alone. He knows he hears the voice and he knows that he recognizes it, but he never expected to hear it here of all places. In fact, Balthier had never had to worry about being caught because of how discreet he'd mostly been. 

So.... 

How? 

Not that Balthier was upset but for all the months he'd stowed away in this hangar to fix up this once beat up airship.....it was now that he was discovered. Balthier has to peel himself from his work as he steps from out of one of the engine rooms. There's oil smeared over his face and arms. His shirt sleeves rolled up past his elbows and quite a few buttons undone showcasing the sweat diluted smears near his collarbone and neck. The pants that Balthier had chosen to wear were form fitting but clearly loose enough so that he's able to move around without any issues. 

"Noah?" Balthier blinks as he spots the older man standing at the doors leading into the Strahl. 

Two things occur in this moment, a swell of warmth that seems to push any panic from Balthier's mind and slight worry that he wouldn't be able to work on the Strahl anymore. 

He pulls one of the gloves he'd been wearing so he could run an almost awkward hand through his hair. "Uh....this is not what it looks like?" 

Honestly, he's not sure what to say considering.....he really shouldn't be in here and Noah was the only other person besides his father who knew about his airship improvement notebook.

* * *

Noah stares, he can’t help himself.

He was right, he did find Balthier...but oh, what a sight he was! Not even in his wildest dreams did Noah ever imagine Balthier in his current getup and the sight of him like this, undone, disheveled and a far cry from his usual proper self but glowing from within with obvious content...it feels a bit like a punch to the solar plexus. Noah swallows but can’t look away, Balthier too captivating in this moment.

Until he opens his (beautiful, so damn kissable) mouth and blurts out the most ineffective excuse known to humekind which startles a laugh out of Noah. It was good to know that Balthier could be awkward too, that Noah didn’t have the monopoly on being awkward between the two. He feels his lips curl up in an amused but mostly just fond smirk accompanied by a rush of affection for the younger man.

“Oh?” His amusement is almost palpable in Noah’s voice but he doesn’t care. There’s no one here but the two of them - and he does enjoy Balthier’s banter even if he doesn’t usually show it so openly. “And what does this look like, hm?”

An unnecessary question perhaps considering that it’s very much obvious to Noah what exactly is going on. But even with Balthier up on the Strahl leaning on her door frame and him at the foot of the stairs with quite a bit of distance between them Noah can feel the darkness in his mind receding and the tension in his shoulders lessening just the tiniest bit.

This was good. Comfortable. Reassuring and most of all, grounding. 

“Is this where you’ve been spending the night when you didn’t break into my quarters?”

Noah arches an eyebrow, keeping his voice light to let Balthier know he isn’t upset about it...or this, really. Because the nervous apprehension in Balthier’s body language is hard to miss even though his eyes say he’s happy to see him. 

And isn’t that another thing Noah hasn’t entirely wrapped his head around yet? What did he ever do to deserve this incredible young man in his life?

* * *

Balthier's lip curls up when he hears the amusement in Noah's tone. When this man smirked, it did things to Balthier that he didn't think anyone could do with a mere expression. He's pulling off his second glove and draping both of them over his left shoulder. They were long enough that they weren't slipping off. 

"A wrong turn." Balthier answers. "I knew I'd gotten lost on the way to your place." 

The bantering stops and Balthier takes a few steps down so he can sit on one of the stairs. He's still high enough where he can look down at Noah but he's close enough that Noah could easily step into his space if he so desired. A part of Balthier wanted to pull the man close and another part of him would rather not get Noah's clothes dirty with the oil and sweat smeared over his skin and clothes. 

He tilts his head to the side at Noah's question. "Hmmm, it might be. But I can't confirm or deny that. You might have to do a bit of investigating and questioning." Balthier winks. 

He's quiet for a few seconds before he's letting out a low hum. "Want to see what I've been doing?" Balthier asks because as much as he doesn't want anyone to know, he also wants to show Noah. He also wants to pull him into a hug and bury his face against his shoulder. As much as he wants to resist, Balthier's ability of self-restraint goes right out of the window in the face of Noah. 

He finds himself spreading his arms and motioning with his fingers to come closer. It was getting to be physically close to this man that seemed to ground Balthier when he felt as if he were floating away, getting too high. 

The swell in his chest was hard to ignore but Balthier was realising that he might be in love with this man. So soon but he couldn't refute it anymore...with how happy Noah made him feel. That too was a bit frightening but a fear that Balthier was very willing to embrace for Noah.

* * *

“Oh? I didn’t take you for someone who gets lost easily.” Noah allows himself to chuckle a bit - it still feels awfully rusty but it’s coming easier these days -, eyes on Balthier the whole time. “Perhaps I should make it a point to walk you home from work then?”

Home. Oh.

Without thinking about it, the image of his own quarters were on his mind just then which made sense for him but he had meant Balthier’s home…! A tiny frown appears on Noah’s face for a moment as the implications sink in before his expression returns to quietly amused again. This and what it means...is something he’ll have to contemplate in a quiet minute when he gets the chance. Just one more thing to be stored away in his mind, a small but important positive counterweight to all the bad stuff in there already, waiting to be dealt with.

Well, it can wait a little longer.

Noah snorts at Balthier’s obvious and adorable hedging in response to his question but he humours him anyway. “Well, how fortunate that I happen to be rather good at both, hm? I wonder if the carrot-and-stick approach would work with you…”

He does not wink but his usually guarded hazel eyes sparkle with amusement. And indeed, would Balthier be easy to bribe or rather not, Noah wonders? Seems like he’ll have to find out another day because - and how adorable is this?! - Balthier is unable to hide his excitement and pride in his project. Does Noah want to see what he’s working on?

“Of course I want to see.” Noah takes two steps up, not close enough to step into the V of Balthier’s thighs but still, just a little closer. Unbothered by the signs of a hard day’s work all over Balthier Noah reaches out to smooth a few errant strands of hair down and out of Balthier’s face only to cup the man’s jaw lightly. “Show me?”

It would be impossible to hide the smile in his voice or the open affection for the man in front of him but here, in Balthier’s little bubble of peace and quiet, Noah doesn’t care to uphold appearances. It has become gradually easier to let his guard down in his own quarters, be it in the kitchen cooking together or snuggled up in bed - but the fact remains that even in his very own rooms Noah can’t escape the mantle of Judge Magister entirely. Not with his armour propped up in the corner of his bedroom and the lingering unease of countless nights spent standing by the window staring into the void or sat on his sofa in the living room, trying to silence his demons through working until the early morning hours.

This hangar however, as old and dusty and abandoned as it was, held none of that. Instead, it seemed like a small world of its own, isolated from the rest of Archades and with it his duties. This place...it breathed Balthier and Noah can’t help but revel in the oddly welcoming atmosphere.

Yes, he’d very much like to see what his….what Balthier was working on here. Mostly because he wants to see more of his genuine, happy smile but also because he’s honestly interested.

* * *

"I'd have to like carrots for that to work." Balthier smirks back as he waits for Noah to come closer. 

He liked that they could be like this with each other and he had noticed that Noah wasn't as guarded, that he was far more relaxed in his presences then he had been when they had first met. Balthier rolls his eyes when Noah seems to not get the hint that he wants to be closer. His arms drop for a moment as Noah moves in to brush some of his hair away. When that hand stops to cup his cheek, Balthier leans into it and brings his hand up to hold Noah's hand there.

"I'll show you but first...." Balthier drops his hand from Noah's and then leans forward to wrap his arms around the older man, hugging him close and turning his face enough to bury it in the side of Noah's neck. 

He hugs the man tight and for perhaps a few seconds longer than necessary before releasing him. Balthier's expression is soft and it makes him look even younger....but happy. Very happy, a soft happy that was difficult to replicate. 

Balthier slips his hand into Noah's before he's turning and heading up the stairs leading the man along behind him. 

"I've been working on the Strahl's third engine trying to duplicate the work I've done on the first and second one. There are still two engines to work on but now that I've done it three times, it's becoming a quicker process." Balthier explains. 

He does intertwine their fingers when he stops at the door into the engine room. There was a stool and an array of tools neatly placed around the stool. 

Balthier tugs Noah further in and only then reluctantly releases his hand so he can take a seat on the stool. He motions to the part he's working on. "The hydraulics are what I'm currently working on. I've changed four and I have four more to change."

* * *

Noah doesn’t resist Balthier’s embrace even though he does eye the stains, not all of them dried, all over Balthier’s clothes. His…, well,  _ Balthier _ snuggling into him, his soft breaths and hair tickling Noah’s skin under his jaw, absolutely makes up for any of the odd substances rubbing off on his own clothes though so Noah doesn’t mind all that much. It’s not as if he doesn’t have another set to change into - or does his own laundry most of the time at that. 

Perks of being a Judge Magister and residing in the palace. 

Without consciously thinking about it, Noah’s arms come up to wrap around Balthier as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. As if their dynamic hadn’t changed significantly just a few days ago. But maybe that’s just it. From their first exchange in his office Balthier has been able to draw reactions out of Noah when no one else had been able to for the most part. And without even trying hard, at that. 

Seems like that’s Balthier’s personal brand of magic. 

Noah’s tiny grin goes unseen, hidden in soft if a little damp strands of honey-coloured hair. If it were indeed magic, he’d be firmly under Balthier’s spell. A novel experience it may be but Noah can be honest enough to himself to know that he wouldn’t really try to shake it off because why would he? 

This was good. 

And then Balthier lets go and slips his hand into Noah’s instead. 

“What are…” Noah falls silent as his neck grows hot, his brain catching on just a few seconds too late. Gods, please have mercy and don’t let him blush or anything.  _ Holding hands? _ They were  _ holding hands _ now? It’s ridiculous, Noah knows, but it somehow feels more intimate than the few kisses they have shared or the nights they slept in each others arms. 

But all of those moments, moments just between the two of them, had all been in private, in Noah’s quarters. This hangar...was very much  _ not _ private. Which, again, is ridiculous. For Ultima’s sake, there’s just the two of them, it’s just another setting. Noah is torn between rolling his eyes at himself and marvelling and the unexpected  _ shyness _ making him feel so thrown. 

So instead, he settles on lightly squeezing Balthier’s hand and focusing on the warmth of his grip. 

Maybe he just needed to stop thinking so much. Maybe he should just enjoy this and let it unfold, see where it takes them. 

...if only it was that easy. Between trying to navigate his barbwire-riddled mind and taking his walls down brick by brick, nothing seemed quite  _ easy _ despite Noah feeling ridiculously  _ at _ ease in Balthier’s company. 

The gods be damned, why couldn’t life ever be easy? Noah shakes the morose turn his thoughts took off the best he can, eyes fixed on Balthier’s elegant side profile or what little he can see following him deeper into the Strahl. This was Balthier-time. Healing-time, in a sense because Balthier does have that effect on him whether he knows it or not. And for once, Noah would just like to enjoy his maybe-boyfriends company without the baggage tied to his leg. 

“This is incredible, Balthier.” Already missing the warmth of Balthier’s hand in his, Noah gives the younger man a small but soft smile at the pride and excitement evident in his voice. “You’ve done all of this on your own, haven’t you? I don’t think anyone would have been able to tune this old girl up quite like this except for you.” he praises. 

It is praise well-deserved. And Balthier should know. 

“Want me to help you with those hydraulics? Maybe that test flight will come just a little sooner.”

* * *

It was as if Noah had said the magic words because Balthier's face lights up. 

He wanted to help.  _ Noah _ wanted to help  _ him _ fix up the Strahl. This was something they could do  _ together _ . 

Words get caught in his throat as he tries to quell how emotional Noah offering to help made him feel. It was such an illogical reaction and yet....the swell of warmth that fills him is so overwhelming that Balthier swears he can feel tears prickle at the edges of his eyes. This had been something that his father had promised to help him work on. They had planned a good portion of it together before Balthier was finding himself more and more alone. And then, finding that his father was less and less himself. 

Someone entirely different. 

Balthier has to push those thoughts away and hold onto the absolute warmth, choking warmth, that he was currently feeling. 

" _ Yes! _ " Balthier exhales, voice filled with an onslaught of emotion that he knows Noah will be able to pick up on. He doesn't even have it in him to be embarrassed that the thought of someone helping him on the Strahl could get him this...choked up. 

He clears his throat trying to compose himself before he's nodding slowly. "I mean yes....I would like that. A lot." 

Balthier is the one getting up from the stool as he strides out of the engine room without warning. Rummaging can be heard from somewhere outside and then Balthier returns with a second stool, a set of gloves, and a leather apron. It was clear that Balthier had always hoped to work on this with someone. It wouldn't be clear to Noah who....but someone....his father. 

"Here." Balthier offers the gloves and apron to Noah. "You can use these." He sets the stool down beside his own and then he's beaming at Noah again. "Have you ever changed hydraulics on a ship?" 

Balthier takes a seat back on the stool as he makes himself comfortable. "I can show you and then let you try the next one?" He offers.

* * *

For a brief moment, Noah is both quietly amused by and internally panicking at the excited but  _ watery _ reaction he gets from Balthier.  _ Please don’t cry, please don’t… _ chanting in his mind, Noah almost laughs at himself when he realises his brain going into overdrive with the ‘threat’ of emotions on the horizon. 

Whatever is going through Balthier’s mind, it’s having a huge impact on him, that much Noah can tell even before the young man manages to manifest a plethora of emotions in only one word (and how even….?). Being faced with this much open  _ joy _ laced with...is that regret?...is not what Noah expected but it’s...unexpectedly heartwarming. 

Seems like even an emotionally stunted ‘hound’ as young Lord Vayne was so fond of calling him - damn presumptous  _ teenager _ that he was - could do something right every once in a while. 

Banishing the thoughts of  _ that _ particular imperial menace to the back of his mind, Noah clears his throat and vows to himself to only focus on Balthier and the light he’s exuding unknowingly, at least to Noah’s clouded eyes. Guiding him even if he doesn’t know it. 

Still, despite Balthier’s obvious excitement there  _ was _ something else in his voice earlier, hovering there like a dark cloud threatening to cover the sun. Something Noah doesn’t feel comfortable addressing just yet but making him want to give comfort somehow but before he can do so much as reach out for Balthier, the young man...leaves? 

Noah can’t help but stare at the door, very bemused. 

Looking down on the second set of work clothes a minute later, it makes sense and yet, it doesn’t. Why does Balthier have a second set readily available? Or better yet, for whom? They look unused but not new so he definitely didn’t get them recently…

It doesn’t matter. 

Or well, going by Balthier’s emotional display earlier it does. But instinctively, Noah guesses that it’s too early to enquire yet. Besides, knowing Balthier he’ll come to him in his own time if he wants to share something. Or so Noah hopes. 

“The academy covered the general workings of airships so I’m vaguely familiar with some things.” Noah reaches out to take the offered gloves and apron from Balthier and leans in to press a featherlight kiss to the corner of Balthier’s mouth without thinking about it. “Thank you. That was all theory though so I’ve never worked on a real airship.” 

Cheeks feeling hot but an insistent if a little bashful smile tugging on his lips, Noah concentrates on putting the apron on, nimble fingers tying the strings behind his back. That...wasn’t what he had wanted to do. Maybe grab Balthier’s hand or shoulder, give it a reassuring squeeze or something...not a  _ kiss _ . Although it had felt nice. Surprisingly right. 

On some days, usually around Balthier, Noah doesn’t recognise himself anymore - too many of the sides he apparently has completely unknown to him. And yet… 

...the man he’s discovering hidden under the thick layer of memories, festering contempt and aloofness is one he thinks he could easily learn to like. 

"Show me, please?"

* * *

Balthier knows that he shouldn't be as surprised by the kiss to the corner of his mouth as he currently is....but he was. Even in the safety of Noah's residence, the man was always incredibly conservative with his touches and affection. It was only during the veil of night that the man seemed to be a lot more at ease with it, holding Balthier and wrapping him in strong arms. 

This was different but pleasant. 

It has all those feelings settling as he gently reaches to touch the still tingling spot. This was good....an improvement for sure. 

Balthier is nodding at Noah's explanation. "It was very rudimentary knowledge." He comments. "No offense to the academy but I feel as if they should have gone further in depth. What if an airship you’re on gets shot down and you're the only one with the basic knowledge to fix it. Personally, it seemed ridiculous not to prepare a Judge-to-be for all possible situations." 

Balthier shrugs at this as he turns back around to face the hydraulics. He slips his gloves back on and then he's shuffling the stool forward so he isn't leaning forward to reach. 

"I'll go slowly for this one and then I can let you do the second one with my guidance." He smiles as he glances over his shoulder at Noah. 

As Balthier had said, he first explains the mechanics of the hydraulic system before he goes into the explanation of what tools were the best to use for this type of engine, and then he demonstrates. Even though he does slow down the process so Noah can follow, Balthier shows such an ease and elegance in the way he works. 

He stops to explain certain parts as he dismantles it and then he's adding new parts to it, ones that look like the few that he'd already changed on this engine. The entire explanation and demonstration takes about 30 minutes before it's changed and ready to go. 

Balthier turns on his stool to glance up at Noah. "You think you can handle that?"

* * *

Balthier's obvious disgust with the Academy's inadequate curriculum draws an amused smirk from Noah but he tries to hide his amusement and just nods. Balthier isn't wrong in any case, it would be smart to include sufficient training for anyone not in the airship program. Even thinking about a situation as Balthier described...no. 

Not something Noah ever wants to find himself in. 

He listens to Balthier with rapt attention and a keen eye on the proceedings but gods, airships are  _ complicated _ . Or maybe not so much complicated but complex...it is hard for Noah to actually pay attention to Balthier's explanations with how graceful he's handling the repairs but he manages. 

He may be a smitten idiot but he's still one of the most dangerous men in the Empire and as such able to tune every distraction out no matter how attractive and captivating it is. And Balthier certainly fits the bill for both, that much Noah is absolutely certain the whole city would agree on if asked. 

"I think I can handle it, yes. You're a good teacher." Noah nods and tugs his gloves on. "So, first I need to cut off the power supply before I remove this part, right?" 

Going to work under Balthier's watchful eyes turns out more relaxing than Noah thought. Before long, there's oil stains on his long gloves, apron and even on his pants on some spots, matching those on Balthier...but finally, his mind goes quiet, the cacophony of his past which is usually driving him forward...quiet. 

It's a relief Noah hasn't known often. It is all the more precious for it, not least of all because Balthier gave this to him if unwittingly. 

Taking the hydraulics apart and putting them back together with Balthier by his side, his calm if at times amused instructions in his ears...it is an unexpected peace and Noah lets himself fall into it. Seeing the mechanics come together, the signal lights flickering back to life after going unused for so long is satisfying beyond belief. 

For once, he's creating something with his hands rather than orchestrating someone's downfall or taking someone's life. 

For once, he gets to be simply Noah the man, instead of Gabranth, Judge Magister of the Empire. And best of all, Balthier doesn't seem to have any expectations he feels the need to fulfill. With him, Noah can just be himself. 

A novel but treasured experience. 

"...this should be the last." Noah sits back and wipes the light sweat from his forehead with his arm, mostly uncaring if he gets some of the grease on his gloves on his face. 

"Want to try and see if it works or if I messed up?" Leaning back on his stool, Noah turns his head a little and looks upwards at Balthier hovering behind his back, just close enough that Noah can feel his warmth even through the layer of his clothes.

* * *

The tips of Balthier's ears do tint at the compliment about being a good teacher. He had never pegged himself as the sort but he really did like explaining mechanics to people. It was one of those things that really impassioned him. "Typically yes, but this engine doesn't currently have any power. Besides the hydraulics, I have a few more essential repairs that I'll need to make." 

He smiles lightly as he moves his stool over but remains seated so he can watch Noah. 

Balthier is pretty pleased that Noah learns quickly. He absorbs every piece of information that he gives him and is able to replicate, with a bit of help (but not too much), how to change the next hydraulic. From there, Balthier lets Noah do the last one. He tries to not give the man much assistance. 

So much so, that Balthier stands up and rounds his stool to stand behind Noah. He watches quietly as Noah pulls apart the old hydraulic only to put together the new one. He can't see any fault in the installment and it has Balthier smiling. Even though Noah wasn't his father, getting to work with the man on the Strahl was...special. It was as if he'd shown Noah another part of him without even intending to. 

This part was supposed to be a secret but he should have known that the head of intelligence would have found him and discovered what he'd been up to. Anyone who was properly paying attention should have been able to pick up on it. This just meant that besides Noah, no one else knew Balthier outside of palace talk. 

His gaze shifts from the hydraulics down to Noah who was wiping at his forehead. It pulls another fond smile out of Balthier and he's starting to realise how head over heels he is for this man and how dangerous of a position he was currently in. The thing was, that Balthier didn't really care. This position was worth it if he could share moments like this with Noah more often.

"I'll have to try it when I've made the last few repairs. She's not quite ready to come to life yet." Balthier offers Noah an apologetic smile. "Although, just by watching you, I know you've done a good job. I'm not at all worried about it." 

He steps around the vacated stool beside Noah to take a seat as he starts gathering his tools. "We can call it a night?" He offers as he peers up at Noah through his periphery.

Balthier's finding that his smile is a bit infectious and although usually he was able to school his expression, he couldn't quite achieve that in this moment. He was just.....so happy. It was such an odd feeling considering how unhappy he had been for so long. 

"If you pass me your gloves and apron, I can store it away until you come back....if you want to come back...." Balthier mentions so that Noah's aware that he's always welcomed, more than welcomed really. Balthier wanted him to come back, to work on the Strahl with him, so that he can spend time with both his future ship and... _ Noah _ .

* * *

Noah can feel the back of his neck grow hot in response to Balthier’s praise and not for the first and definitely not last time he’s grateful that he’s not prone to blushing. A fact Bergan has lamented more than once while trying to get a rise out of him because gods forbid a Judge Magister blush. It brings Noah not inconsiderable satisfaction that the joke's on the great brute. 

...but if anyone manages, it will be Balthier. Noah holds no illusions about this but he's strangely okay with it. 

"I'm sure she'll be ready soon if you continue like this." 

And he is. It is obvious how much care Balthier put into giving the old lady a complete overhaul to make her fit to soar the skies again. Something Noah finds he'd really like to see, actually. This unexpected turn the evening took made one thing very clear to Noah: this was an integral part of Balthier. 

Not in the material sense although it's obvious how much the Strahl means to him but generally speaking. This is who Balthier is, a free spirit thriving on creating things with his hands and brilliant mind, free to go wherever the wind takes him. 

The realisation is as startling as it is not surprising but still, Noah looks at Balthier with new eyes. Suddenly, the stories of Balthier acting out during his apprenticeships make much more sense.

You do not cage a magnificent freedom-loving bird and expect it to not go stir-crazy after all. 

"It has been a long day." Noah agrees and tugs the gloves off his hands and unravels the apron's knot. "Calling it a night sounds good to me." 

Handing Balthier both gloves and apron, his face softens at the hopeful but hesitant offer. "If you'll let me, I'd like to come back again. I enjoyed this." 

A lot. 

The time they spent working on the hydraulics together couldn't have been long but Noah feels an odd mix of content, accomplished and lighter of all things. He really wouldn't mind repeating this again. 

Stretching his arms above his head, Noah relishes in the slight burn followed by the relief of the muscles in his back as they relax after sitting hunched over the hydraulics for a while. It is not quite the same feeling after a long workout but equally satisfying, just in different ways. 

"I could do with getting the oil and grease off of me though." Noah murmurs while he tugs on an oily patch on his shirt just above where his gloves had ended. "Shall we, then?"

* * *

Balthier takes the gloves and apron from Noah as he steps out of the engine room to store them away. He returns, side-steps Noah, and grabs his toolbox to set to the side under old parts so no one is the wiser, if they were to come onto the Strahl.

He can feel his cheeks heat up at the admittance that Noah had enjoyed the manual work that Balthier had managed to convince him to partake in.

Gods....he was really feeling warm this evening, well, night. 

He clears his throat as he steps out of the engine room again, guiding Noah out. Balthier does pause when Noah stretches and he knows he's staring which is why he jerks his gaze away, pivots, and strides off to the cockpit where he grabs his book. He didn't want to leave it here but it was a perfect excuse to make a small escape. 

Balthier swallows as he huffs at how juvenile he perceived himself to be acting. 

He'd slept in this man's arms on countless nights. He'd felt that body against his own, never in the way he'd wanted, when he'd gone to relieve himself in the showers....but the contact was still more than Balthier could have ever asked for. 

Balthier stops when they reach the exit of the Strahl and he doesn't know what overcomes him but he wishes he had had more self-restraint. "I could help you get the oil and grease off." He offers sounding  _ far more _ confident than he felt. Honestly, he should be proud with how even that had come off as if this wasn't the first time he's offered this.

It takes his brain a little longer to catch up to how that would come across (and the fact that he had wanted it to come across that way). 

A part of him wonders if Noah will retract the offer of letting him sleep at his place. They'd never talked about being sexual in any capacity but Balthier also didn't know how to bring it up with a man like Noah, Judge Magister of Intelligence. 

"You know what, I'll just stay here tonight...." Balthier might as well ground himself before he makes things awkward between them again.

* * *

Noah follows Balthier as he's puttering around the Strahl setting her back to rights so nothing hints at him having been here. It's interesting to see how at ease Balthier is anywhere on board, not just the machine room. 

He does pause in the doorway to the cockpit while Balthier grabs a...book? Abruptly, a vision of Balthier curled up in the pilot's chair, the book in his hand or lap appears before his eyes and reminds him of Balthier's recent illness. 

...is this where Balthier slept when he wasn't staying over at Noah's? 

Somehow, Noah has no trouble imagining it and  _ that _ troubles him in turn. But it makes sense with how adamant Balthier had been about not informing his father of his whereabouts while he recovered and even more than that, not wanting to go home the evening he got roaring drunk. 

It paints a picture Noah doesn't like. At all. But...they've had a nice, peaceful evening and now is not the time to broach the subject. He may be wrong but instinct tells Noah that it wouldn't go over all that well. 

Still a little preoccupied with this recent realisation/suspicion, Balthier's casual -  _ almost too casual _ \- offer almost goes right over his head.  _ Almost _ , because the moment the younger man's words register, Noah almost misses the first step down the stairs and he turns to stare at Balthier, frozen in surprise. 

_ I could help you get the oil and grease off. _

It takes Noah far too long to wrap his mind around the implications of these unassuming ten words and the myriad appealing images they create in his mind. Long enough for Balthier to backtrack and…

"No!" Noah clears his suddenly dry throat and lets go of Balthier's arm he had reached for without thinking, a little embarrassed with himself. "Please stay. I mean...if you...do you...would you want that?" 

Gods. Way to go to make an ass out of himself. Noah wants to groan. 

How was it that this  _ eighteen year old _ routinely managed to reduce him to a blundering mess? He's Judge Magister for Zeromus' sake. How is it that he can read criminals their rights completely straight-faced but wasn't able to form a normal sentence after being propositioned by the most enticing man in all of Archades? 

Noah closes his eyes for a brief moment and exhales audibly hoping that he didn't scare Balthier off, then reaches for his hand this time. 

"I apologise, you took me by surprise. I'd...like that. If you wanted to come home with me that is." 

And gods, would he ever. Noah feels hot all of a sudden. An intense but gentle heat, radiating through his whole body from his core igniting feelings in him he had almost forgotten about. 

_ Please, whoever is listening, let him say yes. _

* * *

Home. 

Noah had kept saying that and Balthier knew it filled him with warmth. It was the same way he felt whenever those hazel eyes landed on him and showered him with attention. It was that intense feeling whenever Noah touched him or held him. The way he seemed to brighten Balthier's day even if the man seemed to be in a sour mood. 

It was the gentleness in all of Noah's touches...the fact that Balthier swears no one else has ever seen this side of Judge Magister Gabranth. 

Home... 

Bunansa Estate should have felt like home and Balthier knows that at one point in his life it had but not anymore. The things that had occurred....it had destroyed any of the feelings that he was currently experiencing. Except, these feelings were far stronger, they were different, almost as if he'd found the missing puzzle piece to his life. A piece that he was apparently always looking for and never thought he would ever find. 

"Home with you..." Balthier tries those words out on his tongue. 

It felt incredibly right and that was probably the most startling part. His hazel greens lift up to meet imploring hazel ones. Those eyes seem to knock the air out of his lungs as he nods slowly. 

"I do...want that..." Balthier murmurs almost afraid to break this spell that they had fallen under. It could have just been him but it was such an amazing feeling and Balthier really didn't want to let it go. 

He's interlacing their fingers together and squeezing reassuringly. "Take me home then."


End file.
